Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

[Anonymous]

^ signed, experienced mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old is sick. Winding down from who knows what. While my remote colleagues are still remote because figuring that out is a cluster, the guidance my boss has given me is that episodic telework has also not been figured out yet. So, now I have to take leave instead of working. This is just dumb. My remote colleagues will work from home today. Because I am in the DC metro, I am not allowed to work from home and will have to reschedule meetings and miss out on a day of productivity.

Yeah, same situation at our agency. And honestly my boss is empathetic because while he doesn’t have young kids anymore, he has an aging parent and needs to take them to appts, etc. He told us that since he’ll no longer be able to take a morning off for an appt and then telework from home that he’ll start taking entire days off because it’s not work 1hr commute each way to come into the office for a partial day.

People are allowed to be upset at how this has all played out- yes, we always knew that telework could be scaled back, but it hasn’t been scaled back to pre-pandemic levels. It’s just gone altogether. And this despite having a LMA that supposedly could only be superseded by an act of congress, not an EO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old is sick. Winding down from who knows what. While my remote colleagues are still remote because figuring that out is a cluster, the guidance my boss has given me is that episodic telework has also not been figured out yet. So, now I have to take leave instead of working. This is just dumb. My remote colleagues will work from home today. Because I am in the DC metro, I am not allowed to work from home and will have to reschedule meetings and miss out on a day of productivity.

Yeah, same situation at our agency. And honestly my boss is empathetic because while he doesn’t have young kids anymore, he has an aging parent and needs to take them to appts, etc. He told us that since he’ll no longer be able to take a morning off for an appt and then telework from home that he’ll start taking entire days off because it’s not work 1hr commute each way to come into the office for a partial day.

People are allowed to be upset at how this has all played out- yes, we always knew that telework could be scaled back, but it hasn’t been scaled back to pre-pandemic levels. It’s just gone altogether. And this despite having a LMA that supposedly could only be superseded by an act of congress, not an EO.

I’m the PP with the sick kid. My kids had an 8 year old and completely understands. I know it’s not her. It’s so frustrating though.

The great irony in it all? Russ Vought, the architect of Project 2025, which is driving all of this—Elon is just the face— has a daughter with cystic fibrosis.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2023/06/08/how-democrats-made-prescription-drug-shortages-worse/70293409007/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

I'm actually not a fed. But I believe the Trump administration when they have literally told us they want to traumatize feds, I think so much of what they are doing is abusive, and so would any decent person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old is sick. Winding down from who knows what. While my remote colleagues are still remote because figuring that out is a cluster, the guidance my boss has given me is that episodic telework has also not been figured out yet. So, now I have to take leave instead of working. This is just dumb. My remote colleagues will work from home today. Because I am in the DC metro, I am not allowed to work from home and will have to reschedule meetings and miss out on a day of productivity.

Yeah, same situation at our agency. And honestly my boss is empathetic because while he doesn’t have young kids anymore, he has an aging parent and needs to take them to appts, etc. He told us that since he’ll no longer be able to take a morning off for an appt and then telework from home that he’ll start taking entire days off because it’s not work 1hr commute each way to come into the office for a partial day.

People are allowed to be upset at how this has all played out- yes, we always knew that telework could be scaled back, but it hasn’t been scaled back to pre-pandemic levels. It’s just gone altogether. And this despite having a LMA that supposedly could only be superseded by an act of congress, not an EO.

I’m the PP with the sick kid. My kids had an 8 year old and completely understands. I know it’s not her. It’s so frustrating though.

The great irony in it all? Russ Vought, the architect of Project 2025, which is driving all of this—Elon is just the face— has a daughter with cystic fibrosis.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2023/06/08/how-democrats-made-prescription-drug-shortages-worse/70293409007/

Probably has a SAH spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old is sick. Winding down from who knows what. While my remote colleagues are still remote because figuring that out is a cluster, the guidance my boss has given me is that episodic telework has also not been figured out yet. So, now I have to take leave instead of working. This is just dumb. My remote colleagues will work from home today. Because I am in the DC metro, I am not allowed to work from home and will have to reschedule meetings and miss out on a day of productivity.

Yeah, same situation at our agency. And honestly my boss is empathetic because while he doesn’t have young kids anymore, he has an aging parent and needs to take them to appts, etc. He told us that since he’ll no longer be able to take a morning off for an appt and then telework from home that he’ll start taking entire days off because it’s not work 1hr commute each way to come into the office for a partial day.

People are allowed to be upset at how this has all played out- yes, we always knew that telework could be scaled back, but it hasn’t been scaled back to pre-pandemic levels. It’s just gone altogether. And this despite having a LMA that supposedly could only be superseded by an act of congress, not an EO.

