Redshirting August boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

[Anonymous]

It used to be a badge of honour to skip a grade and be the youngest in the class. It meant that you where clever. Hit Shows like Young Sheldon glorify child prodigies who are accelerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Depending on the school, you won’t have much of a choice. Many of them redshirt kids back to may for K entry.

So how is this decided? My June boy was not redshirted by the school, but my friend's son was. They are 1 year apart and in the same class. Watching the class engage, I feel like my son is too young for K. He's that one kid who doesn't sit still, doesn't listen the first time, is constantly disturbing other children, making poor choices, etc. Hopefully behaviors really do level out as they age.

He’s a year younger. These are not his true peers. Maybe his last preschool did not prepare him, especially if it was play based.

His entire class isn't one year older. I just know of this one child in particular because I know his mother outside of school. His last wasn't play- based, but it doesn't seem like he was prepared at all which is why I'm so curious how it's decided whether to redshirt or not. For the record, I know my friend had zero plans to redshirt until the school pretty much said you can redshirt or be rejected, choice is yours.

I'd rather be rejected as it's not the right school fit to hold back a child based on its easier for the school vs. putting the time into the child to help them be successful.

Spending an extra year raising them is literally putting in the time.

That's not really how it works. And, if you put the time in early on you probably would not have needed to hold them back. At 18, senior year, anyone who has checked out, isn't going to put effort in when kids are 18/senior year. Be real.

Be real? What? My 18 year old senior crushed it. In academics, sports, socially, everything. Happy kid has had a great freshman year at Princeton so far as well.

And, be real. If you sent him on time, he probably would have crushed it too. But, you choose to infantile him by holding him back. He would have been crushing it as a sophomore where he should be.

You are a fool. You know nothing of my kid, let alone where he stood 13 years ago, family genetics with respect to maturing, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum. You just blather generalities. You have no idea where he should be and you have no idea, really about anything. Typical seldom right but never in doubter.

Right.. anything to justify the situation. Maturing... you didn't even give your kid the chance. I hope you had him in therapy if he was that immature. He needed support not held back.

Oh my God. Are you the same freak show who in a previous thread told me that since my late summer kid was socially and emotionally not ready for kindergarten, I should have put him through a full neuropsych evaluation and gotten him therapy, instead of.. just waiting a year? Despite the fact that just waiting a year got him exactly where he needed to be?

Your passion for pathologizing normal variations in development is truly terrifying.

If your child had social and emotional delays, yes, you should have gotten them help. Maybe you are why they were so delayed.

That’s right, sunshine, he had some kind of delay that was completely remediated by… waiting 12 months.

If waiting 12 months solves the problem without further intervention, I’m completely baffled why you think subjecting a child to extensive testing and therapy is somehow a better solution. Other than, of course, the violation of your invented natural law dictating a 12 month span in the classroom. As if multi-age classrooms haven’t been the practice for the greater part of human history…

It was not waiting 12 month. You put him with younger peers so he’s never had the chance to catch up. You failed him by ignoring it and holding him back. So, what looks to you as maturity is immaturity as he is being compared to with kids a year younger.

Do you even have kids? Young kids mature a TON in 12 months. Even 6 months makes a big difference.

But, they aren't maturing like you are saying. Because, what you are comparing them to are kids a full year younger, not kids their own age or kids older. Yes, 6-12 months makes a big difference but kids will learn more from older kids as the example. If your 5 year old is with 4 year olds, they will seem more mature but they are being held to a 4 year old standard as a 5 year old. So, therefore, they are less mature than the 4 year old if they behave the same way and they are 5.

Thousands of kids who have been redshirted and are now successful adults prove you wrong. If this didn't work, nobody would do it. Unfortunately for you, these kids are doing well and turn out just fine. Find a new hobby.

You are deflecting and entirely missing the point. Some will be fine, some will struggle. However, these kids should be provided with supports given their special needs.

DP. That vast majority don’t have special needs so…

And let's be honest. Most supports are a joke and don't work anyway, if you can even get the school to provide them. If more time makes a huge difference, it's a no brainer.

Even if there is no concern about maturity more time in preschool can be a gift.

Agreed. Sometimes a delay is just a delay, with time kids catch up and no additional help or support is needed. Because kids don't all mature and develop at exactly the same rate. It's shocking people refuse to acknowledge basic facts.

And, did you have a professional decide that or you just held back for your own benefit? I cannot imagine a professional recommending holding back without other supports in place. Your kids aren't more mature when you hold them back. They still have delays. But, you are changing their peer group to a younger group so they appear older and smarter than those kids to you but its artificial given your kids are not with their true peers.

What do you consider a professional? Do the preschool teacher, future kindergarten teacher, and pediatrician count? Because that's what they recommended. I take their input over yours any day.

I would consider someone a psychologist or developmental ped. A preschool teacher or K. teacher is not qualified or trained in that area. Nor are a lot of ped.'s A preschool teacher at best has a generic 4 year degree in anything.

If they are recommending holding back without services and support they are way out of their league. They should recommend an evaluation.

