sleeping with the boss but can't end it

[Anonymous]

So if the genders were reversed, DCUM'ers would be blaming the partner for preying on you and using their position of power. Instead, they just say it's your fault. Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Stop it with the sanctimonious crap about knowing better.
I wouldn't say anything to anyone about the situation. Wait until you make partner and then decide your move.

Since you are a young male, you can always find a wife, and you will be even more marketable to women with the higher salary. You shouldn't be focused on that aspect of life until you do make partner. You need to be free to put in the hours that you need to and the sacrifices that you need to NOW. Women can wait. You are getting intimacy and companionship from her. Move on to the next fling if she changes her mind.

Don't be like all those guys that marry before 35, have kids before 35 and then complain about buying a milkless cow 10 year later.

Yea, this is coming from someone who knows several cheating partners who life totally separate lives from their kids and wives.

[Anonymous]

I think OP likes her and can't admit it. You want her to break up with her husband? You think its unfair how she is married and you can't even go on dates without upsetting her.

This woman is pretty good. She has a 15 year younger lover, is married, makes bank and has you feeling sorry for her. I bet her husband is probably not cheating either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the sanctimonious crap about knowing better.
I wouldn't say anything to anyone about the situation. Wait until you make partner and then decide your move.

Since you are a young male, you can always find a wife, and you will be even more marketable to women with the higher salary. You shouldn't be focused on that aspect of life until you do make partner. You need to be free to put in the hours that you need to and the sacrifices that you need to NOW. Women can wait. You are getting intimacy and companionship from her. Move on to the next fling if she changes her mind.

Don't be like all those guys that marry before 35, have kids before 35 and then complain about buying a milkless cow 10 year later.

Yea, this is coming from someone who knows several cheating partners who life totally separate lives from their kids and wives.

live, not life.

[Anonymous]

Textbook sexual harassment. Start a #alsome campaign on Twitter to complement #metoo

[Anonymous]

continue having sex with her for two more years at least make partner out of this.
Talk to her how its unfair that she can be married but you can not date. If thats what you want, to be with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This cannot be real, but it is almost too pathetic to be a troll post?

Yeah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Textbook sexual harassment. Start a #alsome campaign on Twitter to complement #metoo

I think it should be #MenToo...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP likes her and can't admit it. You want her to break up with her husband? You think its unfair how she is married and you can't even go on dates without upsetting her.

This woman is pretty good. She has a 15 year younger lover, is married, makes bank and has you feeling sorry for her. I bet her husband is probably not cheating either.

There's nothing good about this slime, and that puts OP in the same category.

What if her husband finds out? What if he comes after him? I see a lot of bad things that could happen.

OP needs to get away from her and put this bad deed behind him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i can guarantee that law ethics never says don't sleep with your boss in a law firm. We all know the don't sleep with "active" clients, but nothing about don't sleep with your boss.

Source: ethics attorney.

Seriously, you are an ethics attorney?! Forehead slap!!! People like you are the reason we have a #metoo movement. FFS, it's the blind leading the blind out there....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP likes her and can't admit it. You want her to break up with her husband? You think its unfair how she is married and you can't even go on dates without upsetting her.

This woman is pretty good. She has a 15 year younger lover, is married, makes bank and has you feeling sorry for her. I bet her husband is probably not cheating either.

I think so too. He wants to be in a relationship with her. Good for him. Make an honest woman out her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here

I didn't think my writing would be judged by the grammar nazis. Writing on your phone has never been harder.

I understand I made a dumb move. I think it is apparent for everyone to see that I wasn't thinking this through. But it just happened. She was being very complimentary towards me as well. The alcohol played its part and the rest is history. She knew what she was doing and what she wanted out of this relationship. She's calculating.

As far as making partner. I'm expecting that to happen over the next two years (would be non-equity at first). So it's not right now. The partner I work for has been a big advocate of mine. He is a very nice guy, and has been my mentor. I debated telling him, but that would probably end all hopes I have of moving anywhere in the legal world.

I think people that said i need to end things with her while maintaining a professional relationship fail to see that this isn't just a sex situation. She is almost like a girlfriend now. It's a weird dynamic, but she is possessive and jealous. I basically stopped seeing the girl i was dating because it was upsetting her so much. I know how that looks.

Leaving the firm is a possibility. I don't know. I'm pretty confused.

I have a phone that takes dictation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little unusual, but a few months ago I went to a trial outside the city (i work at a law firm and I am a male associate) with my boss (the partner). The trial would last a week. The first couple of days it was all professional, but it was after a breakthrough in the case that we went out with local counsel. We had a few drinks and me and the partner took a cab back to our hotel room. She started fondling me. I think she is attractive for her age and I really respect her (brilliant mind, but kind). Anyway, one thing led to another, and we spent basically the rest of the trip sleeping with each other.

She is not my direct partner in charge, but one of three i work with a lot. I am 31 and she is 45 (i think). She is married while I had been dating someone for the past 3 months.
Anyway, since coming back, it's been a bit strange. She's came over a few times. We've gone on local trips with each other (cabin in blue ridge)
she constantly texts, and its pretty naughty stuff. But she basically gets jealous when i go out on dates etc and wants me to stop.
I would say she is in an unhappy marriage. She thinks her husband has cheated (also biglaw partner) in the past and perhaps may still be. He also treats her like crap (which i have witnesses just from the emails she's shown me. He talks to her like he would an associate. I think she loves the fact that i think she is smart and attractive and compliment her constantly.

But no the problem is that i am not sure how to end it with her. I don't want to be her toy and i don't want restrictions of my dating life.
I am going to be up for partner soon, and she has a considerable say in the process. I don't want to burn any bridges but i don't want to be locked in this love triangle.

I'm calling troll based on the far-fetched details, but mostly because of the poor grammar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i can guarantee that law ethics never says don't sleep with your boss in a law firm. We all know the don't sleep with "active" clients, but nothing about don't sleep with your boss.

Source: ethics attorney.

Seriously, you are an ethics attorney?! Forehead slap!!! People like you are the reason we have a #metoo movement. FFS, it's the blind leading the blind out there....

NP here, and you're an idiot. The PP was talking about the canons of legal ethics that each lawyer is required to adhere. Failure to adhere is grounds for discipline or disbarment. They deal with the client relationship, candor to courts - ethics in connection with the business of being a lawyer. And they say nothing about sleeping with your married boss. Is that stupid? Yes. Is it "unethical" in the sense that it is "wrong?" Perhaps. But it isn't a violation of legal ethics.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for the OP. If the story is true, he is clearly emotionally immature.
He got himself involved with an older, married woman, that happens to be his boss.
She is going through a midlife crisis (45 without kids and a cheating husband) and is trying to roll back the clock by bedding a young man.
She knows what type of stress he's under and totally took advantage of him.
People are right in saying that he is to blame, but it is sexual harassment, especially if she made the first move.

Now he's worried about losing his job, getting exposed, and breaking this woman's heart. He's given up his own relationship with an age appropriate woman, for a control freak. I hope you find a way out of this.