This Is Us final season

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem, if there is one, of exploring the pain and issues of a TV character’s weight gain and personal struggles of being that dangerously obese is that the actual actress is that overweight in real life. I know actors dig deep all the time, but it seems as if this would strike too close to home to the actress herself and that we, as the audience, would be wondering about her, instead of the character. It’s not one of those fairy tales stories where, at the end of the day, the character becomes thin and lived happily ever after. The actress decided, for whatever reason, NOT to lose the weight to make that story line happen (as if her right). So, I think it will always be an unsatisfactory storyline since there is no stereotypical happy ending or an in depth storyline to analyze what is going on.

+1

And I worry for the actress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toby gets butt hurt about Kevin being there for Kate, but sure doesn’t mind his financial support!

I'm not sure that's true. Remember the episodes where Kevin would offer to pay for things and Toby refused, but Kevin kept insisting? I think it might have been after Toby lost his job. I'm not sure that Toby was ever ok taking Kevin's money.

+1
What has Kevin been paying for? As far as I know, he's not financially supporting them at all.
DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toby gets butt hurt about Kevin being there for Kate, but sure doesn’t mind his financial support!

I'm not sure that's true. Remember the episodes where Kevin would offer to pay for things and Toby refused, but Kevin kept insisting? I think it might have been after Toby lost his job. I'm not sure that Toby was ever ok taking Kevin's money.

+1 And pretty sure Kevin is living in the small LA house rent free.

DP. +2
Which is so bizarre considering he could easily afford a nice place of his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17 year old Kate was accepted to Berklee School of Music, so Kate is definitely talented. That's a tough admit. She doesn't have a degree in music, but she can play the piano and sing.

Why did she wind up not going there?

[Anonymous]

Re: Kate's weight - I honestly think *that* would have been a fair ultimatum for Toby to make. I know how harsh that sounds, but she's the mother of two very young children. I can see him asking her to please have the bypass surgery, for their sakes. Now THAT would have made this show far more interesting. After all, she'd be well within her rights to ask him to stop drinking (if he was an alcoholic) or doing drugs (if he was an addict) because those are risky behaviors that could easily cause death. She needs to have the surgery and lose the weight. It's so incredibly unhealthy to be carrying that much weight around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The problem was that Toby didn't consult Kate about anything. He didn't tell her he had been offered the job in LA before turning it down. When she finds out about it, he doesn't want to tell her what the salary was. Maybe it was for a lot less, but maybe it was for less, but not so much less than when you take cost of living in LA vs SF into account the choice was very clear cut.

He takes her to see a house and says she has to decide to buy it the day after tomorrow. It's the third time he's seen the house. He's already applied for a loan. He hasn't discussed any of this with her. Maybe Kate might want to check out other houses and neighborhoods to see what she likes. Has he figured out where the closest good school for the blind is, what transportation would be involved, good daycare and schools for Haley, parks and playgrounds, etc.? Even long distance, you'd think he'd at least he'd have discussed the possibility of moving to SF with Kate and she would have spent some time researching this sort of thing.

He calls a Lyft without asking Kate if she wants to walk.

He can't come meet her at the airport because he's on a call. He takes a call when they go for a walk. He has to take a call in the morning. But he gets mad at Kate for calling the kids when they go for a walk!

It's not just the healthy lifestyle--it's ditching Kate at the party to discuss a pick for a fantasy football team;telling her waht she should talk about with his co-workers at the cocktail party, making reservations at very pricey, trendy restaurants--again without consulting Kate; buying expensive champagne, etc.

Yes! All of this!

Toby is a walking red flag with his behavior. He has not put her first since he took this job. He couldn't even have a nice weekend with her - only wanted to do it on his terms. He also seems "manic" almost. Perhaps the green egg sends him in a spiral down. Ugh, will be tough to watch.

+1

Toby, for a while now, has been living as if part of his mind sees himself as single. No need to consult on anything. His defensive "You want NUMBERS?!" at Kate, rather than just telling her the salary he'd been offered, was something I wish Kate had called him out on more strongly -- it's so transparent that he hadn't gotten his story straight on what he'd tell her about this job offer. If it was really a poor offer as he said, why not just tell her salary? The list above where PP notes the many ways he was either ignoring her (calls, calls, calls; fantasy football; dictating conversational topics etc.) plus how he was making choices for both of them, was all way beyond the pale. Someone said here that she wants to be together but only on her terms and i don't see that -- I see Toby acting like he's basically single, not her partner. Giving her the "if we want to be a family that has to happen in SF" ultimatum? Wow. I'd leave him too.

He’s probably making at least two to three times more than Kate as a TA. This is pretty simple to me. If he goes to SF and it’s a good fit, then Kate needs to move to SF. And yes, it almost always comes down to money.

Did Toby find this thread?

How do you defend his not being willing to tell Kate the salary for the LA job he rejected, then, if it was a no-brainer for him to reject it? Why be so resistant to telling his wife about the offer in the first place, much less telling her the salary? And "kate needs to move to SF" sounds exactly like the ultimatum he gave her. I'm really surprised at people defending him when he is doing things most of us would find very problematic in real relationships, like starting the process to buy a specific house without telling her. He is not a partner any more, but she's supposed to do what he dictates she do, and move to SF, to be with someone who does not consult her on the most basic choices like jobs and houses?

No, I’m not Toby. And he did explain it wasn’t just about the money, it was how he felt with the job, fitting in. Kate never expressed that regarding her job. And I’m sure she could get a musical TA in SF. Did she think they were going to live apart forever?