You're so full of it. You don't get a say and your opinion is worthless.

A preschool teacher does not have the qualifications nor does a K. teacher. You are using them as a scapegoat. Nor does a 10 minute ped. appointment. If your child has to be held back, they have a delay, disorder or SN and need help. What are your qualifications to hold back a child and not understand that?

Lol and you’re qualified as an armchair internet troll on an anonymous forum? The bottom line of redshirting is that your kid is expected to be within a 12-16 month range of development. Research shows the disadvantage of being on the younger side of that spectrum. cry about it all you want, but parents who have the choice between their children being more at risk as the youngest are making the safe call by holding them to be older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the school, you won’t have much of a choice. Many of them redshirt kids back to may for K entry.

So how is this decided? My June boy was not redshirted by the school, but my friend's son was. They are 1 year apart and in the same class. Watching the class engage, I feel like my son is too young for K. He's that one kid who doesn't sit still, doesn't listen the first time, is constantly disturbing other children, making poor choices, etc. Hopefully behaviors really do level out as they age.

He’s a year younger. These are not his true peers. Maybe his last preschool did not prepare him, especially if it was play based.

His entire class isn't one year older. I just know of this one child in particular because I know his mother outside of school. His last wasn't play- based, but it doesn't seem like he was prepared at all which is why I'm so curious how it's decided whether to redshirt or not. For the record, I know my friend had zero plans to redshirt until the school pretty much said you can redshirt or be rejected, choice is yours.

I'd rather be rejected as it's not the right school fit to hold back a child based on its easier for the school vs. putting the time into the child to help them be successful.

Spending an extra year raising them is literally putting in the time.

That's not really how it works. And, if you put the time in early on you probably would not have needed to hold them back. At 18, senior year, anyone who has checked out, isn't going to put effort in when kids are 18/senior year. Be real.

Be real? What? My 18 year old senior crushed it. In academics, sports, socially, everything. Happy kid has had a great freshman year at Princeton so far as well.

And, be real. If you sent him on time, he probably would have crushed it too. But, you choose to infantile him by holding him back. He would have been crushing it as a sophomore where he should be.

You are a fool. You know nothing of my kid, let alone where he stood 13 years ago, family genetics with respect to maturing, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum. You just blather generalities. You have no idea where he should be and you have no idea, really about anything. Typical seldom right but never in doubter.

Right.. anything to justify the situation. Maturing... you didn't even give your kid the chance. I hope you had him in therapy if he was that immature. He needed support not held back.

Oh my God. Are you the same freak show who in a previous thread told me that since my late summer kid was socially and emotionally not ready for kindergarten, I should have put him through a full neuropsych evaluation and gotten him therapy, instead of.. just waiting a year? Despite the fact that just waiting a year got him exactly where he needed to be?

Your passion for pathologizing normal variations in development is truly terrifying.

If your child had social and emotional delays, yes, you should have gotten them help. Maybe you are why they were so delayed.

That’s right, sunshine, he had some kind of delay that was completely remediated by… waiting 12 months.

If waiting 12 months solves the problem without further intervention, I’m completely baffled why you think subjecting a child to extensive testing and therapy is somehow a better solution. Other than, of course, the violation of your invented natural law dictating a 12 month span in the classroom. As if multi-age classrooms haven’t been the practice for the greater part of human history…

It was not waiting 12 month. You put him with younger peers so he’s never had the chance to catch up. You failed him by ignoring it and holding him back. So, what looks to you as maturity is immaturity as he is being compared to with kids a year younger.

Do you even have kids? Young kids mature a TON in 12 months. Even 6 months makes a big difference.

But, they aren't maturing like you are saying. Because, what you are comparing them to are kids a full year younger, not kids their own age or kids older. Yes, 6-12 months makes a big difference but kids will learn more from older kids as the example. If your 5 year old is with 4 year olds, they will seem more mature but they are being held to a 4 year old standard as a 5 year old. So, therefore, they are less mature than the 4 year old if they behave the same way and they are 5.

Thousands of kids who have been redshirted and are now successful adults prove you wrong. If this didn't work, nobody would do it. Unfortunately for you, these kids are doing well and turn out just fine. Find a new hobby.

You are deflecting and entirely missing the point. Some will be fine, some will struggle. However, these kids should be provided with supports given their special needs.

DP. That vast majority don’t have special needs so…

And let's be honest. Most supports are a joke and don't work anyway, if you can even get the school to provide them. If more time makes a huge difference, it's a no brainer.

Even if there is no concern about maturity more time in preschool can be a gift.

Agreed. Sometimes a delay is just a delay, with time kids catch up and no additional help or support is needed. Because kids don't all mature and develop at exactly the same rate. It's shocking people refuse to acknowledge basic facts.

And, did you have a professional decide that or you just held back for your own benefit? I cannot imagine a professional recommending holding back without other supports in place. Your kids aren't more mature when you hold them back. They still have delays. But, you are changing their peer group to a younger group so they appear older and smarter than those kids to you but its artificial given your kids are not with their true peers.

