So annoyed the cheaters are not getting consequences

[Anonymous]

So on behalf of a friend I am so annoyed. Her DH ran off with a subordinate at work (they all work at the same place); the subordinate was also married with kids (he has two with my friend). The two cheaters both divorced and are now together and it has been going on for a total of four years, on and off, with divorce just final 3m ago. Meanwhile cheaters are very happy, no one seems to know or care that they were affair partners, and my friend who was so sweet and lovely is bitter angry and devastated. Not the way things usually turn out if you listen to the people on this board who tell you the APs never wind up together or happy. It’s annoying.

[Anonymous]

It is early days. They both wound up with lying, unfaithful partners. That is NO prize.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who would cheat has deep problems. Just because they stay together doesn't mean they are happy. My ex and his AP are still together but I know at this point they are making each other miserable. Because they are miserable, broken people.

[Anonymous]

Your friend needs to focus on her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is early days. They both wound up with lying, unfaithful partners. That is NO prize.

Except it’s not. Read the post, it’s several YEARS.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even know anybody who has cheated (to my knowledge, obviously) and I get annoyed too. I see comments about the psychological and sometimes physical harm done by cheating and it is wild that, if people like the cheater, they kind of shrug their shoulders and say “well nobody’s perfect ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

I get that people make mistakes but when they show no remorse? I would not be one of those people who pretend that I think they are okay.

But yeah cheaters do often wind up getting a happily ever after. It’s awful. I feel the same way about white collar criminals who get away with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friend needs to focus on her life.

Yup. Being bitter and miserable is getting her nowhere. And OP. It's time to grow up life isn't A Disney movie where the bad guys always suffer.

[Anonymous]

Yup, normal. My husband's ex cheated and also got the kids, child support, alimony and all the stuff. She was rewarded for her bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Just wait. They do and it’s miraculous. Karma sometimes isn’t quick.

[Anonymous]

I get that your friend is devastated, hurt, betrayed and she is watching him run off to be happy while she is alone however she isn't helping herself by becoming bitter.

I read a great saying ages ago, that was something similar to 'bitterness, resentment or anger is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to get sick'.

At some stage your friend needs to help herself otherwise she will drown in her bitterness. She needs to focus on herself and turn away from them and what is happening in their lives. Its hard but she needs to.

Perhaps when she is ready if she stops looking at them and really looks at her marriage she may look back and see it wasn't what she thought it was. Then perhaps she can look at her ex and see who he really is. It will eventually hopefully look really unappealing to her.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think anything can really give you equanimity after your husband runs off with his ten years younger student and is now introducing your kids to her, your kids who don’t yet know that she was the AP or that the divorce was because of infidelity. She’s 42 and they were together for like 15 years. The OW is 30. He is a seriously immature person and I don’t see a grown up in their relationship, but it won’t matter bc he is independently wealthy. She will have kids, my friends kids will have half siblings, it just sucks to lose creative control of your family.

[Anonymous]

That's all right by me. Frankly this board has a few mentally ill posters who seem to think that cheaters rank worse than any other criminal on the planet. It's unhealthy and creepy. Move on already. Nobody else cares but you.

[Anonymous]

Wow. A lot of you need help. This is NOT normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. A lot of you need help. This is NOT normal.

What’s not normal? Unfortunately friend has more than once felt the need to “report” the relationship and I have told her makes her look like a crazy person.

[Anonymous]

^ But obviously lots of emotionally healthy people disagree with you and do care. I’m one. Never been cheated on but I think cheaters have a massive character defect that likely manifests itself in other areas of their life.