Dating and Feminism - Question for Men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminists give great head. It's a fact.

Men that take societal feminist gripes personally are intellectually stilted. Honey, it's not you that created male privilege. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at my paycheck.

Feminists don’t give good head. They believe it’s a disgusting act.

Speak for yourself.

[Anonymous]

All men and women *should* identify as feminists if you believe in equality between men and women.

It doesn’t mean you hate men. That is Republican brain washing bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminists give great head. It's a fact.

Men that take societal feminist gripes personally are intellectually stilted. Honey, it's not you that created male privilege. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at my paycheck.

Feminists don’t give good head. They believe it’s a disgusting act.

Speak for yourself.

I give in order to get. I don’t mind it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

How much does it matter what political stance she has?
Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

What are your immediate reactions?

Does she believe in equal opportunities for women? Great, as so do I!

Will she then spend the next hour detailing just how her ex is a POS?

[Anonymous]

You(white male) are oppressing women and part of the patriarchy. There is a more qualified woman who should have your job and salary.

Is a guy still part of the patriarchy if he doesn't attend any of the meetings? Cause if you feel you're being oppressed merely by white men walking around and breathing, you will need to leave the area to stop being oppressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had a guy ask me whether I was/am a liberal or a feminist. And frankly, most women, even the strongest feminists I know, would never think to bring it up as the first thing about them in a dating environment.

Not a single guy will reject an attractive woman if she identifies as one, so while you may not like feminists and what they stand for, you are all full of it if you say you will run the other way. Maybe for long term relationships, conservative guys will want someone like themselves (as does pretty much everyone!) but not for casual dating.

My husband, who is a moderate, doesn't necessarily agree with all my beliefs, but he respects them.

LOL sure...I guess that the privilege of being a women. Oh all men will fall at my feet. They are all just simple animals who will follow any woman around. It does not mater that she hates all men and thinks you are a rapist. He will spend money on me and great me feel great!

It's ironic that you're telling us feminists hate men and yet use such angry, hateful words to describe feminists. I don't hate men, nor do I know any feminists who do. The feminists I know are married working mothers such as myself, who do not think their husbands and sons are "animals" or "rapists". Why on earth would someone marry and make a life with someone they consider an animal or a rapist? What we all have in common is that we believe we are equal to men and should be treated as such in all circumstances. That is the core of the feminism I embrace.

I have been involved in feminism most likely since before you born. Feminists want equality of opportunity but not the responsibility that go with it. Ask around. How many self described feminists think they should be drafted and serve in the combat arms(the people who kill and get killed)? Oh they will say if a woman wants the opportunity she should have it, but a woman should not be forced to do it. By default, only men should be forced to do that. How about the little things like having your spouse be the SAHP, splitting a check on a date, being responsible for the income and health insurance of the family, having to work a very demanding job while your spouse does volunteer work or takes a low pressure job? How many women want that side of equality? Read through this board. You will not find many women who want that type of responsibility. Feminism is not about equality of the sexes. It is about women being able to choose how much responsibility they want to take. Most women would be very unhappy with true equality of the sexes.

Some women come to feminism hating men or evolve over time into hating men. If you have been around feminists for any amount of time, you will find them. So you really can not say feminism is not about hating men because for some women it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All men and women *should* identify as feminists if you believe in equality between men and women.

It doesn’t mean you hate men. That is Republican brain washing bs.

Sorry, you are wrong.

You are mixing the obvious (yes, both genders should have same rights) with the obsessive-paranoid feminist or "masculinist" who "defends" one gender by trashing the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

How much does it matter what political stance she has?
Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

What are your immediate reactions?

Immediate reaction is that she's either clueless or a demagogue.

Then, when the check arrives, I ask her if she's planning to cover it full or better half half.

Wow! I don't think you go on many second dates. If you invited me to a date, than you pay. If I invited you than I pay. It is pretty simple. You shouldn't use feminism to be a cheap bastard.

Dated very well and happily married, sweetie

A real feminist doesn't believe in all that traditional and sexist dating nonsense, so this is a great way to put them to the test.

[Anonymous]

I would never date a man who didn't identify as a feminist.

And this is coming from being raised in a Muslim family, where my Muslim father was a solid equality supporting feminist, who understood and denounced the fact that women & girls were treated unfairly (even in the US), and regularly got the short end of the stick much too often - and usually as the default.

If you're a man and not a feminist, I'm going to assume you have some deep insecurity/value issues that step much further than gender issues, and stay far away from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had a guy ask me whether I was/am a liberal or a feminist. And frankly, most women, even the strongest feminists I know, would never think to bring it up as the first thing about them in a dating environment.

Not a single guy will reject an attractive woman if she identifies as one, so while you may not like feminists and what they stand for, you are all full of it if you say you will run the other way. Maybe for long term relationships, conservative guys will want someone like themselves (as does pretty much everyone!) but not for casual dating.

My husband, who is a moderate, doesn't necessarily agree with all my beliefs, but he respects them.

LOL sure...I guess that the privilege of being a women. Oh all men will fall at my feet. They are all just simple animals who will follow any woman around. It does not mater that she hates all men and thinks you are a rapist. He will spend money on me and great me feel great!

