Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for pre-care and after-care. It’s wonderful to know that it is there as we need it. If we come home early one day, then just pick the DC up. It’s an expense that gives peace of mind. I don’t want to keep hiring Nannie’s and teens for an hour here or there. I don’t want to keep searching on care.com. We just sucked up and paid for the given spot.

I our school district you will lose your lost if your kid misses too many days of before/after care. Also, there's a waiting list a mile long. This is not an option available to everyone.

Where we live there are plenty of TKD/ballet/gymnastics type places that pick up at the schools. More people use these than the onsite programs. You don't have to sign up for all 5 days if you don't want to, and they don't care if you don't use the spot every day you have paid for. Look around - I'm sure these exist where you are, in addition to in home situations as well.

Fun fact: none of those places are licensed child care settings, so if you have a child with a disability or a medical condition (or even allergies) it’s not necessarily someplace that child can safely go or will be welcome

Fun fact: That doesn’t apply to the majority of people whining here. If it does to you (the royal you), then seek out another childcare arrangement that does work. Or quit and go work somewhere with hours and conditions you like better. No one cares.

It applies to more people than you think. I had a spot in a specialty day care for my infant years ago and last minute they gave my spot away and said to bad. I had to quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

You mean people refuse to demand free child care from other parents? Yes, that's appropriate. I had to stop working due to childcare. I'm not here to shag your kid around for free (or even a small pay) when I'm now home for my teens. You need to take care of your kids needs and stop dumping them on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

This, if you want RTO, plus commute time, all meetings and work needs to be completed during work hours. If you want flexibility from employees you need to give flexibility. You get 8 hours. Your failure to plan meetings at an appropriate time is on you. My spouse stopped all evening, early morning and weekend work. If he has a 90-minute commute each way, plus 8-9 hours in the office, that's it. He's not taking calls at 8-9 PM from other countries or the west coast.

Day cares close between 5:30-6 and kids have activities, plus homework, dinner, bath, etc. You aren't reasonable. Kids need their parents time too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for pre-care and after-care. It’s wonderful to know that it is there as we need it. If we come home early one day, then just pick the DC up. It’s an expense that gives peace of mind. I don’t want to keep hiring Nannie’s and teens for an hour here or there. I don’t want to keep searching on care.com. We just sucked up and paid for the given spot.

I our school district you will lose your lost if your kid misses too many days of before/after care. Also, there's a waiting list a mile long. This is not an option available to everyone.

Where we live there are plenty of TKD/ballet/gymnastics type places that pick up at the schools. More people use these than the onsite programs. You don't have to sign up for all 5 days if you don't want to, and they don't care if you don't use the spot every day you have paid for. Look around - I'm sure these exist where you are, in addition to in home situations as well.

Fun fact: none of those places are licensed child care settings, so if you have a child with a disability or a medical condition (or even allergies) it’s not necessarily someplace that child can safely go or will be welcome

Fun fact: That doesn’t apply to the majority of people whining here. If it does to you (the royal you), then seek out another childcare arrangement that does work. Or quit and go work somewhere with hours and conditions you like better. No one cares.

It applies to more people than you think. I had a spot in a specialty day care for my infant years ago and last minute they gave my spot away and said to bad. I had to quit.

Why did they give it away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely agree with a PP that they will cheer at women exiting the workforce, it's part of what they want.

Probably they didn't give this a thought.

Of course they did. Vance believes that women belong at home and should have more babies. He has said so explicitly.

Url or citation?

https://apnews.com/article/jd-vance-childless-cat-ladies-birth-rates-555c0f78ef8dd4c13c88b9e8d5f0024a

Nowhere in this article did he say that women belong at home. Please stop perpetuating lies. This is not the same: “ In several interviews, he’s argued policymakers should make it easier for two-parent households to be able to live on a single wage so that one of the parents can stay home with their children.”
To be honest, it would be great if one parent — mom or dad - had the option to stay at home when their children are in preschool and school age and need them most. What is wrong with that ambition?

[Anonymous]

On the SEC thread, they are stating that anyone complaining about RTO is “tone deaf.” Guess they haven’t been over here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

This, if you want RTO, plus commute time, all meetings and work needs to be completed during work hours. If you want flexibility from employees you need to give flexibility. You get 8 hours. Your failure to plan meetings at an appropriate time is on you. My spouse stopped all evening, early morning and weekend work. If he has a 90-minute commute each way, plus 8-9 hours in the office, that's it. He's not taking calls at 8-9 PM from other countries or the west coast.

Day cares close between 5:30-6 and kids have activities, plus homework, dinner, bath, etc. You aren't reasonable. Kids need their parents time too.

There are 24 hours 7 day a week ones. I had one near my old house in a town where four biggest job occupations were Doctors, Nurses, Cops and Firemen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

I have a 6th grader and a 2nd grader and I’m (barely) genX. I see no difference between my older and younger children’s parents in terms of carpools and coordination. Where I see a marked difference is between parents whose 2nd grader is their oldest vs middle/youngest.

I was much quicker to instigate car pools and drop off activities for my younger child. Because of WFH, a lot of parents got used to being home at 4:30 or staying to watch practices. We no longer have that luxury. Parents who didn’t have school age kids pre-pandemic will get on board by fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

You mean people refuse to demand free child care from other parents? Yes, that's appropriate. I had to stop working due to childcare. I'm not here to shag your kid around for free (or even a small pay) when I'm now home for my teens. You need to take care of your kids needs and stop dumping them on others.

