Husband Is Adamant I Breastfeed

[Anonymous]

“Too bad she’s making the wrong one.”

That judgment seems excessive.

There are tradeoffs here. It might be worse for her in long run to stop breastfeeding if breast cancer runs in her family, but most babies will not have adverse outcomes from formula.

It’s better for her relationship for her husband and her to be on the same page. It isn’t good if she resents it later on.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like she has PPD

[Anonymous]

OP, as others have said the first few weeks are the hardest. Even if you stopped nursing/pumping tomorrow the issues you’re dealing with (engorgement, leaking) would not stop right away. In fact it would get worse, and you’d run the risk of mastitis (which is seriously no fun at all). No matter what, your body is going to be going through this for a few more weeks, whether you’re nursing or not. This is part of post partum.

You’re 2 weeks in. Could you set yourself a timeframe? Like 2 more weeks? Or even until baby’s 2 month vaccinations? That may seem like a long time but it goes quickly. Some of the discomfort you’re experiencing may abate by then and you may find nursing is convenient or not so bad. Or if you still don’t like it, then you can make the decision to stop.

If you’re sure you want to stop now, drop one feed/pump a week. Seriously, mastitis with a newborn is pretty wretched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stopping because it isn't working or because it's difficult with other responsibilities is one thing. Stopping because you "don't like it" is just kinda selfish. I'm very supportive of bottle feeding and did both with my kids but you seem to be pulling the plug on something that is 1. beneficial to your baby and 2. important to your DH simply because of a personal whim. The poor guy is doing all he can to support you in something and you're being dramatic.

You are a garbage human. OP, don't listen to this hypocritical freak. She's the type of woman who is anti-abortion but thinks her abortion is "different." Your discomfort, and your feelings about what to do with your own body, aren't whims or personal conveniences. They are important and they matter. Your baby will be completely fine with formula. Your DH may well just be trying to figure out how to get control of things in this new situation you all are now in, since he necessarily been something of a sidelined watcher for so much of your pregnancy and now this newborn stage, but he needs to learn to cope with his anxiety on his own. And I agree with others that you need a new pediatrician. Yours had an agenda she's clearly willing to sacrifice you to.

+1 and perfectly said. This is your choice and if you don’t like it, for whatever reason, you don’t have to keep going. Your baby will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Formula is one of the best inventions in human history. I have never loved a product so much.

That said, I had trouble breastfeeding. I had to use the nipple shield and then only one breast.

But some advice that real stuck with me is stop breastfeeding when either you or the baby resents it.

Also, Emily Oster breaks down the stats with breastfeeding and it isn’t a miracle drug (unless you have a premie). It helps with diarrhea and probably one less ear infection. The biggest benefit it offers besides closeness and convenience is it lowers the risk of breast cancer in mothers.

Please be careful with Emily Oster, some of her advice is medically dangerous.

[Anonymous]

You are in the worst of it. My nipples were on fire for about six weeks, and then…they weren’t. I would stick it out for 2 to 4 more weeks and then decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your body….your decision.

Yes, but he counts too.

Sure, when he grows a set of boobs that can produce milk.

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t producing enough milk for the first month and I wanted to give up as it was so frustrating so my baby was quickly on formula. But after a month I began to produce more and that mom/baby bonding was amazing even though I needed to continue to supplement with formula. Yes, it took a lot of time but the bonding especially in quiet hours was wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breast feeding is 5 hours a day. If your DH wants to take that amount of time and work on *extra* cleaning the house and caring for the baby while you do what you want, sure. Otherwise it is your decision.

I assume the DH is working more than 5 hours a day to provide his wife the financial means to stay home. Surely that counts as caring for the baby. No?

[Anonymous]

I did not breastfeed either of my kids and it never even occurred to me to seek my husband's opinion. It also didn't occur to him to offer it. He knows me pretty well.

[Anonymous]

OP - I am going to tell you secret of having a baby and what the baby wants. Ready???

A happy mother!!!!!!


I swear to you that your baby wants a happy mom more than anything else on the planet. So you do what makes sense for YOUR body and YOUR breasts. We are in 2021 and you luckily have so many choices



For the haters I nursed my 2 kids for more than a year each. It was the easy thing for me. If it’s not the easy thing for THIS mom she should make a different choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like she has PPD

I don’t get that at all. She said she didn’t want to breastfeed. That doesn’t mean someone has PPD. Some just don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your body….your decision.

Yes, but he counts too.

No, he does not.

+2

The non-breastfeeding person can ask how to be supportive. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I normally would be very pro your body, your choice. But with covid, would you ever forgive yourself if you stopped breastfeeding and your baby got covid? If you are okay with it, stop breast feeding. Also talk to your doctor. Your baby might be more in danger of measles from antivaxxers.

Wow, this is a terrible thing to say. It's not like breastfeeding gives perfect immunity, we're not even sure how much is passed from a vaxxed mother to a baby.