How much to give as bar mitzvah gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids went to TONS of bar/bar mitzvahs, sometimes 2-3 in a day. No way were we giving $54/72, etc. every week. These are not weddings and are not meant to be money grabs (at least, by people who really understand them)! We tended to give a $25 gift card, $36 if it was someone my kid knew better and $54 for closer friends. I live in MoCo and that range at our (wealthy-ish) middle school was normal.

I have very social twins who were easily invited to 40-50 of these. I gave $3) if one twin attended, $54 of both. That added up to thousands of dollars. We're not Jewish.

For those of you hosting, would your rather a kid say no or give a smaller amount? Genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same you would give your DDs Catholic friends who are making confirmation / typically $100. Or whatever the $18 rule would be.

Wow, I would be seriously put off if someone gave my kid $100 for Confirmation. Good grief, you don't make a profit from bring confirmed. That's just gross. Donate that to Catholic Charities right away. Grandma may give a statue of your patron saint but that's it.

Yeah, people don't give money for confirmation.

You know any Italian Americans? Because a common diss to call someone overly frugal is to say they "still have their confirmation money".

Because you get money from your godmother/godfather, aunts/uncles and grand-parents... otherwise you get the equivalent of a birthday gift from friends