What do you consider a professional? Do the preschool teacher, future kindergarten teacher, and pediatrician count? Because that's what they recommended. I take their input over yours any day.

I would consider someone a psychologist or developmental ped. A preschool teacher or K. teacher is not qualified or trained in that area. Nor are a lot of ped.'s A preschool teacher at best has a generic 4 year degree in anything.

If they are recommending holding back without services and support they are way out of their league. They should recommend an evaluation.

You're so full of it. You don't get a say and your opinion is worthless.

A preschool teacher does not have the qualifications nor does a K. teacher. You are using them as a scapegoat. Nor does a 10 minute ped. appointment. If your child has to be held back, they have a delay, disorder or SN and need help. What are your qualifications to hold back a child and not understand that?

Lol and you’re qualified as an armchair internet troll on an anonymous forum? The bottom line of redshirting is that your kid is expected to be within a 12-16 month range of development. Research shows the disadvantage of being on the younger side of that spectrum. cry about it all you want, but parents who have the choice between their children being more at risk as the youngest are making the safe call by holding them to be older.

Reaseach like that is skewed to the results the reacher and reader want. It’s not healthy to have an 18 month age range in a classroom and it harms the kids held back as they are not maturing and getting the skills they need. Their birthday is essentially being reduced by a year so the expectations are changed for them.

If your kid needs to be held back you need to get them help. Preschool teachers are not qualified. They have no training at all. Our preschool missed huge red flags but thankfully I saw it and got my child help early.

If your kids are at risk you get them help. This is not about the kids but parents gaming the system so their less smart kids will get into the privates, magnets and sports.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had redshirted my early summer boy. Read the article called something like “Let’s Redshirt All the Boys.” I think it was in The Atlantic.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the school, you won’t have much of a choice. Many of them redshirt kids back to may for K entry.

So how is this decided? My June boy was not redshirted by the school, but my friend's son was. They are 1 year apart and in the same class. Watching the class engage, I feel like my son is too young for K. He's that one kid who doesn't sit still, doesn't listen the first time, is constantly disturbing other children, making poor choices, etc. Hopefully behaviors really do level out as they age.

He’s a year younger. These are not his true peers. Maybe his last preschool did not prepare him, especially if it was play based.

His entire class isn't one year older. I just know of this one child in particular because I know his mother outside of school. His last wasn't play- based, but it doesn't seem like he was prepared at all which is why I'm so curious how it's decided whether to redshirt or not. For the record, I know my friend had zero plans to redshirt until the school pretty much said you can redshirt or be rejected, choice is yours.

I'd rather be rejected as it's not the right school fit to hold back a child based on its easier for the school vs. putting the time into the child to help them be successful.

Spending an extra year raising them is literally putting in the time.

That's not really how it works. And, if you put the time in early on you probably would not have needed to hold them back. At 18, senior year, anyone who has checked out, isn't going to put effort in when kids are 18/senior year. Be real.

Be real? What? My 18 year old senior crushed it. In academics, sports, socially, everything. Happy kid has had a great freshman year at Princeton so far as well.

And, be real. If you sent him on time, he probably would have crushed it too. But, you choose to infantile him by holding him back. He would have been crushing it as a sophomore where he should be.

You are a fool. You know nothing of my kid, let alone where he stood 13 years ago, family genetics with respect to maturing, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum. You just blather generalities. You have no idea where he should be and you have no idea, really about anything. Typical seldom right but never in doubter.

Right.. anything to justify the situation. Maturing... you didn't even give your kid the chance. I hope you had him in therapy if he was that immature. He needed support not held back.

Oh my God. Are you the same freak show who in a previous thread told me that since my late summer kid was socially and emotionally not ready for kindergarten, I should have put him through a full neuropsych evaluation and gotten him therapy, instead of.. just waiting a year? Despite the fact that just waiting a year got him exactly where he needed to be?

Your passion for pathologizing normal variations in development is truly terrifying.

If your child had social and emotional delays, yes, you should have gotten them help. Maybe you are why they were so delayed.

That’s right, sunshine, he had some kind of delay that was completely remediated by… waiting 12 months.

If waiting 12 months solves the problem without further intervention, I’m completely baffled why you think subjecting a child to extensive testing and therapy is somehow a better solution. Other than, of course, the violation of your invented natural law dictating a 12 month span in the classroom. As if multi-age classrooms haven’t been the practice for the greater part of human history…

It was not waiting 12 month. You put him with younger peers so he’s never had the chance to catch up. You failed him by ignoring it and holding him back. So, what looks to you as maturity is immaturity as he is being compared to with kids a year younger.

Do you even have kids? Young kids mature a TON in 12 months. Even 6 months makes a big difference.

But, they aren't maturing like you are saying. Because, what you are comparing them to are kids a full year younger, not kids their own age or kids older. Yes, 6-12 months makes a big difference but kids will learn more from older kids as the example. If your 5 year old is with 4 year olds, they will seem more mature but they are being held to a 4 year old standard as a 5 year old. So, therefore, they are less mature than the 4 year old if they behave the same way and they are 5.

