At the end of my rope with low sex drive husband
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I do not know what to do. My husband would be very content with sex every 2, 3, maybe even 4 weeks. I would prefer to have sex maybe 4-5 times per week. I ENJOY sex. Not only do I struggle with the fact that our sex drives are so different, I struggle even more with the idea that he just doesn't want to have sex with me. How absolutely demeaning is it to fight with your spouse about having sex with you. It has destroyed any emotional component of it for me.
We should not have gotten married, it was so stupid. Now we are tied up financially and parentally with two small kids and the logistics of a divorce are so overwhelming to me. The latest, he is telling me that I am the one with an abnormal sex drive and that I should see a doctor (in response to me kindly suggesting that he should see a doctor to have his testosterone tested). I am attractive. I am not overweight. There is nothing wrong with my physical appearance at all whatsoever. Men hit on me constantly. I am a normal social person with friends, I am not a weirdo or anything. I also have a good job and a high income. I don't know why I am having to deal with this but it just sucks so much. Tonight I suggested an open marriage and that was unacceptable. What else can I do? |
Anonymous
|
He won't see a doctor.
He won't open the marriage. Doesn't leave much else. I'm sorry. |
Anonymous
| Get a divorce. I don't get two people staying together when they are not compatible. How miserable you both must be. |
Anonymous
|
Has your husband always been low drive?
I am in your same shoes with my DW. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
Yes, always, which is why it's dumb that we got married in the first place. I was rebounding off of a long term relationship when we met and I really just wanted stability. We are so incompatible on so many levels. |
Anonymous
First and foremost I feel badly about the kids. I feel like it would be selfish of me to put them in a broken home situation so I could have more sex. It would also be a logistical challenge and I worry about finances. |
Anonymous
| You knew what you were getting into when you made vows. He didn't change who he was or pretend to be something that he wasn't. Focus on what you have instead of what you don't. |
Anonymous
| FFS - find an AP. Be discreet and start planning your divorce. |
Anonymous
|
Sex is important. It's not just the physical release, it's the need to connect and bond. For many, not having that with a spouse is hell.
OP, you said you and DH are incompatible in other ways. Is he meeting your other needs? Emotional, etc.? Is sex is the tip of the iceberg of your problems? |
Anonymous
|
definitely needs his testosterone levels tested. My DH was similar and his were super low. After 2-3 weeks of daily testosterone gel he is ready to go!
Any chance your DH is gay? |
Anonymous
|
You say small kids. I'll guess the younger is 5.
You going to make it another 13ish years? Doesn't sound like it. Having miserable parents isn't good for them either. You said you earn plenty. |
Anonymous
| What the heck is the problem? He's okay for sex twice a month and everything else is okay? If guys are hitting on you all the time it is clearly because you are putting it out there. Reel it in. Take the offer of sex twice a month and get a lot of self satisfaction the rest of the month with as many marital aids as you can fit in the drawer. |
Anonymous
It would be exactly that |
Anonymous
Last sentence is correct but first two are gross presumptions . |
Anonymous
| Chronic masturbator |