How much to give as bar mitzvah gift?

[Anonymous]

DS is attending first bar mitzvah. Only DS is invited to the party. What is a typical gift amount? I would expect it should be much more than $30-40 bday gift, but was not sure how much more. I would not say the parents are our close friends, but they are a very sweet family and we enjoyed their company at sports games when our kids were younger.

[Anonymous]

Do $36 - Bar and Bat Mitzvah gifts are in multiples of 18, and 36 is usually what we give if it's not family or a close family friend.

[Anonymous]

$36 is cheap and basically the lowest amount someone should give. My kids never give less than $72.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$36 is cheap and basically the lowest amount someone should give. My kids never give less than $72.

I am PP. This seriously depends on the area and obviously, that area's income level. My DD got a LOT of checks for $18, and that was seen as normal where we were living at the time.

[Anonymous]

Meet in the middle. Check for $50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meet in the middle. Check for $50.

Did you miss the 18 part, honey?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$36 is cheap and basically the lowest amount someone should give. My kids never give less than $72.

$32 is not cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$36 is cheap and basically the lowest amount someone should give. My kids never give less than $72.

$32 is not cheap.

$36 is not cheap, $32 on the other hand....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meet in the middle. Check for $50.

Did you miss the 18 part, honey?

The $18 increments don’t matter. That is a tradition but by no means a requirement nor expected.

[Anonymous]

The same you would give your DDs Catholic friends who are making confirmation / typically $100. Or whatever the $18 rule would be.

[Anonymous]

We're Jewish. Our family would never expect anyone to give more than what they were comfortable with. Like a wedding or birthday party, this is a celebration, not a money/gift grab although there are always some who treat it that way. I would especially never expect students (or their parents) to give large sums of money - $18 or $36 is fine.

[Anonymous]

For those of you thinking that $36 is cheap....if you're child is being invited to Bar/Bat mitzvah's it means it's the year. My kid gets invited to at least 2 a month, sometimes more, and sometimes multiple ones on the same day.

Yes, the bar/bat mitzvah is a big deal. But I cannot write multiple checks of $72 or $100 per month.

For family members, I give more. But for classmates, I give $18 if I've only heard their name in passing, $36 if my kid is actually friends with the kid, and more if we, as a family are friends with the kids family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you thinking that $36 is cheap....if you're child is being invited to Bar/Bat mitzvah's it means it's the year. My kid gets invited to at least 2 a month, sometimes more, and sometimes multiple ones on the same day.

Yes, the bar/bat mitzvah is a big deal. But I cannot write multiple checks of $72 or $100 per month.

For family members, I give more. But for classmates, I give $18 if I've only heard their name in passing, $36 if my kid is actually friends with the kid, and more if we, as a family are friends with the kids family.

+1 to all of this. If we had to write a $100 check for each one, I would probably have my kid skip going. I think the kids would rather have their friends show up than skip the event for lack of funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're Jewish. Our family would never expect anyone to give more than what they were comfortable with. Like a wedding or birthday party, this is a celebration, not a money/gift grab although there are always some who treat it that way. I would especially never expect students (or their parents) to give large sums of money - $18 or $36 is fine.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$36 is cheap and basically the lowest amount someone should give. My kids never give less than $72.

I'm glad your family has so much money, and I'm sorry you have so little experience with the wider world.

OP - $36 is at the low end but fine if you don't really know the kid. I generally do $52 or $72 if I do know the kid (more than in passing) but more money if we are all invited and/or I know the family well.