Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

Oh please. SFH is the dream and who tf do you think you are telling people what is their right or not? You can take your smugness and shove it.

Kids being in school/care for 11 hours is not something everyone is ok with. My child would not have done well in that scenario for a variety of reasons that are, quite frankly, none of your business. I didn't have parental leave when I had a newborn and, yet, I'm thrilled for those who now have it. I struggled big time during that time but I don't feel that others should need to do so.

Also, I don't know who you think you're responding to but my kid is in HS so these issues don't affect me. But, I did just resign after the RTO was for 5 days when I had never done that at my agency. NO ONE at my agency expected that b/c we have different rules (long-standing tw program, we don't take appropriated funds). We were assured that we would likely only have to go back to a few days/week.

And let's be clear, this is not about efficiency it's about cruelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

Oh please. SFH is the dream and who tf do you think you are telling people what is their right or not? You can take your smugness and shove it.

Kids being in school/care for 11 hours is not something everyone is ok with. My child would not have done well in that scenario for a variety of reasons that are, quite frankly, none of your business. I didn't have parental leave when I had a newborn and, yet, I'm thrilled for those who now have it. I struggled big time during that time but I don't feel that others should need to do so.

Also, I don't know who you think you're responding to but my kid is in HS so these issues don't affect me. But, I did just resign after the RTO was for 5 days when I had never done that at my agency. NO ONE at my agency expected that b/c we have different rules (long-standing tw program, we don't take appropriated funds). We were assured that we would likely only have to go back to a few days/week.

And let's be clear, this is not about efficiency it's about cruelty.

It is cruel but stop with your complaining and check your privilege. Plenty of people with kids make do without owning a home. It’s not a right and no one wants to hear your complaints about why your individual circumstances aren’t fair. Own your choices. All before and after care places are now full with waiting lists. Summer camps with extended day are mostly full. It sucks. Some of us planned better. Sorry many of you didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

This HIGHLY depends on the both the children and the quality of the school plus before/after care programs. And I put more emphasis on the latter versus the idea of children being the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

This HIGHLY depends on the both the children and the quality of the school plus before/after care programs. And I put more emphasis on the latter versus the idea of children being the issue.

Some families don’t have a choice. But continue thinking you can have your cake and eat it too. Most people can’t have it all. So stop whining about how unfair this is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

Oh please. SFH is the dream and who tf do you think you are telling people what is their right or not? You can take your smugness and shove it.

Kids being in school/care for 11 hours is not something everyone is ok with. My child would not have done well in that scenario for a variety of reasons that are, quite frankly, none of your business. I didn't have parental leave when I had a newborn and, yet, I'm thrilled for those who now have it. I struggled big time during that time but I don't feel that others should need to do so.

Also, I don't know who you think you're responding to but my kid is in HS so these issues don't affect me. But, I did just resign after the RTO was for 5 days when I had never done that at my agency. NO ONE at my agency expected that b/c we have different rules (long-standing tw program, we don't take appropriated funds). We were assured that we would likely only have to go back to a few days/week.

And let's be clear, this is not about efficiency it's about cruelty.

It is cruel but stop with your complaining and check your privilege. Plenty of people with kids make do without owning a home. It’s not a right and no one wants to hear your complaints about why your individual circumstances aren’t fair. Own your choices. All before and after care places are now full with waiting lists. Summer camps with extended day are mostly full. It sucks. Some of us planned better. Sorry many of you didn’t.

Will you just shove off. No one cares what you think. You're just being a jerk to be a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

What PP is saying is that you should have started looking for childcare in November.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

What PP is saying is that you should have started looking for childcare in November.

Not sure who you are talking to. I'm the PP you responded to and we've had childcare covered since September 2020. But if you recall you (or another PP) was lecturing feds about not renting a modest apartment near their office while teleworking. Wtaf is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bit older so I did not have the hybrid or work from home option when my kids were young I had my kids in a daycare that was located at my office so a bit more expensive, but I did drop off and pick up. On sick days, my husband and I would take turns who would stay home and take care of the child or sometimes we would do half days I would work in the morning and he would go to the office and then he would come home at lunch and I would go into the office.

We did not make enough money for me to quit my job. And the daycare craziness was only for five years as I have two kids that are back to back.

Once they were in elementary school, we used the schools after care program. In the summers, I would coordinate summer camps with the parents of my kids friends so that we could take turns with drop off and pick up.

Millennials refuse to talk to and coordinate with other parents. There is a marked difference in this between how the parents of my 6th grader behave (and behaved 5 years ago) and the parents of my 1st grader behave.

I'm confused. The parents of sixth and first graders are both generally millennials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

And you are harassing strangers on the internet who have every right to be upset with the treatment they are receiving at the hands of a few billionaire idiots. It is you who needs to get a grip (and a heart, and maybe some therapy instead of lashing out irrationally here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.

DP here. Many feds did "see the writing on the wall" but that didn't fundamentally change the situation for them.

The reality is these commutes started to get really bad since long before the pandemic. There is a reason there has been so much development in Loudoun County over the past 15 years. Living close to job centers in DC and elsewhere has gotten EXPENSIVE and people have been moving to the exurbs for a while. Telework was a way to retain these workers because otherwise you just can't. Stop attacking people who have been serving our country and are now being intentionally abused and traumatized.

Have as many kids as you can afford. Commute as long as you wish to afford the accommodations you think you "need.

The reality is that people eventually have to face the fact that maybe they can't afford to get pregnant, or may they can't afford a single family home with a yard, etc. These are all choices to be made.

You chose your profession and now you're "abused" and "traumatized." Get a grip.

So 40.something pages in, you are admitting RTO harms families and is counterproductive to any sort of idea of wanting to raise the birth rate, which many in this administration supposedly support?

[Anonymous]

My 7 year old is sick. Winding down from who knows what. While my remote colleagues are still remote because figuring that out is a cluster, the guidance my boss has given me is that episodic telework has also not been figured out yet. So, now I have to take leave instead of working. This is just dumb. My remote colleagues will work from home today. Because I am in the DC metro, I am not allowed to work from home and will have to reschedule meetings and miss out on a day of productivity.