Maintaining a friendship when other mom doesn't like my kid

[Anonymous]

Tell this mom that having the three of them hang out together isn't working. The dynamic isn't good anymore, and it's best that the boys hang out without sister there. Don't diss or blame the daughter, remain objective. Bottom line: One-on-one boy time works better right now. It's obvious that your son wants to play with his friend one-on-one without his sister around.

I don't care if it isn't PC to say it, it is the truth. Having a third wheel is usually a recipe for disaster with play time! If this mom says no daughter has to come along too, well you . It happens end the play times. It happens at this age. Then you enroll him in an activity to make other friends.

[Anonymous]

^^well you end the play times.^^

Stick up for your son!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Em” should just sit away from him on the bus — although I suspect “Em” is reveling in mommy’s attention.

This mom is a PITA, OP. Just let your son be friends with her son at school. You don’t need to co-sign her drama. Life is too short.

+1. I suspect she'll find any reason at all to blame OP'S son for some perceived or made up slight.

But don't let the friendship end. Good friends are important for kids.

[Anonymous]

Stay away from that mom. Anyone who is sending texts like that about 10-year-olds is dangerous. You need to protect your son from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me, I would let the friendship go and tell your DS to stay far away from the sister.

If you're 100% certain that your DS isn't deliberately targeting this girl, I would let the friendship go. The mom is calling/texting you over (imo) some extremely minor stuff and her DD sounds way too fragile (probably reinforced by mom's constant rescue and attention for every little thing).

Anyway, once your DS is on someone's list, it's hard to change minds.

I agree with this. Tell your son he can be friends with the boy twin at school/activities but that’s it. He can tell his friend it’s because his mom blames him for anything that happens to his sister.

Reading between the lines it sounds like the boy twin is a big part of teasing his sister, but it’s easier for the mom to blame his friends than deal with her own child’s bad behavior.

+1

Keep your kid far away from that mom. She is lashing out unreasonably.

[Anonymous]

OP, certainly 2 women have other things to talk about besides their kids.

Think about it

But if you don't enjoy her company, you don't have to choose her as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Some parents are confused about their role. This lady’s job is to teach her daughter resilience, not blame your son when her daughter is overly sensitive. I’d feel differently if your son were truly targeting her or doing something mean that crosses a line, but I believe you when you say he is not. He’s behaving like a typical 10 year old boy. They are not perfect. It seems like it’s a thing that 10 year old girls get hurt/horrified/offended over things that other boys would probably just brush off or laugh off. It’s hard for parents to see their child hurt, so maybe that’s why this other mom went all irrational mama bear on your son. I’d protect my son from her, personally. He doesn’t need her blame or toxicity.

It’s also the other mother’s job to teach her son that you shouldn’t condone and enable cruel/inappropriate behavior by continuing to bring around people who behave inappropriately. This may the other mom giving OP a chance to address the inappropriate behavior with her own child before they take stronger measures to their own child to reinforce the message.

That’s right. OP shouldn’t condone the cruelty/blame this other mom is extending toward her son. It’s hard for kids to know when an adult is acting irrationally toward them. OP has addressed everything with her son but she should absolutely not overreact and over discipline her son because someone else was extra sensitive.

Whatever the dynamic may be elsewhere, Emily’s home should be a refuge where she can get a break from the outside teasing and harassment. She shouldn’t have it constantly following her home in the form of her brother’s friends.

The boys can spend time together elsewhere, it doesn’t have to happen in the other kid’s home.

[Anonymous]

I would straight up tell my son if he wants to remain friends with the boy, then he needs to avoid interacting with the girl beyond basic polite necessities. Explain the other mom has said will no longer allow them to play together anymore if the girls complains again. Start having just the boy at your place.

[Anonymous]

When a parent says their child is “strong willed”, it really means they are a brat. Sorry but it’s the truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Some parents are confused about their role. This lady’s job is to teach her daughter resilience, not blame your son when her daughter is overly sensitive. I’d feel differently if your son were truly targeting her or doing something mean that crosses a line, but I believe you when you say he is not. He’s behaving like a typical 10 year old boy. They are not perfect. It seems like it’s a thing that 10 year old girls get hurt/horrified/offended over things that other boys would probably just brush off or laugh off. It’s hard for parents to see their child hurt, so maybe that’s why this other mom went all irrational mama bear on your son. I’d protect my son from her, personally. He doesn’t need her blame or toxicity.

