My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

No, so my kid is not a threat to others but can get extremely distracted when there is chaos in the background and can't focus or be in a position to learn. There is a kid in their class now with an aide and that child also doesn't act out in a major distracting violent way. So it's just avoiding SN kids but seeking out an appropriate environment so they can succeed as well without being ignored or lost in the shuffle. You get what you pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

No, so my kid is not a threat to others but can get extremely distracted when there is chaos in the background and can't focus or be in a position to learn. There is a kid in their class now with an aide and that child also doesn't act out in a major distracting violent way. So it's NOT just avoiding SN kids but seeking out an appropriate environment so they can succeed as well without being ignored or lost in the shuffle. You get what you pay for.

edit to "Not avoiding SN kids"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

In a thread about kids being abused by other kids, which you don't seem remotely concerned by, suddenly you're bringing up the idea that it's terrible that kids might be abused? I guess you're indifferent when it's your kid as the abuser, that's not your problem or concern.

Child abuse isn’t child on child, it is child on adult. Children (under 8 or 9) legally cannot be held responsible for their actions because the people who make laws are smarter about child development than you are.

Clearly you are having a very hard time dealing with the idea that children have different brains. I hope you are always able to be sheltered from the systemic issues that plague special needs children and their parents. Just as I hope you have typically developing children, I hope that this is the worst you ever see of systemic issues because you are clearly incapable of dealing with them.

FWIW, my kid received awards for her citizenship skills. Perhaps because I understand and empathize with others and try to pass that on to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chair throwing seemed to be a big thing in DMV schools when we lived there. Our kids saw it, for sure. Then we moved, and it stopped happening. Maybe the chairs need to be glued to the floor in the DMV?

I’ve never seen it either or any kind of violence in elementary school at my kids schools. There must be quite a few chair throwers at your schools for some of you to make such a big deal about it.

In high school there were some general aides in some classes to help any student who needed it, not just the special Ed students. They also had classes for kids with learning disabilities as extra help. There was no violence. A lot of whining for something that is very rare, at least in most school systems.

Why do you think there might be differences in schools? Do you think people here are lying or do you think there could be a difference between your school and their school? Are all schools equal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

In a thread about kids being abused by other kids, which you don't seem remotely concerned by, suddenly you're bringing up the idea that it's terrible that kids might be abused? I guess you're indifferent when it's your kid as the abuser, that's not your problem or concern.

Child abuse isn’t child on child, it is child on adult. Children (under 8 or 9) legally cannot be held responsible for their actions because the people who make laws are smarter about child development than you are.

Clearly you are having a very hard time dealing with the idea that children have different brains. I hope you are always able to be sheltered from the systemic issues that plague special needs children and their parents. Just as I hope you have typically developing children, I hope that this is the worst you ever see of systemic issues because you are clearly incapable of dealing with them.

FWIW, my kid received awards for her citizenship skills. Perhaps because I understand and empathize with others and try to pass that on to her.

LOL citizenship skills? As if the most deserving kids ever win those awards. Oh the delusion....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

No, so my kid is not a threat to others but can get extremely distracted when there is chaos in the background and can't focus or be in a position to learn. There is a kid in their class now with an aide and that child also doesn't act out in a major distracting violent way. So it's just avoiding SN kids but seeking out an appropriate environment so they can succeed as well without being ignored or lost in the shuffle. You get what you pay for.

my point is that it is not possible and/or affordable to find a private school for a SN kid with behaviors. not sure why that is so hard for you to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

No, so my kid is not a threat to others but can get extremely distracted when there is chaos in the background and can't focus or be in a position to learn. There is a kid in their class now with an aide and that child also doesn't act out in a major distracting violent way. So it's just avoiding SN kids but seeking out an appropriate environment so they can succeed as well without being ignored or lost in the shuffle. You get what you pay for.

my point is that it is not possible and/or affordable to find a private school for a SN kid with behaviors. not sure why that is so hard for you to understand.

Externalizing behaviors are the 3rd rail. Supports are few and far when you get to that level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

No, so my kid is not a threat to others but can get extremely distracted when there is chaos in the background and can't focus or be in a position to learn. There is a kid in their class now with an aide and that child also doesn't act out in a major distracting violent way. So it's just avoiding SN kids but seeking out an appropriate environment so they can succeed as well without being ignored or lost in the shuffle. You get what you pay for.

my point is that it is not possible and/or affordable to find a private school for a SN kid with behaviors. not sure why that is so hard for you to understand.

My point which you will not understand is for wealthy people with options then need to exercise those options. We can talk past each other all day long because we're not talking about the same thing which you can't accept for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

Liar. I’ve literally never heard of this. Read the SN board. It’s the opposite- parents fighting to get kids into Bridge or the high functioning Autism programs in MoCo.

