Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

You mean people refuse to demand free child care from other parents? Yes, that's appropriate. I had to stop working due to childcare. I'm not here to shag your kid around for free (or even a small pay) when I'm now home for my teens. You need to take care of your kids needs and stop dumping them on others.

Yup, as selfish and annoying as expected! Some of us would call this "sharing the burden" or "carpooling" or "bartering services" or whatever, but you, you're just a selfish a-hole.

I’m not selfish. I drive my own kids. I’m tried of strangers demanding I drive their kids. I owe you nothing. It’s not sharing as often the other families cancel, bail or refuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

This is ridiculous. We made choices including an attached home (you're right, I CAN'T afford a single family home with a yard, and I never said I was entitled to them), one very short commute, and one remote job. These worked for us. Acting like relocation of one job wouldn't impact dual career families (because that's what it is, relocation) if they'd just planned better is some serious confusion of luck with planning.

You could have afforded a single family house, just not where you wanted to live. Our house is 1000 square feet. We cannot just move every time my spouse gets a new job.

Are you actually criticizing me for living in a townhouse? Can't win with you people.

And no, we can't just move either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is home today with the flu. My spouse is caring for him.

I’m in the office, staying in my office with the door closed so I don’t get anyone sick. Frustrating because up until Monday, I could have teleworked in this situation and avoided the commute and risk to others.

Sorry PP. I'm a remote hire who's still WFH because they haven't assigned me space yet (but don't be too jealous, I expect to have a 4.5 hour multimodal round trip each day soon!). One of my kids and I had the flu sequentially over the last two weeks, with the kid home sick for a week and then me. Of course I used my leave to take care of the kid, trading off with my spouse, and then worked from home when I was ill. I was grateful for the timing but I'm not looking forward to going back to the pre-covid reality of using all my sick leave for kids and then dragging myself to work when I catch it.

You were working from home with the “flu”? Come on!

Yes, because I took a bunch of sick leave when my kid was home sick? You can't take care of a 5 year old while teleworking. You can sneeze a lot and cover yourself with blankets while shivering in front of your laptop.

I did go in to work sick before covid because of this too. It sucked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

I have a 6th grader and a 2nd grader and I’m (barely) genX. I see no difference between my older and younger children’s parents in terms of carpools and coordination. Where I see a marked difference is between parents whose 2nd grader is their oldest vs middle/youngest.

I was much quicker to instigate car pools and drop off activities for my younger child. Because of WFH, a lot of parents got used to being home at 4:30 or staying to watch practices. We no longer have that luxury. Parents who didn’t have school age kids pre-pandemic will get on board by fall.

Maybe this is what it is, maybe it's related to the pandemic, but parents of my younger child's kids have zero interest in carpooling, definitely don't do as many playdates as my older kid, etc.

Play dates are usually you demanding free child care. And carpools are the one family family doing all the driving. I’ll help out on occasion but not on a regular basis. I got burned too many times where play dates became too frequent as with carpools with no help when I needed it and I wanted time with my kids to do things after like dinner and not have to constantly pay for an extra kid or two.

You seem to have crappy friends. We carpooled 50-50 for 4 years with the same family. And playdates we alternate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

This, if you want RTO, plus commute time, all meetings and work needs to be completed during work hours. If you want flexibility from employees you need to give flexibility. You get 8 hours. Your failure to plan meetings at an appropriate time is on you. My spouse stopped all evening, early morning and weekend work. If he has a 90-minute commute each way, plus 8-9 hours in the office, that's it. He's not taking calls at 8-9 PM from other countries or the west coast.

Day cares close between 5:30-6 and kids have activities, plus homework, dinner, bath, etc. You aren't reasonable. Kids need their parents time too.

I would argue this is the case even in a WFH role, at least the meetings aspect.

I work in a hybrid position at a corporation and would not accept a meeting invite outside 9-5 unless an emergency or a known requirement of my role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

This is ridiculous. We made choices including an attached home (you're right, I CAN'T afford a single family home with a yard, and I never said I was entitled to them), one very short commute, and one remote job. These worked for us. Acting like relocation of one job wouldn't impact dual career families (because that's what it is, relocation) if they'd just planned better is some serious confusion of luck with planning.

You could have afforded a single family house, just not where you wanted to live. Our house is 1000 square feet. We cannot just move every time my spouse gets a new job.

