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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up. [/quote]

Interesting perspective on a woman "coming out" as a feminist. I, for example, am a feminist and have always been, but I see no need to announce it unless prompted ("Are you a feminist?" "Why, yes.") I'm very liberal in terms of policies I support, am radically pro-queer and am feminist in my political views, but am more conservative in my dating/personal life.

IME a woman who announces she's a feminist is a PITA. [/quote]

PP here. Yeah. I used the term coming out because I've never had it just casually mentioned to me. A few months back, I met a grad student for drinks at an off campus bar. We had been set up be a mutual friend. She brought along a list of questions as an icebreaker. She thought it would be fun, I guess? But the questions were, like,

How are you working in your personal and business life to disassemble patriarchal oppression?

And

What is your view on intersectional black-queer gender theory as explained by whoever?

It was the most uncomfortable date of my life, and I once had a family member set me up on a blind date with a gay guy at a very gay club (I guess I was sending some signals), when I was 17. [/quote]

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