Thousands of kids who have been redshirted and are now successful adults prove you wrong. If this didn't work, nobody would do it. Unfortunately for you, these kids are doing well and turn out just fine. Find a new hobby.

You are deflecting and entirely missing the point. Some will be fine, some will struggle. However, these kids should be provided with supports given their special needs.

DP. That vast majority don’t have special needs so…

And let's be honest. Most supports are a joke and don't work anyway, if you can even get the school to provide them. If more time makes a huge difference, it's a no brainer.

Even if there is no concern about maturity more time in preschool can be a gift.

Agreed. Sometimes a delay is just a delay, with time kids catch up and no additional help or support is needed. Because kids don't all mature and develop at exactly the same rate. It's shocking people refuse to acknowledge basic facts.

And, did you have a professional decide that or you just held back for your own benefit? I cannot imagine a professional recommending holding back without other supports in place. Your kids aren't more mature when you hold them back. They still have delays. But, you are changing their peer group to a younger group so they appear older and smarter than those kids to you but its artificial given your kids are not with their true peers.

What do you consider a professional? Do the preschool teacher, future kindergarten teacher, and pediatrician count? Because that's what they recommended. I take their input over yours any day.

I would consider someone a psychologist or developmental ped. A preschool teacher or K. teacher is not qualified or trained in that area. Nor are a lot of ped.'s A preschool teacher at best has a generic 4 year degree in anything.

If they are recommending holding back without services and support they are way out of their league. They should recommend an evaluation.

You're so full of it. You don't get a say and your opinion is worthless.

A preschool teacher does not have the qualifications nor does a K. teacher. You are using them as a scapegoat. Nor does a 10 minute ped. appointment. If your child has to be held back, they have a delay, disorder or SN and need help. What are your qualifications to hold back a child and not understand that?

Lol and you’re qualified as an armchair internet troll on an anonymous forum? The bottom line of redshirting is that your kid is expected to be within a 12-16 month range of development. Research shows the disadvantage of being on the younger side of that spectrum. cry about it all you want, but parents who have the choice between their children being more at risk as the youngest are making the safe call by holding them to be older.

Reaseach like that is skewed to the results the reacher and reader want. It’s not healthy to have an 18 month age range in a classroom and it harms the kids held back as they are not maturing and getting the skills they need. Their birthday is essentially being reduced by a year so the expectations are changed for them.

If your kid needs to be held back you need to get them help. Preschool teachers are not qualified. They have no training at all. Our preschool missed huge red flags but thankfully I saw it and got my child help early.

If your kids are at risk you get them help. This is not about the kids but parents gaming the system so their less smart kids will get into the privates, magnets and sports.

I just posted that I wish I had redshirted. It is not about wanting to game the system. It’s about his brain having time to catch up with his body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the school, you won’t have much of a choice. Many of them redshirt kids back to may for K entry.

So how is this decided? My June boy was not redshirted by the school, but my friend's son was. They are 1 year apart and in the same class. Watching the class engage, I feel like my son is too young for K. He's that one kid who doesn't sit still, doesn't listen the first time, is constantly disturbing other children, making poor choices, etc. Hopefully behaviors really do level out as they age.

He’s a year younger. These are not his true peers. Maybe his last preschool did not prepare him, especially if it was play based.

His entire class isn't one year older. I just know of this one child in particular because I know his mother outside of school. His last wasn't play- based, but it doesn't seem like he was prepared at all which is why I'm so curious how it's decided whether to redshirt or not. For the record, I know my friend had zero plans to redshirt until the school pretty much said you can redshirt or be rejected, choice is yours.

I'd rather be rejected as it's not the right school fit to hold back a child based on its easier for the school vs. putting the time into the child to help them be successful.

Spending an extra year raising them is literally putting in the time.

That's not really how it works. And, if you put the time in early on you probably would not have needed to hold them back. At 18, senior year, anyone who has checked out, isn't going to put effort in when kids are 18/senior year. Be real.

Be real? What? My 18 year old senior crushed it. In academics, sports, socially, everything. Happy kid has had a great freshman year at Princeton so far as well.

And, be real. If you sent him on time, he probably would have crushed it too. But, you choose to infantile him by holding him back. He would have been crushing it as a sophomore where he should be.

You are a fool. You know nothing of my kid, let alone where he stood 13 years ago, family genetics with respect to maturing, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum. You just blather generalities. You have no idea where he should be and you have no idea, really about anything. Typical seldom right but never in doubter.

Right.. anything to justify the situation. Maturing... you didn't even give your kid the chance. I hope you had him in therapy if he was that immature. He needed support not held back.

Oh my God. Are you the same freak show who in a previous thread told me that since my late summer kid was socially and emotionally not ready for kindergarten, I should have put him through a full neuropsych evaluation and gotten him therapy, instead of.. just waiting a year? Despite the fact that just waiting a year got him exactly where he needed to be?

Your passion for pathologizing normal variations in development is truly terrifying.

If your child had social and emotional delays, yes, you should have gotten them help. Maybe you are why they were so delayed.

