Ex husband asked me to stop calling his mom when our child is visiting

[Anonymous]

I have a seven year old who doesn’t start camp until next week. Last week, my aunt babysat her, this week my ex’s mom is babysitting. I called last night to see how DD’s day is going and to say goodnight. This is something I do when she’s with my aunt or even her dad. He calls when she’s with me. Today, my ex called me and said his mom doesn’t want me calling her while DD is visiting. She thinks it’s getting in the way of her bonding time with DD. I never imagined it would be a problem to call my own child! I’m not calling to bother her, I just call more so to say goodnight. Am I missing something? Am I wrong for this?

[Anonymous]

It’s his time, not yours. He makes the rules during that time.

[Anonymous]

No, that's a completely inappropiate thing for them to ask. Shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Do you let him call nightly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s his time, not yours. He makes the rules during that time.

Disagree. He can't leave the child with a 3rd party and then dictate she not contact the child. It's terrible for the child.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely agree with him. I’m sorry and I know it sucks. I am a mom of two children, 12 and 10. We got divorced when they were three and nine months old. When it is his time/his families time. You have to back off. I know from my children if I were to call or Skype it makes them very upset and on able to enjoy their time with his family

[Anonymous]

Is she babysitting overnight? Like the child is visiting grandma for a week?

If she's just with Grandma for the day, I'd wait and call when she's back at Dad's. But if your kid is away from you overnight, it's entirely reasonable to call them to say goodnight. I would tell her that you're sorry it's disruptive, but that you feel that it's important for her to touch base with both her parents regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s his time, not yours. He makes the rules during that time.

Disagree. He can't leave the child with a 3rd party and then dictate she not contact the child. It's terrible for the child.

Yes he can when it’s his time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you let him call nightly?

Yes I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she babysitting overnight? Like the child is visiting grandma for a week?

If she's just with Grandma for the day, I'd wait and call when she's back at Dad's. But if your kid is away from you overnight, it's entirely reasonable to call them to say goodnight. I would tell her that you're sorry it's disruptive, but that you feel that it's important for her to touch base with both her parents regularly.

Yes, she’s staying overnight for the week.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's giving you a polite heads up that no one is going to answer the calls you make when she is with ex-MIL

[Anonymous]

Totally reasonable to call your kid before bedtime to ask how the day was and say goodnight. ExDH and I NEVER said no to our kids talking to either of us.

It sounds like Grandma is saying "Maybe if Larla doesn't hear from her mom, Larla will forget all about her and then like me better!" That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

You MIL is out of line to expect her grandchild have no contact with her MOTHER for a week. That’s outrageous and I’d shit that down now or no more can visits with grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You MIL is out of line to expect her grandchild have no contact with her MOTHER for a week. That’s outrageous and I’d shit that down now or no more can visits with grandma.

+1

[Anonymous]

I would have freaked if my mom who always called suddenly didn't. I would be convinced she was dead.

I'd call the ex back and say you are willing to not call for the week, but first There needs to be one call to explain the change from the usual plan.