I’m the PP with the sick kid. My kids had an 8 year old and completely understands. I know it’s not her. It’s so frustrating though.

The great irony in it all? Russ Vought, the architect of Project 2025, which is driving all of this—Elon is just the face— has a daughter with cystic fibrosis.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2023/06/08/how-democrats-made-prescription-drug-shortages-worse/70293409007/

Probably has a SAH spouse.

His now ex wife works at the Heritage Foundation and wrote that article linked above. Who knows what her hours were/are like.

Naturally they also send their kids to private school. I guess it pays to have deep pockets, access to health insurance, and workplace flexibility to support your family when you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

This is ridiculous. We made choices including an attached home (you're right, I CAN'T afford a single family home with a yard, and I never said I was entitled to them), one very short commute, and one remote job. These worked for us. Acting like relocation of one job wouldn't impact dual career families (because that's what it is, relocation) if they'd just planned better is some serious confusion of luck with planning.

[Anonymous]

My kid is home today with the flu. My spouse is caring for him.

I’m in the office, staying in my office with the door closed so I don’t get anyone sick. Frustrating because up until Monday, I could have teleworked in this situation and avoided the commute and risk to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is home today with the flu. My spouse is caring for him.

I’m in the office, staying in my office with the door closed so I don’t get anyone sick. Frustrating because up until Monday, I could have teleworked in this situation and avoided the commute and risk to others.

Sorry PP. I'm a remote hire who's still WFH because they haven't assigned me space yet (but don't be too jealous, I expect to have a 4.5 hour multimodal round trip each day soon!). One of my kids and I had the flu sequentially over the last two weeks, with the kid home sick for a week and then me. Of course I used my leave to take care of the kid, trading off with my spouse, and then worked from home when I was ill. I was grateful for the timing but I'm not looking forward to going back to the pre-covid reality of using all my sick leave for kids and then dragging myself to work when I catch it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

Not where I live. The 6+ parents are young Gen X (in their mid to late 40s) while 1st grade parents are millennial or Gen Z.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Stop the meetings after 5pm. Your work sounds highly inefficient if you can’t condense meeting time into 9-5. Heck, many orgs do core hours of 10-3 or so.

Wanting parents to get adequate childcare doesn’t mean you want them to spend *all* their time at work. They need to spend time with their kids too.

Why on earth is anyone having meetings after 5pm that are not dealing with international partners??? Most places I've worked in the government (I am a contractor) have had core hours - meetings are scheduled typically to start no earlier than 9 and end no later than 3:30. A lot of people, even before Covid, came in early and left early to avoid traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

Oh please. SFH is the dream and who tf do you think you are telling people what is their right or not? You can take your smugness and shove it.

Kids being in school/care for 11 hours is not something everyone is ok with. My child would not have done well in that scenario for a variety of reasons that are, quite frankly, none of your business. I didn't have parental leave when I had a newborn and, yet, I'm thrilled for those who now have it. I struggled big time during that time but I don't feel that others should need to do so.

Also, I don't know who you think you're responding to but my kid is in HS so these issues don't affect me. But, I did just resign after the RTO was for 5 days when I had never done that at my agency. NO ONE at my agency expected that b/c we have different rules (long-standing tw program, we don't take appropriated funds). We were assured that we would likely only have to go back to a few days/week.

And let's be clear, this is not about efficiency it's about cruelty.

It is cruel but stop with your complaining and check your privilege. Plenty of people with kids make do without owning a home. It’s not a right and no one wants to hear your complaints about why your individual circumstances aren’t fair. Own your choices. All before and after care places are now full with waiting lists. Summer camps with extended day are mostly full. It sucks. Some of us planned better. Sorry many of you didn’t.

Can you read? This doesn't affect me so I had nothing to plan for in terms of child care.

No one said it is a right but you have no right to comment on what others should do. "Misery loves company" is not a valid policy. And you're just a smug, judgmental a$$hole with not a shred of empathy. And the fact you think that POTUS' policy of "make work miserable for feds" is ok -implicitly or explicitly- tells me all I need to know about what kind of person you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

This is ridiculous. We made choices including an attached home (you're right, I CAN'T afford a single family home with a yard, and I never said I was entitled to them), one very short commute, and one remote job. These worked for us. Acting like relocation of one job wouldn't impact dual career families (because that's what it is, relocation) if they'd just planned better is some serious confusion of luck with planning.

You could have afforded a single family house, just not where you wanted to live. Our house is 1000 square feet. We cannot just move every time my spouse gets a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

Good school district means expensive housing. An modest apartment could be more than a mortage. It was for us. Yes, there is something wrong with kids being in day care and school 11+ hours a day.