That’s right, sunshine, he had some kind of delay that was completely remediated by… waiting 12 months.

If waiting 12 months solves the problem without further intervention, I’m completely baffled why you think subjecting a child to extensive testing and therapy is somehow a better solution. Other than, of course, the violation of your invented natural law dictating a 12 month span in the classroom. As if multi-age classrooms haven’t been the practice for the greater part of human history…

It was not waiting 12 month. You put him with younger peers so he’s never had the chance to catch up. You failed him by ignoring it and holding him back. So, what looks to you as maturity is immaturity as he is being compared to with kids a year younger.

Do you even have kids? Young kids mature a TON in 12 months. Even 6 months makes a big difference.

But, they aren't maturing like you are saying. Because, what you are comparing them to are kids a full year younger, not kids their own age or kids older. Yes, 6-12 months makes a big difference but kids will learn more from older kids as the example. If your 5 year old is with 4 year olds, they will seem more mature but they are being held to a 4 year old standard as a 5 year old. So, therefore, they are less mature than the 4 year old if they behave the same way and they are 5.

Thousands of kids who have been redshirted and are now successful adults prove you wrong. If this didn't work, nobody would do it. Unfortunately for you, these kids are doing well and turn out just fine. Find a new hobby.

You are deflecting and entirely missing the point. Some will be fine, some will struggle. However, these kids should be provided with supports given their special needs.

DP. That vast majority don’t have special needs so…

And let's be honest. Most supports are a joke and don't work anyway, if you can even get the school to provide them. If more time makes a huge difference, it's a no brainer.

Even if there is no concern about maturity more time in preschool can be a gift.

Agreed. Sometimes a delay is just a delay, with time kids catch up and no additional help or support is needed. Because kids don't all mature and develop at exactly the same rate. It's shocking people refuse to acknowledge basic facts.

And, did you have a professional decide that or you just held back for your own benefit? I cannot imagine a professional recommending holding back without other supports in place. Your kids aren't more mature when you hold them back. They still have delays. But, you are changing their peer group to a younger group so they appear older and smarter than those kids to you but its artificial given your kids are not with their true peers.

What do you consider a professional? Do the preschool teacher, future kindergarten teacher, and pediatrician count? Because that's what they recommended. I take their input over yours any day.

I would consider someone a psychologist or developmental ped. A preschool teacher or K. teacher is not qualified or trained in that area. Nor are a lot of ped.'s A preschool teacher at best has a generic 4 year degree in anything.

If they are recommending holding back without services and support they are way out of their league. They should recommend an evaluation.

You're so full of it. You don't get a say and your opinion is worthless.

A preschool teacher does not have the qualifications nor does a K. teacher. You are using them as a scapegoat. Nor does a 10 minute ped. appointment. If your child has to be held back, they have a delay, disorder or SN and need help. What are your qualifications to hold back a child and not understand that?

Lol and you’re qualified as an armchair internet troll on an anonymous forum? The bottom line of redshirting is that your kid is expected to be within a 12-16 month range of development. Research shows the disadvantage of being on the younger side of that spectrum. cry about it all you want, but parents who have the choice between their children being more at risk as the youngest are making the safe call by holding them to be older.

Reaseach like that is skewed to the results the reacher and reader want. It’s not healthy to have an 18 month age range in a classroom and it harms the kids held back as they are not maturing and getting the skills they need. Their birthday is essentially being reduced by a year so the expectations are changed for them.

If your kid needs to be held back you need to get them help. Preschool teachers are not qualified. They have no training at all. Our preschool missed huge red flags but thankfully I saw it and got my child help early.

If your kids are at risk you get them help. This is not about the kids but parents gaming the system so their less smart kids will get into the privates, magnets and sports.

So you’re telling me that it’s okay to compare a January 1st, 2018 baby to a December 31st, 2018 baby and if the 12/31 baby needs to be held back because at a full year younger than the 1/1 baby, they have a special need? How do you not see the idiocy of the point you keep trying (and failing) to make?

In addition, no one here invented redshirting. Everyone who has a young child will have to deal with many kids in the grade who are 12+ older than theirs. They have to make the same decision to avoid it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

No, I didn’t. She was fine academically. She followed direction, she listened to the teacher, she was very well behaved. She, however, had trouble with friends. It was really heartbreaking to see how “behind” she was and how much that made her suffer. There are plenty of 5 year old “mean” girls in K. Allowing my DD to be among the oldest (never actually been the oldest in the class) gave her the confidence she needed and the time to catch up to be a PEER. It was the best choice for her. Could she do more academically than she is doing now? Yes… she is advanced in her class which means that she would have been 100% academically 1 year ahead, but at what cost? Her happiness? I don’t care… she is happy and well adjusted now with a solid group of friends. That was all I cared about… not give her some sort of academic advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

Also, the youngest girl in the k class my daughter attended, ended up being 10 months younger than my DD. I think there was an 11 month spread in K and there has never been a student a whole year younger than my DD. Redshirting her did not change the “traditional” class set up at all

