Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
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Anonymous
| Context: both of my parents died of cancer, and suffered from cancer. Father got a stage iv lung cancer diagnosis and died within 4 months when he was in his fifties. Mother suffered and died from breast cancer over the course of two years in her sixties. One of my good friends at work is 40, has 4 kids and an aggressive form of brain cancer that's going to kill her. My friend had a melanoma, which is scary and cancer, removed from her toe. Needed no further treatment in terms of drugs, chemo, radiation etc. always refers to herself as a cancer survivor. Her mother has stage i colon cancer caught at her 50yo colonoscopy. Had it removed and needed no chemo etc. posts on Facebook things like 15 year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis, so glad to be cancer free. I want to slap this friend and her mom and be like fuck you you don't know what cancer is you assholes. Venting here because I can't in real life. Thanks. |
Anonymous
Cancer on her toe? That's kind of humorous. It totally get where you're coming from! Maybe you can post on her Facebook messages, "Yes! So glad your toe is cancer free!" 
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Anonymous
| While I see your point, melanoma is scary, and she's lucky. Cut her some slack. |
Anonymous
| I don't know. Hearing I had melanoma, anywhere, would be a pretty big deal to me. |
Anonymous
| Didn't Bob Marley have melanoma on his toe? |
Anonymous
| Melanoma can be deadly. Just to play devil's advocate, can you imagine the fear she lived through while going through diagnosis and figuring out if the cancer had spread, etc.? |
Anonymous
| Sadly I understand where you are coming from. My husband died recently of cancer, which has been heart breaking. When I read people's posts mentioning that they fought so hard so they overcame it by sheer personal will or that God saved them, I also cringe. My husband wanted to live as much as anyone but that f'ing disease killed him against his will. |
Anonymous
| Cool story, bro |
Anonymous
| OP, get off your cancer high horse. |
Anonymous
| I hear you, OP. My mother had a growth removed frpm her leg, which they biopsy as a matter of course, and it came back malignant. No further treatment needed. My father has some fairly serious health issues, but if they come up my mother interjects about being a cancer survivor. |
Anonymous
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I am very sorry about your parents & can understand how their suffering & deaths from cancer (particularly at relatively young ages) makes you more sensitive to things like this. That being said, melanoma is a scary diagnosis to get as melanoma is,by far, the deadliest form of skin cancer. I don'the know what stage your friend's melanoma was but is very possible to have stage 3 melanoma & not end up needing chemo, radiation, etc, but it generally takes several weeks from the diagnosis -- during which time something called a central node biopsy is performed -- to find out whether or not this kind of further treatment is necessary (& if it is, that means that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes &, generally speaking, melanoma does not have a good prognosis in these cases). If this was the case with your friend, I can see how going through those stressful weeks could have had a lasting effect on her. No, it is not the same thing as having to go through several months (or more) but it is still very difficult.
Also, even when it is diagnosed before it spreads to the lymph nodes, having had melanoma can negatively impact one'side projected life expectancy as it means that one's chances of being diagnosed with melanoma again or with other forms of cancer down the road is significantly heightened. In fact, even though survivors of most forms of cancer -- regardless of stage -- are eligible to donate bone marrow after being in remission for 5 years, all but stage 0 melanoma survivors are ineligible to donate bone marrow for the rest of their lives. Please try to have some empathy for what your frien has been through even if it does seem minor in comparison to what others, like your parents have suffered. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry that cancer has touched your life in so many ways. |
Anonymous
| This isn't the Pity Olympics. |
Anonymous
Um, people have died as a died as a direct result of melanoma on their toes. I'm sure their loved ones would be glad to hear you findo this so humorous 
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Anonymous
| I agree with you OP. A removal simply isn't the same as battling it, chemo, etc. That is truly fighting for your life for a length of time. |