sleeping with the boss but can't end it

[Anonymous]

A little unusual, but a few months ago I went to a trial outside the city (i work at a law firm and I am a male associate) with my boss (the partner). The trial would last a week. The first couple of days it was all professional, but it was after a breakthrough in the case that we went out with local counsel. We had a few drinks and me and the partner took a cab back to our hotel room. She started fondling me. I think she is attractive for her age and I really respect her (brilliant mind, but kind). Anyway, one thing led to another, and we spent basically the rest of the trip sleeping with each other.

She is not my direct partner in charge, but one of three i work with a lot. I am 31 and she is 45 (i think). She is married while I had been dating someone for the past 3 months.
Anyway, since coming back, it's been a bit strange. She's came over a few times. We've gone on local trips with each other (cabin in blue ridge)
she constantly texts, and its pretty naughty stuff. But she basically gets jealous when i go out on dates etc and wants me to stop.
I would say she is in an unhappy marriage. She thinks her husband has cheated (also biglaw partner) in the past and perhaps may still be. He also treats her like crap (which i have witnesses just from the emails she's shown me. He talks to her like he would an associate. I think she loves the fact that i think she is smart and attractive and compliment her constantly.

But no the problem is that i am not sure how to end it with her. I don't want to be her toy and i don't want restrictions of my dating life.
I am going to be up for partner soon, and she has a considerable say in the process. I don't want to burn any bridges but i don't want to be locked in this love triangle.

[Anonymous]

Dude. You've gotten yourself into a sticky situation. No advice but good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude. You've gotten yourself into a sticky situation. No advice but good luck!

+1 No easy way out. You just have to be honest with her, in a kind and respectful way. And deal wirh whatever comes.

[Anonymous]

I'd lay very low on your own dating scene. Keep it out of the office for sure. Perhaps break it off in some dignified, chivalrous way. That you care about her, want the best for her, and that you don't think continuing this relationship is fair to her. Stay strong and stop sleeping/sexting/having personal conversations with her. Let her find someone else to focus on and replace you with.

You're in a super tough spot, though. I'd stay as above-board as possible from now on.

[Anonymous]

wow...31 and up for partner soon. FML.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to leave the firm TBH. You cannot unring that bell.

[Anonymous]

You wait until you make partner and then break it off, obviously. DUHHH

[Anonymous]

I love it. I mean sucks to be you. She's clearly using you. Probably doesn't get much attention from her husband, who is likely sleeping around. She's smart so its intimidating to most men, and at her age, she is basically dying to feel some love again.

I don't know your back story and why she chose you, but you seem like a good person that treats her right. That may have been enough. What's up with the chick you've been dating for 3 months. Did you break it off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You wait until you make partner and then break it off, obviously. DUHHH

This. Haven't you ever read any best sellers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to leave the firm TBH. You cannot unring that bell.

+1 I can't see this ending well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little unusual, but a few months ago I went to a trial outside the city (i work at a law firm and I am a male associate) with my boss (the partner). The trial would last a week. The first couple of days it was all professional, but it was after a breakthrough in the case that we went out with local counsel. We had a few drinks and me and the partner took a cab back to our hotel room. She started fondling me. I think she is attractive for her age and I really respect her (brilliant mind, but kind). Anyway, one thing led to another, and we spent basically the rest of the trip sleeping with each other.

She is not my direct partner in charge, but one of three i work with a lot. I am 31 and she is 45 (i think). She is married while I had been dating someone for the past 3 months.
Anyway, since coming back, it's been a bit strange. She's came over a few times. We've gone on local trips with each other (cabin in blue ridge)
she constantly texts, and its pretty naughty stuff. But she basically gets jealous when i go out on dates etc and wants me to stop.
I would say she is in an unhappy marriage. She thinks her husband has cheated (also biglaw partner) in the past and perhaps may still be. He also treats her like crap (which i have witnesses just from the emails she's shown me. He talks to her like he would an associate. I think she loves the fact that i think she is smart and attractive and compliment her constantly.

But no the problem is that i am not sure how to end it with her. I don't want to be her toy and i don't want restrictions of my dating life.
I am going to be up for partner soon, and she has a considerable say in the process. I don't want to burn any bridges but i don't want to be locked in this love triangle.

Can't see you making partner either way -- you are a terrible writer and make hilariously poor decisions at work.

Based on the trouble you had matching verb tenses in this post, I can't imagine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little unusual, but a few months ago I went to a trial outside the city (i work at a law firm and I am a male associate) with my boss (the partner). The trial would last a week. The first couple of days it was all professional, but it was after a breakthrough in the case that we went out with local counsel. We had a few drinks and me and the partner took a cab back to our hotel room. She started fondling me. I think she is attractive for her age and I really respect her (brilliant mind, but kind). Anyway, one thing led to another, and we spent basically the rest of the trip sleeping with each other.

She is not my direct partner in charge, but one of three i work with a lot. I am 31 and she is 45 (i think). She is married while I had been dating someone for the past 3 months.
Anyway, since coming back, it's been a bit strange. She's came over a few times. We've gone on local trips with each other (cabin in blue ridge)
she constantly texts, and its pretty naughty stuff. But she basically gets jealous when i go out on dates etc and wants me to stop.
I would say she is in an unhappy marriage. She thinks her husband has cheated (also biglaw partner) in the past and perhaps may still be. He also treats her like crap (which i have witnesses just from the emails she's shown me. He talks to her like he would an associate. I think she loves the fact that i think she is smart and attractive and compliment her constantly.

But no the problem is that i am not sure how to end it with her. I don't want to be her toy and i don't want restrictions of my dating life.
I am going to be up for partner soon, and she has a considerable say in the process. I don't want to burn any bridges but i don't want to be locked in this love triangle.

Can't see you making partner either way -- you are a terrible writer and make hilariously poor decisions at work.

Based on the trouble you had matching verb tenses in this post, I can't imagine

+1

I mean, really, "me and the partner took a cab" violates grammar rules that my 8 year knows.

[Anonymous]

Yep, use her like she is using you. Trust me, she is aware of this.

[Anonymous]

Cool story, bro. Now back to reality.

[Anonymous]

Hahahahahahaahhahahaha