Yup, as selfish and annoying as expected! Some of us would call this "sharing the burden" or "carpooling" or "bartering services" or whatever, but you, you're just a selfish a-hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

I have a 6th grader and a 2nd grader and I’m (barely) genX. I see no difference between my older and younger children’s parents in terms of carpools and coordination. Where I see a marked difference is between parents whose 2nd grader is their oldest vs middle/youngest.

I was much quicker to instigate car pools and drop off activities for my younger child. Because of WFH, a lot of parents got used to being home at 4:30 or staying to watch practices. We no longer have that luxury. Parents who didn’t have school age kids pre-pandemic will get on board by fall.

Maybe this is what it is, maybe it's related to the pandemic, but parents of my younger child's kids have zero interest in carpooling, definitely don't do as many playdates as my older kid, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

This, if you want RTO, plus commute time, all meetings and work needs to be completed during work hours. If you want flexibility from employees you need to give flexibility. You get 8 hours. Your failure to plan meetings at an appropriate time is on you. My spouse stopped all evening, early morning and weekend work. If he has a 90-minute commute each way, plus 8-9 hours in the office, that's it. He's not taking calls at 8-9 PM from other countries or the west coast.

Day cares close between 5:30-6 and kids have activities, plus homework, dinner, bath, etc. You aren't reasonable. Kids need their parents time too.

There are 24 hours 7 day a week ones. I had one near my old house in a town where four biggest job occupations were Doctors, Nurses, Cops and Firemen.

No one is doing a 24/7 daycare in order to do some BS call at 8pm. I can't believe all the apologists for corporate dysfunction on this thread. I hope these are trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is home today with the flu. My spouse is caring for him.

I’m in the office, staying in my office with the door closed so I don’t get anyone sick. Frustrating because up until Monday, I could have teleworked in this situation and avoided the commute and risk to others.

Sorry PP. I'm a remote hire who's still WFH because they haven't assigned me space yet (but don't be too jealous, I expect to have a 4.5 hour multimodal round trip each day soon!). One of my kids and I had the flu sequentially over the last two weeks, with the kid home sick for a week and then me. Of course I used my leave to take care of the kid, trading off with my spouse, and then worked from home when I was ill. I was grateful for the timing but I'm not looking forward to going back to the pre-covid reality of using all my sick leave for kids and then dragging myself to work when I catch it.

You were working from home with the “flu”? Come on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for pre-care and after-care. It’s wonderful to know that it is there as we need it. If we come home early one day, then just pick the DC up. It’s an expense that gives peace of mind. I don’t want to keep hiring Nannie’s and teens for an hour here or there. I don’t want to keep searching on care.com. We just sucked up and paid for the given spot.

I our school district you will lose your lost if your kid misses too many days of before/after care. Also, there's a waiting list a mile long. This is not an option available to everyone.

Where we live there are plenty of TKD/ballet/gymnastics type places that pick up at the schools. More people use these than the onsite programs. You don't have to sign up for all 5 days if you don't want to, and they don't care if you don't use the spot every day you have paid for. Look around - I'm sure these exist where you are, in addition to in home situations as well.

Fun fact: none of those places are licensed child care settings, so if you have a child with a disability or a medical condition (or even allergies) it’s not necessarily someplace that child can safely go or will be welcome

Fun fact: That doesn’t apply to the majority of people whining here. If it does to you (the royal you), then seek out another childcare arrangement that does work. Or quit and go work somewhere with hours and conditions you like better. No one cares.

It applies to more people than you think. I had a spot in a specialty day care for my infant years ago and last minute they gave my spot away and said to bad. I had to quit.

Why did they give it away?

No idea. It was really bizzare. I even offered to pay to hold the spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is home today with the flu. My spouse is caring for him.

I’m in the office, staying in my office with the door closed so I don’t get anyone sick. Frustrating because up until Monday, I could have teleworked in this situation and avoided the commute and risk to others.

Sorry PP. I'm a remote hire who's still WFH because they haven't assigned me space yet (but don't be too jealous, I expect to have a 4.5 hour multimodal round trip each day soon!). One of my kids and I had the flu sequentially over the last two weeks, with the kid home sick for a week and then me. Of course I used my leave to take care of the kid, trading off with my spouse, and then worked from home when I was ill. I was grateful for the timing but I'm not looking forward to going back to the pre-covid reality of using all my sick leave for kids and then dragging myself to work when I catch it.

You were working from home with the “flu”? Come on!

?? DP, but I work from home when sick because there is work to be done. I worked when I had a bad time with covid because things needed to get done, and my boss said that if he worked with covid, I could too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

I have a 6th grader and a 2nd grader and I’m (barely) genX. I see no difference between my older and younger children’s parents in terms of carpools and coordination. Where I see a marked difference is between parents whose 2nd grader is their oldest vs middle/youngest.

I was much quicker to instigate car pools and drop off activities for my younger child. Because of WFH, a lot of parents got used to being home at 4:30 or staying to watch practices. We no longer have that luxury. Parents who didn’t have school age kids pre-pandemic will get on board by fall.

Maybe this is what it is, maybe it's related to the pandemic, but parents of my younger child's kids have zero interest in carpooling, definitely don't do as many playdates as my older kid, etc.

Play dates are usually you demanding free child care. And carpools are the one family family doing all the driving. I’ll help out on occasion but not on a regular basis. I got burned too many times where play dates became too frequent as with carpools with no help when I needed it and I wanted time with my kids to do things after like dinner and not have to constantly pay for an extra kid or two.