Dating and Feminism - Question for Men

[Anonymous]

I've never had a guy ask me whether I was/am a liberal or a feminist. And frankly, most women, even the strongest feminists I know, would never think to bring it up as the first thing about them in a dating environment.

Not a single guy will reject an attractive woman if she identifies as one, so while you may not like feminists and what they stand for, you are all full of it if you say you will run the other way. Maybe for long term relationships, conservative guys will want someone like themselves (as does pretty much everyone!) but not for casual dating.

My husband, who is a moderate, doesn't necessarily agree with all my beliefs, but he respects them.

[Anonymous]

I will point out the number of responses, clearly written by men, that immediately discuss sex and blowjobs when asked a question about feminism as an idealogical belief. These responses also range from mildly inappropriate to violent, as noted by the throat comment above.

Guys, do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will point out the number of responses, clearly written by men, that immediately discuss sex and blowjobs when asked a question about feminism as an idealogical belief. These responses also range from mildly inappropriate to violent, as noted by the throat comment above.

Guys, do better.

Guys who viscerally hate feminists are f#cking psychotic. They are next Nikolas Cruzs of the world. Seriously.

The vast majority of normal men would agree with the basic tenets of feminism even if they do not personally identify with the label "feminist." Nor do they care if an otherwise reasonable woman identifies as "feminist." It's just not something that takes up a lot of our mental energy, unlike some of the psychos posting here.

Sincerely,
Middle-of-the-Road Straight White Man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

How much does it matter what political stance she has?
Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

What are your immediate reactions?

Male here. I actually was immersed in women's studies in my undergraduate years. So, if I found a woman who announced herself as a feminist, I'd genuinely be curious what she meant by this. In my experience, most people who use the term (men and women) don't really understand what it means or what the women's movement was/is about. They don't know much about liberation theology. Most have probably never read bell hooks or Gloria Steinem or Virginia Woolf (or Naomi Wolf, for that matter). If they can carry on a conversation about the writings of Simone de Beavoir or Alice Walker, I'd be impressed. We could have an intellectual discussion. And it would be attractive.

If they think "feminism" is about just about "choice" (and I don't mean in the abortion sense, although that's a big part of it), I'd conclude they don't really understand the meaning of the concept. Feminism wasn't about "choosing" to stay home as a new mother, for example. It was about economic equality and empowerment.

Similarly, if they consider "feminism" a dirty word but their reasoning seems reactionary or they don't know WHY beyond it just threatens some provincial and conservative paradigm, I'd be turned off.

I realize I'm an exception, however. Most men probably don't see things this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had a guy ask me whether I was/am a liberal or a feminist. And frankly, most women, even the strongest feminists I know, would never think to bring it up as the first thing about them in a dating environment.

Not a single guy will reject an attractive woman if she identifies as one, so while you may not like feminists and what they stand for, you are all full of it if you say you will run the other way. Maybe for long term relationships, conservative guys will want someone like themselves (as does pretty much everyone!) but not for casual dating.

My husband, who is a moderate, doesn't necessarily agree with all my beliefs, but he respects them.

LOL sure...I guess that the privilege of being a women. Oh all men will fall at my feet. They are all just simple animals who will follow any woman around. It does not mater that she hates all men and thinks you are a rapist. He will spend money on me and great me feel great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these bitter lonely men; it'd be sad if it weren't so funny yet true.

FTFY

[Anonymous]

Who are these guys responding?? What circles do they run in? Is it really possible they don't have feminists as friends and wives and girlfriends?? This is bizarre to me, as I have to search my brain to think of anyone (man or woman) I know who is NOT a feminist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I view her as a pump-n-dump, nothing more.

Thanks, pp! You just proved the feminists right! Good job.

How?

Toxic masculinity. Pretty gross. A legend in your own mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had a guy ask me whether I was/am a liberal or a feminist. And frankly, most women, even the strongest feminists I know, would never think to bring it up as the first thing about them in a dating environment.