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

No, I didn’t. She was fine academically. She followed direction, she listened to the teacher, she was very well behaved. She, however, had trouble with friends. It was really heartbreaking to see how “behind” she was and how much that made her suffer. There are plenty of 5 year old “mean” girls in K. Allowing my DD to be among the oldest (never actually been the oldest in the class) gave her the confidence she needed and the time to catch up to be a PEER. It was the best choice for her. Could she do more academically than she is doing now? Yes… she is advanced in her class which means that she would have been 100% academically 1 year ahead, but at what cost? Her happiness? I don’t care… she is happy and well adjusted now with a solid group of friends. That was all I cared about… not give her some sort of academic advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

No, I didn’t. She was fine academically. She followed direction, she listened to the teacher, she was very well behaved. She, however, had trouble with friends. It was really heartbreaking to see how “behind” she was and how much that made her suffer. There are plenty of 5 year old “mean” girls in K. Allowing my DD to be among the oldest (never actually been the oldest in the class) gave her the confidence she needed and the time to catch up to be a PEER. It was the best choice for her. Could she do more academically than she is doing now? Yes… she is advanced in her class which means that she would have been 100% academically 1 year ahead, but at what cost? Her happiness? I don’t care… she is happy and well adjusted now with a solid group of friends. That was all I cared about… not give her some sort of academic advantage.

Also, the youngest girl in the k class my daughter attended, ended up being 10 months younger than my DD. I think there was an 11 month spread in K and there has never been a student a whole year younger than my DD. Redshirting her did not change the “traditional” class set up at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the school, you won’t have much of a choice. Many of them redshirt kids back to may for K entry.

So how is this decided? My June boy was not redshirted by the school, but my friend's son was. They are 1 year apart and in the same class. Watching the class engage, I feel like my son is too young for K. He's that one kid who doesn't sit still, doesn't listen the first time, is constantly disturbing other children, making poor choices, etc. Hopefully behaviors really do level out as they age.

He’s a year younger. These are not his true peers. Maybe his last preschool did not prepare him, especially if it was play based.

His entire class isn't one year older. I just know of this one child in particular because I know his mother outside of school. His last wasn't play- based, but it doesn't seem like he was prepared at all which is why I'm so curious how it's decided whether to redshirt or not. For the record, I know my friend had zero plans to redshirt until the school pretty much said you can redshirt or be rejected, choice is yours.

I'd rather be rejected as it's not the right school fit to hold back a child based on its easier for the school vs. putting the time into the child to help them be successful.

Spending an extra year raising them is literally putting in the time.

That's not really how it works. And, if you put the time in early on you probably would not have needed to hold them back. At 18, senior year, anyone who has checked out, isn't going to put effort in when kids are 18/senior year. Be real.

Be real? What? My 18 year old senior crushed it. In academics, sports, socially, everything. Happy kid has had a great freshman year at Princeton so far as well.

And, be real. If you sent him on time, he probably would have crushed it too. But, you choose to infantile him by holding him back. He would have been crushing it as a sophomore where he should be.

You are a fool. You know nothing of my kid, let alone where he stood 13 years ago, family genetics with respect to maturing, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum. You just blather generalities. You have no idea where he should be and you have no idea, really about anything. Typical seldom right but never in doubter.

Right.. anything to justify the situation. Maturing... you didn't even give your kid the chance. I hope you had him in therapy if he was that immature. He needed support not held back.

Oh my God. Are you the same freak show who in a previous thread told me that since my late summer kid was socially and emotionally not ready for kindergarten, I should have put him through a full neuropsych evaluation and gotten him therapy, instead of.. just waiting a year? Despite the fact that just waiting a year got him exactly where he needed to be?

Your passion for pathologizing normal variations in development is truly terrifying.

If your child had social and emotional delays, yes, you should have gotten them help. Maybe you are why they were so delayed.

That’s right, sunshine, he had some kind of delay that was completely remediated by… waiting 12 months.

If waiting 12 months solves the problem without further intervention, I’m completely baffled why you think subjecting a child to extensive testing and therapy is somehow a better solution. Other than, of course, the violation of your invented natural law dictating a 12 month span in the classroom. As if multi-age classrooms haven’t been the practice for the greater part of human history…

It was not waiting 12 month. You put him with younger peers so he’s never had the chance to catch up. You failed him by ignoring it and holding him back. So, what looks to you as maturity is immaturity as he is being compared to with kids a year younger.

Do you even have kids? Young kids mature a TON in 12 months. Even 6 months makes a big difference.

But, they aren't maturing like you are saying. Because, what you are comparing them to are kids a full year younger, not kids their own age or kids older. Yes, 6-12 months makes a big difference but kids will learn more from older kids as the example. If your 5 year old is with 4 year olds, they will seem more mature but they are being held to a 4 year old standard as a 5 year old. So, therefore, they are less mature than the 4 year old if they behave the same way and they are 5.

Thousands of kids who have been redshirted and are now successful adults prove you wrong. If this didn't work, nobody would do it. Unfortunately for you, these kids are doing well and turn out just fine. Find a new hobby.