Are you actually criticizing me for living in a townhouse? Can't win with you people.

And no, we can't just move either.

Townhouses can be more expensive with hoa fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

This, if you want RTO, plus commute time, all meetings and work needs to be completed during work hours. If you want flexibility from employees you need to give flexibility. You get 8 hours. Your failure to plan meetings at an appropriate time is on you. My spouse stopped all evening, early morning and weekend work. If he has a 90-minute commute each way, plus 8-9 hours in the office, that's it. He's not taking calls at 8-9 PM from other countries or the west coast.

Day cares close between 5:30-6 and kids have activities, plus homework, dinner, bath, etc. You aren't reasonable. Kids need their parents time too.

I would argue this is the case even in a WFH role, at least the meetings aspect.

I work in a hybrid position at a corporation and would not accept a meeting invite outside 9-5 unless an emergency or a known requirement of my role.

My spouse was fine with it as long as they had flexibility to drive to activities as they work while waiting for the kids type deal. It’s the nature of jobs where people are in other countries and coasts. Now they work much less when you add up the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

This is ridiculous. We made choices including an attached home (you're right, I CAN'T afford a single family home with a yard, and I never said I was entitled to them), one very short commute, and one remote job. These worked for us. Acting like relocation of one job wouldn't impact dual career families (because that's what it is, relocation) if they'd just planned better is some serious confusion of luck with planning.

You could have afforded a single family house, just not where you wanted to live. Our house is 1000 square feet. We cannot just move every time my spouse gets a new job.

Are you actually criticizing me for living in a townhouse? Can't win with you people.

And no, we can't just move either.

Townhouses can be more expensive with hoa fees.

New poster - my fee comes with a pool woo-hoo. Much cheaper than a country club membership too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

I have a 6th grader and a 2nd grader and I’m (barely) genX. I see no difference between my older and younger children’s parents in terms of carpools and coordination. Where I see a marked difference is between parents whose 2nd grader is their oldest vs middle/youngest.

I was much quicker to instigate car pools and drop off activities for my younger child. Because of WFH, a lot of parents got used to being home at 4:30 or staying to watch practices. We no longer have that luxury. Parents who didn’t have school age kids pre-pandemic will get on board by fall.

Maybe this is what it is, maybe it's related to the pandemic, but parents of my younger child's kids have zero interest in carpooling, definitely don't do as many playdates as my older kid, etc.

Play dates are usually you demanding free child care. And carpools are the one family family doing all the driving. I’ll help out on occasion but not on a regular basis. I got burned too many times where play dates became too frequent as with carpools with no help when I needed it and I wanted time with my kids to do things after like dinner and not have to constantly pay for an extra kid or two.

You seem to have crappy friends. We carpooled 50-50 for 4 years with the same family. And playdates we alternate.

That’s not playdates. That’s exchanging babysitting. We did activities our kids enjoyed, not just because we could carpool. These were not friends. They were strangers whose kids were in the activities demanding rides as in we pick up from their house and drop off every time.

[Anonymous]

I have been on work calls with DoD employees around mid morning, calling into calls from gymnastics camp. Same client, couldn’t schedule Friday meetings either.

Summer swim team has fed employees (GS-15) working from the pool at 10am swim practices.

I have one client (fed employee) who worked 1/2 day Monday, 12hrs/day Tuesday- Thursday, and off on Friday. HQ agency desk job (eg not medical, shift work, etc).

I think these are the types situation that most people are upset about. Why are taxpayers paying for a fed employee to work from a pool while doing summer childcare. They should have hired a nanny/teenager to take kid to swim team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

This is ridiculous. We made choices including an attached home (you're right, I CAN'T afford a single family home with a yard, and I never said I was entitled to them), one very short commute, and one remote job. These worked for us. Acting like relocation of one job wouldn't impact dual career families (because that's what it is, relocation) if they'd just planned better is some serious confusion of luck with planning.

You could have afforded a single family house, just not where you wanted to live. Our house is 1000 square feet. We cannot just move every time my spouse gets a new job.

Are you actually criticizing me for living in a townhouse? Can't win with you people.

And no, we can't just move either.

Townhouses can be more expensive with hoa fees.

New poster - my fee comes with a pool woo-hoo. Much cheaper than a country club membership too.

Ok, and? There are public pools and private pools all over, still cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been on work calls with DoD employees around mid morning, calling into calls from gymnastics camp. Same client, couldn’t schedule Friday meetings either.

