Feeling slight guilt by the marrying white trend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im south Asian and noticed this trend mostly amongst South Indians. My guess is that they're not considered attractive by other south asians and have to seek people outside their race.

That's because South Indians have smaller, more attractive noses. They are also more likely to be thin.

Pffffff have you ever been to south India?? Every other person has a huge wide nose which looks massive bc they are so petite.

Every south Asian knows Pakistanis and North Indians >>>> South Indians.

You're an idiot. I'm South Indian with a South Indian DH and neither of us have "huge wide noses" or are short. I guess if we are going to stereotype, we can say that every South Asian knows that Pakistanis and North Indians are DESPERATE for white people to consider them as white too, but it'll never happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Oh please go away.Many Indian couples are from different Indian states and cultures unless they had an arranged marriage from the same caste)which is really cringeworthy in this day and age).She can incorporate what she wants and needs as long as she chose a white guy who respects her culture.

You can't make anyone go away unless you're Jeff.

You can't understand this if you're an American born to an American family in America, where everyone around you is just like you, and where your culture is a dominant one.

DP... I'm Asian, born to immigrant Asian parents, immigrant myself. Grew up surrounded by people "like me". So, I do understand what you are saying. However, I really think you are projecting here. If being surrounded by what is familiar to you is what you want, then certainly you are free to do so. But don't think that this is what everyone wants or needs.

I felt stifled being surrounded by everyone who was the same, went down the same path, married the same kinds of people. I don't want everyone around me to be like me. I like variety. It's the spice of life. It's part of why I was attracted to my European DH who also feels the same, btw. We love exploring different cultures, ethnic foods, travelling, and we love exposing our children to it as well. My biracial kids are doing great in a very diverse part of DC. I love that they are exposed to so many different cultures, people, foods. I wish I had grown up this way.

I'm like you Pp only I'm an Iranian American (secular Muslim) who decided to marry an Indian-American from a Hindu family. I love exposing our children to the cultural variety that results from our marriage and travels. We have a surprising number of similarities between our cultures so we share the same basic values but I would be bored with someone with my exact background. It also travels our children that everything is relative, not black and white.

[Anonymous]

Teaches not travels

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who is curious about what the OP looks like?

[Anonymous]

I have an Indian friend who came to America as a teenager, wanted very badly to be an American, and only dated white men. She ended up marrying one, and he's damn near unemployed and far older than her. I never understood the attraction, though he is a nice enough guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who is curious about what the OP looks like?

Nope, I am too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an Indian friend who came to America as a teenager, wanted very badly to be an American, and only dated white men. She ended up marrying one, and he's damn near unemployed and far older than her. I never understood the attraction, though he is a nice enough guy.

For her, it could be more about what he's NOT, if she wanted to break from the ties of the culture. My husband is Asian, and to be honest, part of my appeal as an American is that I don't play by the rules and restrictions of his culture. Any way he wants to deviate, anything he wants to escape, his family says, well, he's with that American. . . . hehe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im south Asian and noticed this trend mostly amongst South Indians. My guess is that they're not considered attractive by other south asians and have to seek people outside their race.

That's because South Indians have smaller, more attractive noses. They are also more likely to be thin.

Pffffff have you ever been to south India?? Every other person has a huge wide nose which looks massive bc they are so petite.

Every south Asian knows Pakistanis and North Indians >>>> South Indians.

You're an idiot. I'm South Indian with a South Indian DH and neither of us have "huge wide noses" or are short. I guess if we are going to stereotype, we can say that every South Asian knows that Pakistanis and North Indians are DESPERATE for white people to consider them as white too, but it'll never happen

I'm going to be money the op is South Indian and dark. Yes some North Indians and Pakistanis marry whites but not at the rate of South Indians. We don't need whites to see us as white but I know quite a few South Indian women who married whites because they wanted fair children. North Indians and Pakistanis don't need a white partner for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im south Asian and noticed this trend mostly amongst South Indians. My guess is that they're not considered attractive by other south asians and have to seek people outside their race.

That's because South Indians have smaller, more attractive noses. They are also more likely to be thin.

Pffffff have you ever been to south India?? Every other person has a huge wide nose which looks massive bc they are so petite.

Every south Asian knows Pakistanis and North Indians >>>> South Indians.

