Ex husband asked me to stop calling his mom when our child is visiting

[Anonymous]

https://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2017/03/can-i-block-my-ex-from-calling-texting-or-facetiming-our-child.html

[Anonymous]

My sister is divorced and has a 7 year old. She and her ex have joint custody and my nephew spends lots of time with each grandma too. It would be an absolute sh*tshow if one of the grandmas tried to say my nephew couldn't have contact with one of the parents for a week straight. My mother is not a big fan of my former BIL but my sister shuts it down the second mom so much as hints at grumbling about him, I can only imagine the fire and brimstone that would get rained down if our mom tried to interfere with my nephew having contact with his dad.

That said, at around that age I started getting really homesick anytime I was away from home. Calls from my parents would actually upset me more than having no/limited contact. If there is a similar issue going on with OPs child, it could make sense to limit the calls. But that needs to be communicated, not just "screw you, she's mine this week" nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have freaked if my mom who always called suddenly didn't. I would be convinced she was dead.

I'd call the ex back and say you are willing to not call for the week, but first There needs to be one call to explain the change from the usual plan.

I'm surprised no one picked up on my comment.

How do they go from the expectation of a nightly call to radio silence? How does Dad expect taht to work out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I absolutely agree with him. I’m sorry and I know it sucks. I am a mom of two children, 12 and 10. We got divorced when they were three and nine months old. When it is his time/his families time. You have to back off. I know from my children if I were to call or Skype it makes them very upset and on able to enjoy their time with his family

People who do this suck at parenting. Sorry. This is bullshit. The kids are what is important, not your time. If you can't handle the other parent calling in the evening, you are worse than the kids. Grow the eff up. You all don't have to make this difficult. You are CHOOSING to make it so.

[Anonymous]

OP, It would seem to me that you may have to 1) get your child a cell phone or 2) have the custody order altered so that calls are allowed (required) a certain # of times a week (for both you and ex-spouse) when child is staying with grandparents or other relatives. Admittedly, I'm not sure how feasible that is. It just seems like a good solution to make it court ordered.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you get your kid a cellphone? That way she call you anytime without you having to go through ex-MIL

[Anonymous]

A cell phone doesnt solve this problem. I would not let my 7 year old walk around with a cell phone. If I were divorced and my husband bought one i would just leave it packed away while she was with me. I would not limit him calling, though, I just think 7 is too young for a phone.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how long. If your child is with ex MIL more than two nights, yes I would want to call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, It would seem to me that you may have to 1) get your child a cell phone or 2) have the custody order altered so that calls are allowed (required) a certain # of times a week (for both you and ex-spouse) when child is staying with grandparents or other relatives. Admittedly, I'm not sure how feasible that is. It just seems like a good solution to make it court ordered.

Yes. Although I am not in favor of litigation where it can be avoided, I would alpha the f* out of anyone who was trying to isolate me from my child. This includes judicious threats of litigation.

[Anonymous]

It should always be about what is in the best interest of the child. It should not be about what MIL or anyone else wishes. If the child counts on and looks forward to a goodnight call from Mom then it should not be stripped from her. If the child finds the call intrusive ( I have a one child that feels this way) then that should be respected.

What does the child truly want? She should not be put in the middle of upsetting mom by not doing a nightly call and possibly upsetting grandma if she takes a nightly call.

[Anonymous]

Ex is a total jerk. (I am male)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I absolutely agree with him. I’m sorry and I know it sucks. I am a mom of two children, 12 and 10. We got divorced when they were three and nine months old. When it is his time/his families time. You have to back off. I know from my children if I were to call or Skype it makes them very upset and on able to enjoy their time with his family

People who do this suck at parenting. Sorry. This is bullshit. The kids are what is important, not your time. If you can't handle the other parent calling in the evening, you are worse than the kids. Grow the eff up. You all don't have to make this difficult. You are CHOOSING to make it so.

Agree, such a selfish attitude. You’re talking about a child, not an iPhone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's unacceptable. The kids should have access to both parents at all times.

+ 1 absurd to think otherwise

+2 and this is the way I’d phrase it. This shut down of communication goes both ways. This is not a route he should go down.

Get you dd a phone. Call her once a night on it.

Your ex mil is a jerk.

Your ex-mil is not thinking of what is best for your child. She's being selfish and petty. I agree that you should get your DD a phone (yes, it's very young but circumstances).

[Anonymous]

I'm not divorced, so go ahead and take this with a grain of salt, but if someone tried to keep me from talking to my young child for a week, that person would never see my kid again. It sounds like you and your ex have a reasonably good relationship. I'd call him back and tell him you gave it some thought, but this isn't a reasonable request. Point out that the two of you have prioritized making sure that you each have access to your child and that she has access to each of you, regardless of whose week it is. And frankly, that's simply what's in your daughter's best interest. What kind of person tells a 7 year old they can't talk to one of their parents whenever they want, much less for a whole week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not divorced, so go ahead and take this with a grain of salt, but if someone tried to keep me from talking to my young child for a week, that person would never see my kid again. It sounds like you and your ex have a reasonably good relationship. I'd call him back and tell him you gave it some thought, but this isn't a reasonable request. Point out that the two of you have prioritized making sure that you each have access to your child and that she has access to each of you, regardless of whose week it is. And frankly, that's simply what's in your daughter's best interest. What kind of person tells a 7 year old they can't talk to one of their parents whenever they want, much less for a whole week?

+1

I may be a little biased my grandmother tried doing this when we were visiting her for 2 weeks over a summer when I was 9. It's because she didn't want my mom to know that grandma was implementing her own version of "granny law" and making us miserable. Bedtime at 7 PM, no playing outside, no books, etc. She didn't want my mom "interfering" with her way of doing things.

We didn't visit grandma for more than a night at a time after that.