His explaining how he felt about the job still does not excuse pr explain his making huge decisions with zero consultations with his wife. Nor does it excuse his giving her an ultimatum after he had the gall to make these big choices FOR her and for them as a couple. Even if "it's not just about the money," his love of the job still does not entitle him to make unilateral decisions. SF could have been great for them both, sure. But she's had no chance to feel any ownership of a choice to move to SF; he's been dictating it. Telling, not asking or consulting. The issue isnt money, or whether she could get a job there or how happy he already is there. The issue is his lack of any genuine desire to come to a joint decision like partners.

[Anonymous]

quote]Why did she wind up not going there?

Kate didn't go to Berklee because Jack died.She became very apathetic. Randall also changed his plans.He wanted to go to Howard,but changed to CMU to stay in Pittsburgh.

And,to the PP that said that Kate never expressed the same kind of satisfaction with her job,have you forgotten how excited she was when she first started teaching and would come home and try to tell Toby, but he'd get upset because he'd been home with the kids and hating it and so she stopped saying much beyond work was okay?

[Anonymous]

Moving to SF might be the right move. But, it was very disrespectful of their marriage not to even talk about it. Not to mention the LA offer. You together might have come to the decision that the job sucked or wouldn't provide enough or that Toby was so happy at the job it was worth it. But, he didn't trust Kate enough to talk to her or didn't think he had to run it buy her. Just like he didn't ask her if she wanted to walk. Or what she wanted to do.

I am pretty sure he took the SF job without asking her, too.

It is clear that Toby loves his family and is doing this to help them. He talks about them and everyone at work knows about them. BUT, he is not seeing how other actions (taking work calls all the time, not being able.to be at certain things because of work, leaving her so many times at the party) feel very selfish.

As for the weight, they totally covered the why - Jack died, Kate gave up on herself because she lost her biggest supporter..she got into an abusive relationship and got pregnant and had to have an abortion by herself. She then lived in the shadow of her.siblings who were succeeding. It took her 40 years but she is finally doing things for her. And Toby should be her biggest supporter in that and instead is ignoring those things because "he is sacrificing so much"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moving to SF might be the right move. But, it was very disrespectful of their marriage not to even talk about it. Not to mention the LA offer. You together might have come to the decision that the job sucked or wouldn't provide enough or that Toby was so happy at the job it was worth it. But, he didn't trust Kate enough to talk to her or didn't think he had to run it buy her. Just like he didn't ask her if she wanted to walk. Or what she wanted to do.

I am pretty sure he took the SF job without asking her, too.

It is clear that Toby loves his family and is doing this to help them. He talks about them and everyone at work knows about them. BUT, he is not seeing how other actions (taking work calls all the time, not being able.to be at certain things because of work, leaving her so many times at the party) feel very selfish.

As for the weight, they totally covered the why - Jack died, Kate gave up on herself because she lost her biggest supporter..she got into an abusive relationship and got pregnant and had to have an abortion by herself. She then lived in the shadow of her.siblings who were succeeding. It took her 40 years but she is finally doing things for her. And Toby should be her biggest supporter in that and instead is ignoring those things because "he is sacrificing so much"

I believe she told him to take the job in SF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moving to SF might be the right move. But, it was very disrespectful of their marriage not to even talk about it. Not to mention the LA offer. You together might have come to the decision that the job sucked or wouldn't provide enough or that Toby was so happy at the job it was worth it. But, he didn't trust Kate enough to talk to her or didn't think he had to run it buy her. Just like he didn't ask her if she wanted to walk. Or what she wanted to do.

I am pretty sure he took the SF job without asking her, too.

It is clear that Toby loves his family and is doing this to help them. He talks about them and everyone at work knows about them. BUT, he is not seeing how other actions (taking work calls all the time, not being able.to be at certain things because of work, leaving her so many times at the party) feel very selfish.

As for the weight, they totally covered the why - Jack died, Kate gave up on herself because she lost her biggest supporter..she got into an abusive relationship and got pregnant and had to have an abortion by herself. She then lived in the shadow of her.siblings who were succeeding. It took her 40 years but she is finally doing things for her. And Toby should be her biggest supporter in that and instead is ignoring those things because "he is sacrificing so much"

I agree with much of what you wrote, except for the bolded. I really respected him for not asking her if she wanted to walk up that incredibly steep hill. I know *I* wouldn't have wanted to! He didn't want to put her on the spot like that, so he called for a Lyft instead. Made perfect sense to me. Even Kate was extremely unsure if she could make it up that hill when she was out by herself - she certainly wouldn't have wanted to be huffing and puffing in front of Toby, on their way to a nice party! So I gave him kudos for not making a big deal out of that and just arranging a ride instead.

[Anonymous]

Agree. No one wants to show up sweaty to a party.

[Anonymous]

“Where do the Children Play” by Cat Stevens.

[Anonymous]

This episode is boring me to tears. I started a few minutes late so I haven't finished, but the big reveal of why Rebecca didn't make Randall in charge of her medical decisions was something I already knew. Not like spoilered I knew but it was what I (and probably many others) had guessed.

But, hoo boy, that Randall and Malik moment. That honestly has me in tears. And Deja, "You're my dad." Oh man.

[Anonymous]

Randall has been influential since a boy- he knows”tag youre it” would get Kevin and rest of the family in the pool. It’s not always obvious, but his people smarts is a huge skill that will serve him well in politics.

[Anonymous]

Randall is too smart to go into national politics.