You're an idiot. I'm South Indian with a South Indian DH and neither of us have "huge wide noses" or are short. I guess if we are going to stereotype, we can say that every South Asian knows that Pakistanis and North Indians are DESPERATE for white people to consider them as white too, but it'll never happen

Ha ha! So True. But first they have to learn to speak English first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im south Asian and noticed this trend mostly amongst South Indians. My guess is that they're not considered attractive by other south asians and have to seek people outside their race.

That's because South Indians have smaller, more attractive noses. They are also more likely to be thin.

Pffffff have you ever been to south India?? Every other person has a huge wide nose which looks massive bc they are so petite.

Every south Asian knows Pakistanis and North Indians >>>> South Indians.

You're an idiot. I'm South Indian with a South Indian DH and neither of us have "huge wide noses" or are short. I guess if we are going to stereotype, we can say that every South Asian knows that Pakistanis and North Indians are DESPERATE for white people to consider them as white too, but it'll never happen

I'm going to be money the op is South Indian and dark. Yes some North Indians and Pakistanis marry whites but not at the rate of South Indians. We don't need whites to see us as white but I know quite a few South Indian women who married whites because they wanted fair children. North Indians and Pakistanis don't need a white partner for that.

The whitest Indian is brown-skinned by comparison to an Caucasian so most South Indians who are here don't care about skin color as much as you think. In India, sure.

[Anonymous]

Who cares - the more mixing the better.

The culture stuff is stupid and it’ll get lost within a couple of generations unless you are Jewish.

In the future we’ll all look like Neymar or rashida Jones

[Anonymous]

OP I have no idea what you're going on about. Why would you be embarrassed by your husbands race? This is bizarre. It sounds like you didn't marry for love. You took your parents advice about falling in love after marriage but with a white guy? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend since the first grade in an Indian girl - both and raised here. She is stunningly beautiful with a brain to go with it. She dated white guys on and off but "came back to her roots" as she says and married a similar north indian she met in college. She has been happily married for 10 years. She tells me her parents would only object to two types as as suitable man for her: any muslim or a black. All others were negotiable....

This is so true! The level of disdain that Indians (Hindu ones) have towards black people and Muslims is quite shocking. What is worst is the way Indians mistreat each other. Caste, region, money, skin complexion, etc. and other interesting factors will determine if Indians would accept you. They are an extremely hateful bunch. Whites are only negotiable if they are from wealthy and upper class families. I always said that you don't know what prejudice is until you have lived in India or in a predominately Desi community. The same folks that will admire me for my light complexion would turn around and mistreat someone else because of their dark complexion. Colorism is a complex issue within the Indian culture. The obsession with skin complexion is quite disturbing.

Perhaps Bangladesh is better or I just got very lucky! My husband is Bangladeshi and he's a physician. I come from a middle class background and I was a nanny before we got married. I now stay at home with my son. I had absolutely no issues with his family. They have been so nice to me all this time we have known each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend since the first grade in an Indian girl - both and raised here. She is stunningly beautiful with a brain to go with it. She dated white guys on and off but "came back to her roots" as she says and married a similar north indian she met in college. She has been happily married for 10 years. She tells me her parents would only object to two types as as suitable man for her: any muslim or a black. All others were negotiable....

This is so true! The level of disdain that Indians (Hindu ones) have towards black people and Muslims is quite shocking. What is worst is the way Indians mistreat each other. Caste, region, money, skin complexion, etc. and other interesting factors will determine if Indians would accept you. They are an extremely hateful bunch. Whites are only negotiable if they are from wealthy and upper class families. I always said that you don't know what prejudice is until you have lived in India or in a predominately Desi community. The same folks that will admire me for my light complexion would turn around and mistreat someone else because of their dark complexion. Colorism is a complex issue within the Indian culture. The obsession with skin complexion is quite disturbing.

Perhaps Bangladesh is better or I just got very lucky! My husband is Bangladeshi and he's a physician. I come from a middle class background and I was a nanny before we got married. I now stay at home with my son. I had absolutely no issues with his family. They have been so nice to me all this time we have known each other.

That's because Bangladeshi people are amazing. Everyone knows that.

[Anonymous]

Eh. There are more white guys than Indian guys around in the US. Easier to find a match who is a white guy.