You are deflecting and entirely missing the point. Some will be fine, some will struggle. However, these kids should be provided with supports given their special needs.

DP. That vast majority don’t have special needs so…

And let's be honest. Most supports are a joke and don't work anyway, if you can even get the school to provide them. If more time makes a huge difference, it's a no brainer.

Even if there is no concern about maturity more time in preschool can be a gift.

Agreed. Sometimes a delay is just a delay, with time kids catch up and no additional help or support is needed. Because kids don't all mature and develop at exactly the same rate. It's shocking people refuse to acknowledge basic facts.

And, did you have a professional decide that or you just held back for your own benefit? I cannot imagine a professional recommending holding back without other supports in place. Your kids aren't more mature when you hold them back. They still have delays. But, you are changing their peer group to a younger group so they appear older and smarter than those kids to you but its artificial given your kids are not with their true peers.

What do you consider a professional? Do the preschool teacher, future kindergarten teacher, and pediatrician count? Because that's what they recommended. I take their input over yours any day.

I would consider someone a psychologist or developmental ped. A preschool teacher or K. teacher is not qualified or trained in that area. Nor are a lot of ped.'s A preschool teacher at best has a generic 4 year degree in anything.

If they are recommending holding back without services and support they are way out of their league. They should recommend an evaluation.

You're so full of it. You don't get a say and your opinion is worthless.

A preschool teacher does not have the qualifications nor does a K. teacher. You are using them as a scapegoat. Nor does a 10 minute ped. appointment. If your child has to be held back, they have a delay, disorder or SN and need help. What are your qualifications to hold back a child and not understand that?

Lol and you’re qualified as an armchair internet troll on an anonymous forum? The bottom line of redshirting is that your kid is expected to be within a 12-16 month range of development. Research shows the disadvantage of being on the younger side of that spectrum. cry about it all you want, but parents who have the choice between their children being more at risk as the youngest are making the safe call by holding them to be older.

Reaseach like that is skewed to the results the reacher and reader want. It’s not healthy to have an 18 month age range in a classroom and it harms the kids held back as they are not maturing and getting the skills they need. Their birthday is essentially being reduced by a year so the expectations are changed for them.

If your kid needs to be held back you need to get them help. Preschool teachers are not qualified. They have no training at all. Our preschool missed huge red flags but thankfully I saw it and got my child help early.

If your kids are at risk you get them help. This is not about the kids but parents gaming the system so their less smart kids will get into the privates, magnets and sports.

So you’re telling me that it’s okay to compare a January 1st, 2018 baby to a December 31st, 2018 baby and if the 12/31 baby needs to be held back because at a full year younger than the 1/1 baby, they have a special need? How do you not see the idiocy of the point you keep trying (and failing) to make?

In addition, no one here invented redshirting. Everyone who has a young child will have to deal with many kids in the grade who are 12+ older than theirs. They have to make the same decision to avoid it.

The natural law troll would insist that the only group that it is acceptable to compare The 12/31/18 baby is everyone also born in 2018. Apparently the 1/1/19 baby, born a day later, is not a peer, and they have nothing in common. Your peer can only be younger than you. How convenient for all the January 2018 babies and how incredibly inconvenient to the December 2018 babies. But tough shit for those 5 year olds! Sink or swim!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the school, you won’t have much of a choice. Many of them redshirt kids back to may for K entry.

So how is this decided? My June boy was not redshirted by the school, but my friend's son was. They are 1 year apart and in the same class. Watching the class engage, I feel like my son is too young for K. He's that one kid who doesn't sit still, doesn't listen the first time, is constantly disturbing other children, making poor choices, etc. Hopefully behaviors really do level out as they age.

He’s a year younger. These are not his true peers. Maybe his last preschool did not prepare him, especially if it was play based.

His entire class isn't one year older. I just know of this one child in particular because I know his mother outside of school. His last wasn't play- based, but it doesn't seem like he was prepared at all which is why I'm so curious how it's decided whether to redshirt or not. For the record, I know my friend had zero plans to redshirt until the school pretty much said you can redshirt or be rejected, choice is yours.

I'd rather be rejected as it's not the right school fit to hold back a child based on its easier for the school vs. putting the time into the child to help them be successful.

Spending an extra year raising them is literally putting in the time.

That's not really how it works. And, if you put the time in early on you probably would not have needed to hold them back. At 18, senior year, anyone who has checked out, isn't going to put effort in when kids are 18/senior year. Be real.

Be real? What? My 18 year old senior crushed it. In academics, sports, socially, everything. Happy kid has had a great freshman year at Princeton so far as well.

And, be real. If you sent him on time, he probably would have crushed it too. But, you choose to infantile him by holding him back. He would have been crushing it as a sophomore where he should be.

You are a fool. You know nothing of my kid, let alone where he stood 13 years ago, family genetics with respect to maturing, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum. You just blather generalities. You have no idea where he should be and you have no idea, really about anything. Typical seldom right but never in doubter.

Right.. anything to justify the situation. Maturing... you didn't even give your kid the chance. I hope you had him in therapy if he was that immature. He needed support not held back.