Well, you have very limited knowledge. This happens routinely. In fact my neighbors, HHI $1M+, are paying 75k for top boarding school for their neurotypical kid and paid thousands to a lawyer to keep their SN, on the spectrum kid in public. Requested and got an Aide plus tons of other accommodations. A good private will not have the SN kid and the parents refuse spec ed school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

Liar. I’ve literally never heard of this. Read the SN board. It’s the opposite- parents fighting to get kids into Bridge or the high functioning Autism programs in MoCo.

Well, you have very limited knowledge. This happens routinely. In fact my neighbors, HHI $1M+, are paying 75k for top boarding school for their neurotypical kid and paid thousands to a lawyer to keep their SN, on the spectrum kid in public. Requested and got an Aide plus tons of other accommodations. A good private will not have the SN kid and the parents refuse spec ed school.

I don’t understand what the problem is there. They obviously understand their child needs supports, and they fought to get them. You didn’t mention violent behaviors in the classroom, or anything else that indicates a problem in the general education setting.

It sounds like you just don’t want kids with special needs in the same class as your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

No, so my kid is not a threat to others but can get extremely distracted when there is chaos in the background and can't focus or be in a position to learn. There is a kid in their class now with an aide and that child also doesn't act out in a major distracting violent way. So it's just avoiding SN kids but seeking out an appropriate environment so they can succeed as well without being ignored or lost in the shuffle. You get what you pay for.

my point is that it is not possible and/or affordable to find a private school for a SN kid with behaviors. not sure why that is so hard for you to understand.

My point which you will not understand is for wealthy people with options then need to exercise those options. We can talk past each other all day long because we're not talking about the same thing which you can't accept for some reason.

Why the f do you think it is relevant to post about how the super wealthy should handle SN? You may as well post about how we should all have magic fairies come teach our kids to behave.

And FWIW this stuff isn’t simple for rich people. You actually can’t always throw money at it. And it can be a trap too - there are schools that are happy to take your money and abuse your kid (like Paris Hilton).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

Liar. I’ve literally never heard of this. Read the SN board. It’s the opposite- parents fighting to get kids into Bridge or the high functioning Autism programs in MoCo.

Well, you have very limited knowledge. This happens routinely. In fact my neighbors, HHI $1M+, are paying 75k for top boarding school for their neurotypical kid and paid thousands to a lawyer to keep their SN, on the spectrum kid in public. Requested and got an Aide plus tons of other accommodations. A good private will not have the SN kid and the parents refuse spec ed school.

You have zero clue. Sounds like they did a good job getting what their kid needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

Liar. I’ve literally never heard of this. Read the SN board. It’s the opposite- parents fighting to get kids into Bridge or the high functioning Autism programs in MoCo.

Well, you have very limited knowledge. This happens routinely. In fact my neighbors, HHI $1M+, are paying 75k for top boarding school for their neurotypical kid and paid thousands to a lawyer to keep their SN, on the spectrum kid in public. Requested and got an Aide plus tons of other accommodations. A good private will not have the SN kid and the parents refuse spec ed school.

I don’t understand what the problem is there. They obviously understand their child needs supports, and they fought to get them. You didn’t mention violent behaviors in the classroom, or anything else that indicates a problem in the general education setting.

It sounds like you just don’t want kids with special needs in the same class as your kids.

And they also have no clue what the alternative placements are. MCPS is unique in having grade-level/accelerated programs for kids on the spectrum and kids with emotional/behavioral issues. Other districts don’t have those options and you have to try to make it work in gen ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

Liar. I’ve literally never heard of this. Read the SN board. It’s the opposite- parents fighting to get kids into Bridge or the high functioning Autism programs in MoCo.

Well, you have very limited knowledge. This happens routinely. In fact my neighbors, HHI $1M+, are paying 75k for top boarding school for their neurotypical kid and paid thousands to a lawyer to keep their SN, on the spectrum kid in public. Requested and got an Aide plus tons of other accommodations. A good private will not have the SN kid and the parents refuse spec ed school.

I don’t understand what the problem is there. They obviously understand their child needs supports, and they fought to get them. You didn’t mention violent behaviors in the classroom, or anything else that indicates a problem in the general education setting.

It sounds like you just don’t want kids with special needs in the same class as your kids.

And they also have no clue what the alternative placements are. MCPS is unique in having grade-level/accelerated programs for kids on the spectrum and kids with emotional/behavioral issues. Other districts don’t have those options and you have to try to make it work in gen ed.

Why do you think your neighbor needs an alternative placement?

[Anonymous]

Every district should have two designated classrooms for each grade level for behavioral problems, split between various schools within the district. One for kids learning at grade level but unable to keep it together in class and one for the kids that have behavior issues plus learning delay