Not a single guy will reject an attractive woman if she identifies as one, so while you may not like feminists and what they stand for, you are all full of it if you say you will run the other way. Maybe for long term relationships, conservative guys will want someone like themselves (as does pretty much everyone!) but not for casual dating.

My husband, who is a moderate, doesn't necessarily agree with all my beliefs, but he respects them.

LOL sure...I guess that the privilege of being a women. Oh all men will fall at my feet. They are all just simple animals who will follow any woman around. It does not mater that she hates all men and thinks you are a rapist. He will spend money on me and great me feel great!

It's ironic that you're telling us feminists hate men and yet use such angry, hateful words to describe feminists. I don't hate men, nor do I know any feminists who do. The feminists I know are married working mothers such as myself, who do not think their husbands and sons are "animals" or "rapists". Why on earth would someone marry and make a life with someone they consider an animal or a rapist? What we all have in common is that we believe we are equal to men and should be treated as such in all circumstances. That is the core of the feminism I embrace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these guys responding?? What circles do they run in? Is it really possible they don't have feminists as friends and wives and girlfriends?? This is bizarre to me, as I have to search my brain to think of anyone (man or woman) I know who is NOT a feminist.

I agree. Lots of random loser guys on here looking to "engage." Mr. Pump-and-dump-her gave me a chuckle. As if.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will point out the number of responses, clearly written by men, that immediately discuss sex and blowjobs when asked a question about feminism as an idealogical belief. These responses also range from mildly inappropriate to violent, as noted by the throat comment above.

Guys, do better.

Guys who viscerally hate feminists are f#cking psychotic. They are next Nikolas Cruzs of the world. Seriously.

The vast majority of normal men would agree with the basic tenets of feminism even if they do not personally identify with the label "feminist." Nor do they care if an otherwise reasonable woman identifies as "feminist." It's just not something that takes up a lot of our mental energy, unlike some of the psychos posting here.

Sincerely,
Middle-of-the-Road Straight White Man

You do realize that you are the problem? You(white male) are oppressing women and part of the patriarchy. There is a more qualified woman who should have your job and salary. I love how people like you think you are not the problem. I guess when we talk about white male privilege its not about you because????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I view her as a pump-n-dump, nothing more.

LOL. My son does too. He wouldn't bring one home either.

Wow, you raised a real winner--a man who disrespects women and laughs about it with Mom. Guess the apple didn't fall far from the misogynistic tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will point out the number of responses, clearly written by men, that immediately discuss sex and blowjobs when asked a question about feminism as an idealogical belief. These responses also range from mildly inappropriate to violent, as noted by the throat comment above.

Guys, do better.

Guys who viscerally hate feminists are f#cking psychotic. They are next Nikolas Cruzs of the world. Seriously.

The vast majority of normal men would agree with the basic tenets of feminism even if they do not personally identify with the label "feminist." Nor do they care if an otherwise reasonable woman identifies as "feminist." It's just not something that takes up a lot of our mental energy, unlike some of the psychos posting here.

Sincerely,
Middle-of-the-Road Straight White Man

You do realize that you are the problem? You(white male) are oppressing women and part of the patriarchy. There is a more qualified woman who should have your job and salary. I love how people like you think you are not the problem. I guess when we talk about white male privilege its not about you because????

Such a pedestrian response. You bore me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I view her as a pump-n-dump, nothing more.

Thanks, pp! You just proved the feminists right! Good job.

How?

Are you a man? It is pretty self explanatory. But, I will try. If the stereotype of feminist saying that men are awful and only want to have sex with you. The guys have said hey that's not true and then this guy says I just "pump-n-dump" which proves the feminists first point: All men are jerks and ONLY want SEX.

Now do you get it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

How much does it matter what political stance she has?
Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

What are your immediate reactions?

Immediate reaction is that she's either clueless or a demagogue.

Then, when the check arrives, I ask her if she's planning to cover it full or better half half.

Wow! I don't think you go on many second dates. If you invited me to a date, than you pay. If I invited you than I pay. It is pretty simple. You shouldn't use feminism to be a cheap bastard.