Oh my God. Are you the same freak show who in a previous thread told me that since my late summer kid was socially and emotionally not ready for kindergarten, I should have put him through a full neuropsych evaluation and gotten him therapy, instead of.. just waiting a year? Despite the fact that just waiting a year got him exactly where he needed to be?

Your passion for pathologizing normal variations in development is truly terrifying.

If your child had social and emotional delays, yes, you should have gotten them help. Maybe you are why they were so delayed.

That’s right, sunshine, he had some kind of delay that was completely remediated by… waiting 12 months.

If waiting 12 months solves the problem without further intervention, I’m completely baffled why you think subjecting a child to extensive testing and therapy is somehow a better solution. Other than, of course, the violation of your invented natural law dictating a 12 month span in the classroom. As if multi-age classrooms haven’t been the practice for the greater part of human history…

It was not waiting 12 month. You put him with younger peers so he’s never had the chance to catch up. You failed him by ignoring it and holding him back. So, what looks to you as maturity is immaturity as he is being compared to with kids a year younger.

Do you even have kids? Young kids mature a TON in 12 months. Even 6 months makes a big difference.

But, they aren't maturing like you are saying. Because, what you are comparing them to are kids a full year younger, not kids their own age or kids older. Yes, 6-12 months makes a big difference but kids will learn more from older kids as the example. If your 5 year old is with 4 year olds, they will seem more mature but they are being held to a 4 year old standard as a 5 year old. So, therefore, they are less mature than the 4 year old if they behave the same way and they are 5.

Thousands of kids who have been redshirted and are now successful adults prove you wrong. If this didn't work, nobody would do it. Unfortunately for you, these kids are doing well and turn out just fine. Find a new hobby.

You are deflecting and entirely missing the point. Some will be fine, some will struggle. However, these kids should be provided with supports given their special needs.

DP. That vast majority don’t have special needs so…

And let's be honest. Most supports are a joke and don't work anyway, if you can even get the school to provide them. If more time makes a huge difference, it's a no brainer.

Even if there is no concern about maturity more time in preschool can be a gift.

Agreed. Sometimes a delay is just a delay, with time kids catch up and no additional help or support is needed. Because kids don't all mature and develop at exactly the same rate. It's shocking people refuse to acknowledge basic facts.

And, did you have a professional decide that or you just held back for your own benefit? I cannot imagine a professional recommending holding back without other supports in place. Your kids aren't more mature when you hold them back. They still have delays. But, you are changing their peer group to a younger group so they appear older and smarter than those kids to you but its artificial given your kids are not with their true peers.

What do you consider a professional? Do the preschool teacher, future kindergarten teacher, and pediatrician count? Because that's what they recommended. I take their input over yours any day.

I would consider someone a psychologist or developmental ped. A preschool teacher or K. teacher is not qualified or trained in that area. Nor are a lot of ped.'s A preschool teacher at best has a generic 4 year degree in anything.

If they are recommending holding back without services and support they are way out of their league. They should recommend an evaluation.

You're so full of it. You don't get a say and your opinion is worthless.

A preschool teacher does not have the qualifications nor does a K. teacher. You are using them as a scapegoat. Nor does a 10 minute ped. appointment. If your child has to be held back, they have a delay, disorder or SN and need help. What are your qualifications to hold back a child and not understand that?

Lol and you’re qualified as an armchair internet troll on an anonymous forum? The bottom line of redshirting is that your kid is expected to be within a 12-16 month range of development. Research shows the disadvantage of being on the younger side of that spectrum. cry about it all you want, but parents who have the choice between their children being more at risk as the youngest are making the safe call by holding them to be older.

Reaseach like that is skewed to the results the reacher and reader want. It’s not healthy to have an 18 month age range in a classroom and it harms the kids held back as they are not maturing and getting the skills they need. Their birthday is essentially being reduced by a year so the expectations are changed for them.

If your kid needs to be held back you need to get them help. Preschool teachers are not qualified. They have no training at all. Our preschool missed huge red flags but thankfully I saw it and got my child help early.

If your kids are at risk you get them help. This is not about the kids but parents gaming the system so their less smart kids will get into the privates, magnets and sports.

So you’re telling me that it’s okay to compare a January 1st, 2018 baby to a December 31st, 2018 baby and if the 12/31 baby needs to be held back because at a full year younger than the 1/1 baby, they have a special need? How do you not see the idiocy of the point you keep trying (and failing) to make?

In addition, no one here invented redshirting. Everyone who has a young child will have to deal with many kids in the grade who are 12+ older than theirs. They have to make the same decision to avoid it.

The natural law troll would insist that the only group that it is acceptable to compare The 12/31/18 baby is everyone also born in 2018. Apparently the 1/1/19 baby, born a day later, is not a peer, and they have nothing in common. Your peer can only be younger than you. How convenient for all the January 2018 babies and how incredibly inconvenient to the December 2018 babies. But tough shit for those 5 year olds! Sink or swim!

Oops, a peer can only be older! Never a +/- 12 months.