It’s also the other mother’s job to teach her son that you shouldn’t condone and enable cruel/inappropriate behavior by continuing to bring around people who behave inappropriately. This may the other mom giving OP a chance to address the inappropriate behavior with her own child before they take stronger measures to their own child to reinforce the message.

That’s right. OP shouldn’t condone the cruelty/blame this other mom is extending toward her son. It’s hard for kids to know when an adult is acting irrationally toward them. OP has addressed everything with her son but she should absolutely not overreact and over discipline her son because someone else was extra sensitive.

This. And I agree with other PPs that you should teach your son to not participate in the teasing in school and on the bus. Both the girl and the mom may be sensitive but their home should definitely be a refuge.

Whatever the dynamic may be elsewhere, Emily’s home should be a refuge where she can get a break from the outside teasing and harassment. She shouldn’t have it constantly following her home in the form of her brother’s friends.

The boys can spend time together elsewhere, it doesn’t have to happen in the other kid’s home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Some parents are confused about their role. This lady’s job is to teach her daughter resilience, not blame your son when her daughter is overly sensitive. I’d feel differently if your son were truly targeting her or doing something mean that crosses a line, but I believe you when you say he is not. He’s behaving like a typical 10 year old boy. They are not perfect. It seems like it’s a thing that 10 year old girls get hurt/horrified/offended over things that other boys would probably just brush off or laugh off. It’s hard for parents to see their child hurt, so maybe that’s why this other mom went all irrational mama bear on your son. I’d protect my son from her, personally. He doesn’t need her blame or toxicity.

It’s also the other mother’s job to teach her son that you shouldn’t condone and enable cruel/inappropriate behavior by continuing to bring around people who behave inappropriately. This may the other mom giving OP a chance to address the inappropriate behavior with her own child before they take stronger measures to their own child to reinforce the message.

That’s right. OP shouldn’t condone the cruelty/blame this other mom is extending toward her son. It’s hard for kids to know when an adult is acting irrationally toward them. OP has addressed everything with her son but she should absolutely not overreact and over discipline her son because someone else was extra sensitive.

Whatever the dynamic may be elsewhere, Emily’s home should be a refuge where she can get a break from the outside teasing and harassment. She shouldn’t have it constantly following her home in the form of her brother’s friends.

The boys can spend time together elsewhere, it doesn’t have to happen in the other kid’s home.

This. And I agree with other PPs that you should teach your son to not participate in the teasing in school and on the bus. Both the girl and the mom may be sensitive but their home should definitely be a refuge.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your kid is participating in some problem behavior. It's a problem to Em and the mom. Maybe they're being extra sensitive, but if what he's saying is hurtful he need to be aware that his type of joking isn't right, whether or not he's the ringleader. Meanwhile, distance yourselves. They don't like him and there is a personality clash. The boys can play together at school, or at your house, but sending him there isn't going to end well.

I had a parent tell me my kid was rude. She had no examples to give. But I talked to my kid about how certain things might seem to other people. I've since asked other parents if they have heard this behavior form her, or any other problems I should know about, and all were clear that she's no problem at all and welcome any time. I've given up on the other parent. She doesn't have to like my kid, but I'm not putting my kid in a situation where someone is constantly judging her and can't even back up with a reason.

[Anonymous]

I thought your kid and Em could work this out but a better plan would be for your kid to be polite, but otherwise don't engage. He also needs to stop taking part in the teasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a parent says their child is “strong willed”, it really means they are a brat. Sorry but it’s the truth

Even if that is true, the other mom sounds dangerously crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When a parent says their child is “strong willed”, it really means they are a brat. Sorry but it’s the truth

Even if that is true, the other mom sounds dangerously crazy.

DP, but this is so silly. There is nothing “dangerously crazy” in what OP shared. If you think there is, show the quotes.