Feeling slight guilt by the marrying white trend

[Anonymous]

I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how attractive you all are...

[Anonymous]

What's your question?

[Anonymous]

I'm also an Indian woman married white (Jew). We are a thing for sure. All my cousins who were born here, too. Male cousins who have married married either white or other Asian. The exceptions are my cousins born in India who found good partners there. I never really hit it off with Indian guys, much to my parents' chagrin, but it has all worked out.

[Anonymous]

There's no trend. Same background as you only we all married Indians.

We all make choices in life.

[Anonymous]

Just make sure your children learn your language and all about your culture. Is marrying white an actual trend? I don't view it as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

That's not really true Though. You actively chose to exclusively date white men . You chose to marry them. Love and attraction are functions of who you spend time with. I don't think marrying outside your background makes you self-loathing..

I think you have other issues that you need to examine feeling guilty, embarrassed and cringing t your relationship is not a healthy sign. Please do not have children until you resolve this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

Yes. You are right to cringe. Something was off. You were either running to or from something. Figure it out why so it does not wreck your marriage or spill over to the next generation. I do believe you could have found a match out one of the hundreds of millions of Indian men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

Yes. You are right to cringe. Something was off. You were either running to or from something. Figure it out why so it does not wreck your marriage or spill over to the next generation. I do believe you could have found a match out one of the hundreds of millions of Indian men.

Don't listen to this person, they are nuts.

Expecting women to marry within their race is so sexist and creepy. Especially since it's seen as a positive for men to marry outside their race- a black man with a white woman, a white man with an Asian woman, etc.

You are overthinking this. Nobody else cares who you marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

Yes. You are right to cringe. Something was off. You were either running to or from something. Figure it out why so it does not wreck your marriage or spill over to the next generation. I do believe you could have found a match out one of the hundreds of millions of Indian men.

Don't listen to this person, they are nuts.

Expecting women to marry within their race is so sexist and creepy. Especially since it's seen as a positive for men to marry outside their race- a black man with a white woman, a white man with an Asian woman, etc.

You are overthinking this. Nobody else cares who you marry.

It's not seen as a positive.

[Anonymous]

I'm Indian, and I'm the only one in my family and in most of my parents' circle who married a white man. Most of the Indian women I grew up or met in school are married to other Indians. I feel like an outlier.

[Anonymous]

im south Asian and noticed this trend mostly amongst South Indians. My guess is that they're not considered attractive by other south asians and have to seek people outside their race.

[Anonymous]

There is definitely a cultural aspect to it, probably rooted in British colonialism. Everyone was taught that fairer was better (hello caste system). Tell an Indian parent that your going to marry a black guy vs a white guy (or another Indian). There will be a huge difference in their response.

[Anonymous]

No point in feeling guilty as what's done is done.

I really like the fact that my SO and I share cultures, were not from the same countries, but same region and there's a lot of overlap.

Clearly I missed the memo on the marrying white trend.

[Anonymous]

nwdc, all the indian women i know here are married to white men (admittedly, sample size isn't huge); lol, makes sense considering the indian men are with white women (the big sick, masters of none)