My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

It’s up to the schools to educate all kids including those with behavior issues. If in person is not the right placement it is up to the IEP team to make that decision and then find a virtual program that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

I think the burden here is on you to demonstrate that you’re not a propaganda program worker trying to stir up trouble by whipping up hysteria against children with disabilities.

If you’re a propaganda worker: Good work.

If you’re sincerely trying to support children with serious behavior disabilities: Keeping them in situations where they repeatedly hurt other children or disrupt other children’s learning isn’t good for anyone.

Children who repeatedly throw chairs in class are sending the message that they’re unhappy or overstimulated and be in a different environment than a regular classroom.

Keeping them in regular classroom hurts the other children and does them no favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

I think the burden here is on you to demonstrate that you’re not a propaganda program worker trying to stir up trouble by whipping up hysteria against children with disabilities.

If you’re a propaganda worker: Good work.

If you’re sincerely trying to support children with serious behavior disabilities: Keeping them in situations where they repeatedly hurt other children or disrupt other children’s learning isn’t good for anyone.

Children who repeatedly throw chairs in class are sending the message that they’re unhappy or overstimulated and be in a different environment than a regular classroom.

Keeping them in regular classroom hurts the other children and does them no favors.

And no one would want that maintained without changes. But simply moving all of those kids into segregated classrooms is not always necessary, practical, or legal. In some cases, a general education classroom is the proper setting, but the child needs additional support which can be provided in that setting.

But you don’t seem to get how hard it is to get schools to agree to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

And unfortunately for those kids, it is much easier for the school to suspend them.

As I said, that’s a very bad situation for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

And unfortunately for those kids, it is much easier for the school to suspend them.

As I said, that’s a very bad situation for everyone.

Actually, that is ideal for the rest of the kids in class that are there to learn and not acting out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

It’s up to the schools to educate all kids including those with behavior issues. If in person is not the right placement it is up to the IEP team to make that decision and then find a virtual program that works.

I have a SN kid and I wouldn’t let them near a public school. This thread explains it well.

[Anonymous]

Does the chair throwing stop in Middle
school? Are MS classrooms evacuated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Hilarious as my kid is one of those SN kids. But the public is a joke so we don't go there.

Does your kid have major externalizing behaviors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

Liar. I’ve literally never heard of this. Read the SN board. It’s the opposite- parents fighting to get kids into Bridge or the high functioning Autism programs in MoCo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

You think there’s an abundance of parents out there being offered special classroom placement and they’re fighting against that placement?

You’re so clearly out of touch with the SN community. I promise you school districts are not easily doling out alternative placements. If anything, parents are jumping through hoops to have their child placed. I don’t understand why you’re so obstinately obsessed with these kids and their families to the point of making false statements on an anonymous forum. It’s honestly getting a little creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chair throwing seemed to be a big thing in DMV schools when we lived there. Our kids saw it, for sure. Then we moved, and it stopped happening. Maybe the chairs need to be glued to the floor in the DMV?

I’ve never seen it either or any kind of violence in elementary school at my kids schools. There must be quite a few chair throwers at your schools for some of you to make such a big deal about it.

In high school there were some general aides in some classes to help any student who needed it, not just the special Ed students. They also had classes for kids with learning disabilities as extra help. There was no violence. A lot of whining for something that is very rare, at least in most school systems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing
well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

No, that’s not equally likely. The school district does not want to send kids to self-contained programs, partly because of LRE, but mostly because of cost and resources. And I don’t know anyone that’s fought a placement to a more supportive environment after attempts to bring in supports to the general education environment have failed. But many, many parents of kids with special needs can describe how hard it is to get the schools to provide those supports in the first place.

It’s still not equally likely, but there are some parents in denial about the situation and refuse assessments and special education services. And that’s a horrible situation for all the kids involved.

This routinely happens in top school districts. The parents, often well educated white collar workers, are in denial about the severity of their child’s condition. They don’t like the stigma, they don’t want their kids to be segregated, they are thinking about college admissions. Many believe with therapy and age they will “grow out of it”. It is mind boggling.

And unfortunately for those kids, it is much easier for the school to suspend them.

As I said, that’s a very bad situation for everyone.

Schools can't discipline these children if the violence is related to their disability. So the parents won't let them be segregated from the general population, but the student can't be given any consequences for their violence or outbursts. Which leads to more disruption and violence. It is an unfair system that punishes well behaved children and hurts everyone's education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can just sue the county and then get the county to pay for their private school for their kid who isn’t doing well being mainstreamed. This is happening — even for people who can afford the private on their own. The system is so broken — for all kids!

What a hollow victory to spend years fighting the school system while a kid languishes in a broken system. You don't get a do over once those years are lost.

way to miss the point. people sue because they *cannot afford or even access* the SN school. save your ire for the schools that don’t provide the proper services and placements.

Oh I guess you missed this part: even for people who can afford the private on their own
Those people are fools.

It’s a tiny, tiny percentage that can afford it. And as you have been told repeatedly- some of these schools don’t even take private pay. Even if they do, you still have to apply, and they may mot take your kid. and in many places the SN schools don’t even exist.

I know all you want is for SN kids to go away, but the problem is public schools failing to follow the law.

Not wanting my child in a class with a violent student =/= wanting SN kids to go away.

Blaming the parents, saying people who can’t afford 80k/year private schooling, arguing that public schools shouldn’t even exist, etc. sends a pretty clear message that you just want these kids gone and you don’t care where they go.

So, you are okay with violent children endangering others? In fact, you appear to be advocating for it. You think that other parents should just happily allow it because you won't take responsibility for your child's actions?

Omg talking to posters like you is like trying to get through to a brick wall.

Of course I’m not okay with it. And I don’t have a child throwing chairs so no, I don’t have any responsibility to take for this.

But I’m capable of carrying two thoughts in my head. I can both believe that the status quo isn’t working and *also* think we need to better serve these violent children without the need to blame the parents.

Why are you unable to manage complex thinking?

NP here, and the idea that parents are not responsible for the minors' actions is unreasonable.

I hope you have typically developing kids, or your kids will be abused by you.

I doubt he’d be able to stay around long enough to abuse them. He’d just abandon them, just as he’s proposing that schools and society do.

Parents need to know their kids and not put them in unsafe situations. It traumatizes both the kids and their classmates. Set them up to succeed, get them therapy, and do the right thing. In-person public school is a bad decision for many kids with behavior issues.

Even when it is a “bad decision,” it may be the best or only option. In many cases these are kids the school is capable of handling— the school may just not be willing to provide the necessary supports. And in cases where the school legitimately can’t handle them, the parents may be struggling to get the school to agree to an alternative placement.

Or, equally likely, the parents are actively fighting the school and refusing any sort of alternative placement, because they are dead set on the idea that their child would be fine if only everyone catered to them.

You think there’s an abundance of parents out there being offered special classroom placement and they’re fighting against that placement?

You’re so clearly out of touch with the SN community. I promise you school districts are not easily doling out alternative placements. If anything, parents are jumping through hoops to have their child placed. I don’t understand why you’re so obstinately obsessed with these kids and their families to the point of making false statements on an anonymous forum. It’s honestly getting a little creepy.

The flaw in your thinking is that these parents don't consider themselves part of the SN community and therefore don't participate in it. It's naive of you to think these parents don't exist. Teachers talk about it pretty frequently here. There are parents of special needs students who refuse to accept the label and fight against any alternative placement.