Dating and Feminism - Question for Men

[Anonymous]

Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

How much does it matter what political stance she has?
Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

What are your immediate reactions?

[Anonymous]

My first thought is, is she hot?

Then I wonder if she hates men

[Anonymous]

A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

[Anonymous]

*hear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

Violent feminist protests? Where do I sign up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first thought is, is she hot?

Then I wonder if she hates men

Nailed it

Third thought---how much of a pain in this ass will this woman be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

Interesting perspective on a woman "coming out" as a feminist. I, for example, am a feminist and have always been, but I see no need to announce it unless prompted ("Are you a feminist?" "Why, yes.") I'm very liberal in terms of policies I support, am radically pro-queer and am feminist in my political views, but am more conservative in my dating/personal life.

IME a woman who announces she's a feminist is a PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

I call bullshit. No way is the lunatic fringe of feminism interested in a milksop like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

Interesting perspective on a woman "coming out" as a feminist. I, for example, am a feminist and have always been, but I see no need to announce it unless prompted ("Are you a feminist?" "Why, yes.") I'm very liberal in terms of policies I support, am radically pro-queer and am feminist in my political views, but am more conservative in my dating/personal life.

IME a woman who announces she's a feminist is a PITA.

PP here. Yeah. I used the term coming out because I've never had it just casually mentioned to me. A few months back, I met a grad student for drinks at an off campus bar. We had been set up be a mutual friend. She brought along a list of questions as an icebreaker. She thought it would be fun, I guess? But the questions were, like,

How are you working in your personal and business life to disassemble patriarchal oppression?

And

What is your view on intersectional black-queer gender theory as explained by whoever?

It was the most uncomfortable date of my life, and I once had a family member set me up on a blind date with a gay guy at a very gay club (I guess I was sending some signals), when I was 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

I call bullshit. No way is the lunatic fringe of feminism interested in a milksop like you.

I'm, okay. As I said, I'm not exactly right-wing. When I was more heavily involved with campus activities I was a director at the student health center and I ran a chapter of reblaw. You meet fairly progressive types on those circles. I also go on a lot of dates. It's not like this is every woman I've met or anything. It's been like one in thirty, if that. And that is from an already leftist and progressive group of women. FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP here. Yeah. I used the term coming out because I've never had it just casually mentioned to me. A few months back, I met a grad student for drinks at an off campus bar. We had been set up be a mutual friend. She brought along a list of questions as an icebreaker. She thought it would be fun, I guess? But the questions were, like,

How are you working in your personal and business life to disassemble patriarchal oppression?

And

What is your view on intersectional black-queer gender theory as explained by whoever?

It was the most uncomfortable date of my life, and I once had a family member set me up on a blind date with a gay guy at a very gay club (I guess I was sending some signals), when I was 17.

You gotta be trolling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

I call bullshit. No way is the lunatic fringe of feminism interested in a milksop like you.

NP - do you have personal experience of going on a date with a feminist? no, then piss off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

I call bullshit. No way is the lunatic fringe of feminism interested in a milksop like you.

NP - do you have personal experience of going on a date with a feminist? no, then piss off.

I am a feminist, and move in feminist circles. No one is violently protesting (link to news article about this, please) or creating art with their menstrual blood. This is just typical MRA dog whistle language.

[Anonymous]

Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

She has a chip on shoulder and she wants to tell you(any random male really) how you have oppressed her. Many times there is some issue(real or imagined) of how she was wronged because she was a women. Usually its just life not working out like she thought it should. She will be a white, wealthy(or upper middle class) and very depended on her family ie father/mother paid for college, her apartment, cell phone, insurance, car, etc.

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

If they go out of there way to says they are not a feminist? I think they have had a bad experience with feminism. There are a lot of feminists(like everyone else) who will backstab anyone who gets in their way.

How much does it matter what political stance she has?

Don’t care as long as they have an identity outside of a political party.

Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

Those terms are meaningless.

What are your immediate reactions?

I think she has some problems/issues she is working on. I avoid eye contact, agree with what ever she says and move along.

[Anonymous]

40 y/o male here.

I've never heard a woman say she's feminist or not feminist.

Just be yourself without putting a label on it.