It's ironic that you're telling us feminists hate men and yet use such angry, hateful words to describe feminists. I don't hate men, nor do I know any feminists who do. The feminists I know are married working mothers such as myself, who do not think their husbands and sons are "animals" or "rapists". Why on earth would someone marry and make a life with someone they consider an animal or a rapist? What we all have in common is that we believe we are equal to men and should be treated as such in all circumstances. That is the core of the feminism I embrace.

I have been involved in feminism most likely since before you born. Feminists want equality of opportunity but not the responsibility that go with it. Ask around. How many self described feminists think they should be drafted and serve in the combat arms(the people who kill and get killed)? Oh they will say if a woman wants the opportunity she should have it, but a woman should not be forced to do it. By default, only men should be forced to do that. How about the little things like having your spouse be the SAHP, splitting a check on a date, being responsible for the income and health insurance of the family, having to work a very demanding job while your spouse does volunteer work or takes a low pressure job? How many women want that side of equality? Read through this board. You will not find many women who want that type of responsibility. Feminism is not about equality of the sexes. It is about women being able to choose how much responsibility they want to take. Most women would be very unhappy with true equality of the sexes.

Some women come to feminism hating men or evolve over time into hating men. If you have been around feminists for any amount of time, you will find them. So you really can not say feminism is not about hating men because for some women it is.

I don't think ANYONE should be drafted, men or women. No one should be forced to serve. Who actually thinks people should be forced to serve?

The idea is, these choices - which spouse stays at home, earns more, or takes a more demanding job, etc. - should be decided within a family. They should not be forced upon a woman by society, as they currently are in many places and workplaces. As you mentioned, even here on DCUM, I see a lot of people who believe the woman's place is at home raising babies, who guilt and berate working mothers, and who talk negatively about SAH fathers, saying how "they aren't really men". In fact even women who choose not to have children are berated, called selfish and told there's something wrong with them. This is the kind of thing that I as a feminist oppose - forced roles, judgment and societal pressure, rather than support for choosing the roles that work best for each particular family.

On my first date with my husband, he paid for dinner and then I paid for our cab and drinks/dessert when we went to a nearby bar. I'm not the exception - pretty sure that was the norm with everyone I know. Maybe it's a generational thing - we're at the tail end of Gen X. All my friends work, too, and not at "low pressure volunteer jobs". They are attorneys, CPAs, IT consultants, etc. My own mother was always the breadwinner and made double what my dad made (they're still happily married, btw). The DCUM crowd with their million plus dollar homes, 7 figure HHI and trophy wives who "volunteer" is not the norm.

Sure, some feminists (and some women) probably hate men. Guess what? Some men hate women. You can see it from many of these threads, even in this one. Should I then assume, by your logic, that because some men hate women, it means all men hate women? Of course not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men - What do you think when a woman says she is a feminist?

What do you think if a woman says she isn't a feminist?

How much does it matter what political stance she has?
Liberal who isn't a feminist or conservative who isn't a feminist or liberal who is a feminist or conservative who is a feminist?

What are your immediate reactions?

Immediate reaction is that she's either clueless or a demagogue.

Then, when the check arrives, I ask her if she's planning to cover it full or better half half.

Wow! I don't think you go on many second dates. If you invited me to a date, than you pay. If I invited you than I pay. It is pretty simple. You shouldn't use feminism to be a cheap bastard.

Dated very well and happily married, sweetie

A real feminist doesn't believe in all that traditional and sexist dating nonsense, so this is a great way to put them to the test.

Wait, did I miss out on some kind of guidebook on how to be a "real" feminist? Am I now disqualified from feminism for dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All men and women *should* identify as feminists if you believe in equality between men and women.

Equality is a false and evil concept. Nobody should believe in it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I seriously doubt your pussy hat is attractive to men LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. Now, it matters.

I don't care if a woman agrees with the sort of watered down media line of what feminism is (equal pay, protection from harassment and assault, and all that). I am in favor of all that stuff myself.

But, ever since I was in college, and since then, a woman "coming out" as a feminist on the first or second date has been a big red flag to me. I've let it play out, and it almost always results in going on a few dates with someone who turns out to be way too out there for me. By that I am talking about violent protests and period blood paintings out there. And I have found that physical looks and dress don't offer any clue on this. She could look like a librarian or like she just left the circus. The minute she says she's a feminist or asks me if I'm an ally or something like that, I start looking for the door.

FYI I am a 27-year-old, college educated guy who is moderately liberal.

So, I guess, when I now here the statement, I know this date is going nowhere. But, I'm nice about it. I still chat and pay for coffee. I just don't follow up.

This is 100% right-on. My mother calls herself a "feminist," but would be horrified by what the term often connotes on college campuses these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All men and women *should* identify as feminists if you believe in equality between men and women.

That's an incomplete and misleading definition of what "feminism" means these days. Equality of what? Opportunity? Defined how? Results? Why are men so overrepresented in coal mining, garbage collection, construction? If that isn't a sign of "inequality", why not?