How much to give as bar mitzvah gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. All you people who can give a lot of money should meet teenage latinas having their quinceañeras. At my cousins quince, she got $700 in total!

Jewish people are as a whole much more wealthy than the Hispanic population. So of course Jewish kids are racking it in . This is just the beginning of a whole litany of things that will be put in motion that will set a Jewish person up for a very financially successful uccessful life.

I work in a heavily Jewish profession and I see this day in and day out. Good for them! Im taking notes and will take care of my kids and my kids kids as best I can.

And here comes the antisemites.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

We usually do $324 (18 x 18)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. All you people who can give a lot of money should meet teenage latinas having their quinceañeras. At my cousins quince, she got $700 in total!

Ha, that's funny that you say that. We went to a family friend's quinceanera (we're Jewish) and gave $200 (family of 5). A few days later, they were telling us that we gave their daughter way too much money and that no one gives that much for quinceaneras. What do we know? We had a lot of fun, though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same you would give your DDs Catholic friends who are making confirmation / typically $100. Or whatever the $18 rule would be.

Wow, I would be seriously put off if someone gave my kid $100 for Confirmation. Good grief, you don't make a profit from bring confirmed. That's just gross. Donate that to Catholic Charities right away. Grandma may give a statue of your patron saint but that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We usually do $324 (18 x 18)

I like that. Also 13 x 18 for $234.

[Anonymous]

Oh,great
Another thread where entitled hypocrites call people cheap!
Op,I suggest about $18 to $52 or a gift card.Don't feel forced to give so much money if you don't feel comfortable spending that much.

[Anonymous]

$36 is reasonable for a school friend but $72 or more would be better if whole family attends.

[Anonymous]

I was invited to a bar Mitzvah and I only met the parents twice and never met the boy. How much should I give

[Anonymous]

I'm with others that $36 is plenty for a kid that you are not close to. This is one of those times that it's nice to be a member of a minority group assumed to be poor. I know that if my kid gets an invite, it's because his presence is desired and not because someone thinks they're going to get a big present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you thinking that $36 is cheap....if you're child is being invited to Bar/Bat mitzvah's it means it's the year. My kid gets invited to at least 2 a month, sometimes more, and sometimes multiple ones on the same day.

Yes, the bar/bat mitzvah is a big deal. But I cannot write multiple checks of $72 or $100 per month.

For family members, I give more. But for classmates, I give $18 if I've only heard their name in passing, $36 if my kid is actually friends with the kid, and more if we, as a family are friends with the kids family.

That is an entirely reasonable approach.

[Anonymous]

If you’re giving $36, is it better as check or cash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re giving $36, is it better as check or cash?

check is better because most of the time the money will be saved for college.

[Anonymous]

Is it ok to give 144?
Close friend, whole family invited.

[Anonymous]

There is no wrong amount. My DSs was this spring, and most friends did 54, some close friends did 108. We did 54 all year (more if entire family was invited) and it was close to $600 for 7th grade friends (we did 54 all year too). Family (my parents generation) gave 200-250

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it ok to give 144?
Close friend, whole family invited.

Yes, that is fine. Give from the heart. They will be happy you made the effort to attend.