Feeling slight guilt by the marrying white trend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im south Asian and noticed this trend mostly amongst South Indians. My guess is that they're not considered attractive by other south asians and have to seek people outside their race.

That's because South Indians have smaller, more attractive noses. They are also more likely to be thin.

Pffffff have you ever been to south India?? Every other person has a huge wide nose which looks massive bc they are so petite.

Every south Asian knows Pakistanis and North Indians >>>> South Indians.

Just more h1bs trying to flee Their own culture

Most of the h1bs in the DMV are South Indians.

I know that. South Indians only hire other South Indians. That's why tcs cognizant wipro brillio are 99% South Indian.

Residents of Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, and Karnataka, as we will show, have 24 times the chance of being hired as an H-1B as the average resident of the world, excluding U.S. workers, who, of course, have zero chance of being hired in this program.

https://cis.org/North/H1B-Hiring-Bias-within-Bias-Discrimination-within-Discrimination
https://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Employee-Review-Cognizant-Technology-Solutions-RVW10984353.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:white men are falling out of favor with everyone except Asian women, it seems.

Ignorant racist dolt

[Anonymous]

All the Indians I know are married to other Indians (mostly doctors and a few lawyers). So relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I have known such couples, I found that one (or both people) are "unacceptable" or thought they were "unacceptable" to their own race (because of age, looks, attitude,etc) or one or both of these people thought the other culture or race was "better" (which is ridiculous), which is a form of self-loathing. Just my experiences,with many, many couples over the years. You don't need to agree. Just being honest. Marry whomever you like, but I would examine my situation, so you don't bring children into this world with your hang-ups.

This.

Not an Indian girl but a hispanic girl with a white bf of 3 yrs. He hasn't shown any self hatred of being white and neither have I. Only dated another white before and black and hispanic. Never dated an asian or indian guy but if I had developed a crush on them I wouldn't have hesitated to. I think when you see a high amount of a certain race combo is when you have an issue but when the number is low or rare it usually means that couple has true feelings for one another with no insecure issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I have known such couples, I found that one (or both people) are "unacceptable" or thought they were "unacceptable" to their own race (because of age, looks, attitude,etc) or one or both of these people thought the other culture or race was "better" (which is ridiculous), which is a form of self-loathing. Just my experiences,with many, many couples over the years. You don't need to agree. Just being honest. Marry whomever you like, but I would examine my situation, so you don't bring children into this world with your hang-ups.

This.

Not an Indian girl but a hispanic girl with a white bf of 3 yrs. He hasn't shown any self hatred of being white and neither have I. Only dated another white before and black and hispanic. Never dated an asian or indian guy but if I had developed a crush on them I wouldn't have hesitated to. I think when you see a high amount of a certain race combo is when you have an issue but when the number is low or rare it usually means that couple has true feelings for one another with no insecure issues.

A white girl dating a white man. Nothing to see here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Oh please go away.Many Indian couples are from different Indian states and cultures unless they had an arranged marriage from the same caste)which is really cringeworthy in this day and age).She can incorporate what she wants and needs as long as she chose a white guy who respects her culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I have known such couples, I found that one (or both people) are "unacceptable" or thought they were "unacceptable" to their own race (because of age, looks, attitude,etc) or one or both of these people thought the other culture or race was "better" (which is ridiculous), which is a form of self-loathing. Just my experiences,with many, many couples over the years. You don't need to agree. Just being honest. Marry whomever you like, but I would examine my situation, so you don't bring children into this world with your hang-ups.

So only couples that marry within their race are well-adjusted! GTFO with your racist bullshit. You're what's wrong with America today. My closest friends are a white woman-Indian man couple, and neither are "self-loathing" or "unacceptable" to their own race--both intelligent, good looking people who have an adorable daughter.

OP, there are far more white men in America than Indian men. The odds were good that you would marry one! No need to feel guilty or ashamed, but if you do, a couple of sessions with a therapist wouldn't hurt so you can figure out why you feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Don't understand

Why are you posting on an American forum from India. Surely someone that thinks like this would not flee their culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Don't understand

Why are you posting on an American forum from India. Surely someone that thinks like this would not flee their culture

BINGO! Never understood this mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Oh please go away.Many Indian couples are from different Indian states and cultures unless they had an arranged marriage from the same caste)which is really cringeworthy in this day and age).She can incorporate what she wants and needs as long as she chose a white guy who respects her culture.

You can't make anyone go away unless you're Jeff.

You can't understand this if you're an American born to an American family in America, where everyone around you is just like you, and where your culture is a dominant one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Don't understand

Why are you posting on an American forum from India. Surely someone that thinks like this would not flee their culture

Work on understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Don't understand

Why are you posting on an American forum from India. Surely someone that thinks like this would not flee their culture

BINGO! Never understood this mindset.

Life is not black and white, people make sacrifices and trade-offs. Sometimes true costs of trade-offs do not become apparent until much later. Sometimes you don't realize how important something is to you unless you take it away. Things happen. Work on expanding your understanding of life and people, and begin with the assumption that everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

I grew up here so definitely consider myself more American culture wise, but out of my - huge - family of relatives here, only two couples are Indian and Caucasian American so can't relate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.

One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. Don't underestimate how important that is. Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult. Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.

Oh please go away.Many Indian couples are from different Indian states and cultures unless they had an arranged marriage from the same caste)which is really cringeworthy in this day and age).She can incorporate what she wants and needs as long as she chose a white guy who respects her culture.

You can't make anyone go away unless you're Jeff.

You can't understand this if you're an American born to an American family in America, where everyone around you is just like you, and where your culture is a dominant one.

I am the PP you are referring to and FWIW I am an Indian married to another Indian. People who cling so strongly to their culture and country and it forms their whole identity should not leave their motherland in the first place.