Summer swim team has fed employees (GS-15) working from the pool at 10am swim practices.

I have one client (fed employee) who worked 1/2 day Monday, 12hrs/day Tuesday- Thursday, and off on Friday. HQ agency desk job (eg not medical, shift work, etc).

I think these are the types situation that most people are upset about. Why are taxpayers paying for a fed employee to work from a pool while doing summer childcare. They should have hired a nanny/teenager to take kid to swim team.

Anyone with common sense would not put kids in a car with teens. Nothing wrong with that. Many of these people make up the hours in the evenings or weekends. Its not just feds who are RTO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on work calls with DoD employees around mid morning, calling into calls from gymnastics camp. Same client, couldn’t schedule Friday meetings either.

Summer swim team has fed employees (GS-15) working from the pool at 10am swim practices.

I have one client (fed employee) who worked 1/2 day Monday, 12hrs/day Tuesday- Thursday, and off on Friday. HQ agency desk job (eg not medical, shift work, etc).

I think these are the types situation that most people are upset about. Why are taxpayers paying for a fed employee to work from a pool while doing summer childcare. They should have hired a nanny/teenager to take kid to swim team.

Anyone with common sense would not put kids in a car with teens. Nothing wrong with that. Many of these people make up the hours in the evenings or weekends. Its not just feds who are RTO.

Didn’t say parent had to put kid in car with a teen driver. Could have walked, rode bikes, etc. Our HOA pool is in the neighborhood.

Point is they are charging time on their federal time cards while also providing childcare - eg typing on laptop at pool. Who helped get the 6 year old child ready for swim team the 1/2 hr before practice?

Oh and the rest of us who need to meet with said fed employees during their currently very limited short daytime work hours, while they “work” into the evenings, will actually be able to get stuff accomplished.

I’m all for fed RTO, sorry people abused the privilege for the rest of the hard workers who understood the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on work calls with DoD employees around mid morning, calling into calls from gymnastics camp. Same client, couldn’t schedule Friday meetings either.

Summer swim team has fed employees (GS-15) working from the pool at 10am swim practices.

I have one client (fed employee) who worked 1/2 day Monday, 12hrs/day Tuesday- Thursday, and off on Friday. HQ agency desk job (eg not medical, shift work, etc).

I think these are the types situation that most people are upset about. Why are taxpayers paying for a fed employee to work from a pool while doing summer childcare. They should have hired a nanny/teenager to take kid to swim team.

Anyone with common sense would not put kids in a car with teens. Nothing wrong with that. Many of these people make up the hours in the evenings or weekends. Its not just feds who are RTO.

Didn’t say parent had to put kid in car with a teen driver. Could have walked, rode bikes, etc. Our HOA pool is in the neighborhood.

Point is they are charging time on their federal time cards while also providing childcare - eg typing on laptop at pool. Who helped get the 6 year old child ready for swim team the 1/2 hr before practice?

Oh and the rest of us who need to meet with said fed employees during their currently very limited short daytime work hours, while they “work” into the evenings, will actually be able to get stuff accomplished.

I’m all for fed RTO, sorry people abused the privilege for the rest of the hard workers who understood the rules.

I have had a similar experience. And half the time there is ambient noise or they are distracted, so the communication is unclear or incomplete, and it takes follow-up calls or emails to clarify (or if no one bothers to do that, the confusion persists!). Total waste of time and driver of frustration among colleagues.

Making up the time at night only works for head’s down work. I do that occasionally on my hybrid days, if it’s a nice day and I want to accompany my nanny and kids for a walk after school. But I would never take a meeting like that, unless last-min or something I don’t really need to pay attention to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been on work calls with DoD employees around mid morning, calling into calls from gymnastics camp. Same client, couldn’t schedule Friday meetings either.

Summer swim team has fed employees (GS-15) working from the pool at 10am swim practices.

I have one client (fed employee) who worked 1/2 day Monday, 12hrs/day Tuesday- Thursday, and off on Friday. HQ agency desk job (eg not medical, shift work, etc).

I think these are the types situation that most people are upset about. Why are taxpayers paying for a fed employee to work from a pool while doing summer childcare. They should have hired a nanny/teenager to take kid to swim team.

These things are nice to have but shouldn’t be taken as granted when the avg American people are struggling.