Dating and Feminism - Question for Men

[Anonymous]

Man here- I'm pro-choice, support equal pay for equal work and basically feel men and women should be treated equally. I'd happily date a woman who feels the same way. I wouldn't want to date a woman who made me feel men are guilty until proven innocent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

This is why women tell men they are feminists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first thought is, is she hot?

Then I wonder if she hates men

Nailed it

Third thought---how much of a pain in this ass will this woman be

Actually announcing she's a feminist suggests she feels the need to lecture someone, and I wouldn't want to be lectured by some stranger.

[Anonymous]

My first thought: "that's nice, sweetie."

My first spoken response: "how do you feel about alimony?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

She has a chip on shoulder and she wants to tell you(any random male really) how you have oppressed her. Many times there is some issue(real or imagined) of how she was wronged because she was a women. Usually its just life not working out like she thought it should. She will be a white, wealthy(or upper middle class) and very depended on her family ie father/mother paid for college, her apartment, cell phone, insurance, car, etc.

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

If they go out of there way to says they are not a feminist? I think they have had a bad experience with feminism. There are a lot of feminists(like everyone else) who will backstab anyone who gets in their way.

How much does it matter what political stance she has?

Don’t care as long as they have an identity outside of a political party.

Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

Those terms are meaningless.

What are your immediate reactions?

I think she has some problems/issues she is working on. I avoid eye contact, agree with what ever she says and move along.

This is very accurate, per my experience as a liberal guy

[Anonymous]

I would never date a man who didn’t identify as a feminist.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I’ve ever said I’m a feminist without being asked. Of course I’m a feminist. We all should be for equality between genders. But it’s not like I go around announcing it. I let it speak through my actions and language. I hang around people who feel similarly. I wouldn’t want to date someone who doesn’t believe in equal pay or feels women should be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. (If a couple wants that, go for it, but no one should choose for others.)

Generally, I find questions like this to be odd because I don’t think most feminists go around saying “I’m a feminist.”

[Anonymous]

I view her as a pump-n-dump, nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first thought is, is she hot?

Then I wonder if she hates men

she doesnt shave down there. so she is hot.

old timer

[Anonymous]

What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist:
she is gay.

What do you think when a woman says she isn't a feminist:
waiting for the "but... ".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

She will be shrill, annoying, argumentative. But she's probably not hot anyway so who cares what her political views are.

Anonymous wrote:What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

She has probably internalized the feminist worldview anyway.

Anonymous wrote:How much does it matter what political stance she has?

As long as she doesn't talk about them, I don't care what they are.

Anonymous wrote:Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

Is she pleasant, agreeable, and willing to f*ck me and give me spontaneous BJs? Yes? Then we're good regardless of her political views. No? NEXT!

[Anonymous]

Feminists give great head. It's a fact.

Men that take societal feminist gripes personally are intellectually stilted. Honey, it's not you that created male privilege. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at my paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here- I'm pro-choice, support equal pay for equal work and basically feel men and women should be treated equally. I'd happily date a woman who feels the same way. I wouldn't want to date a woman who made me feel men are guilty until proven innocent.

Typical liberal. Whines about gun control but supports hundreds of thousands of innocent babies murdered by abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feminists give great head. It's a fact.

Men that take societal feminist gripes personally are intellectually stilted. Honey, it's not you that created male privilege. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at my paycheck.

Feminists don’t give good head. They believe it’s a disgusting act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve ever said I’m a feminist without being asked. Of course I’m a feminist. We all should be for equality between genders.

It's funny that you think being a feminist automatically means you support gender equality. If someone says they are a men's rights activist, do you automatically assume they are for gender equality?