Teen son slapped my face, what should I do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes, younger son has mental health challenge, he is on medicine and has one to
one therapy weekly. Older son has never been violent to me before, he only got violent to
his brother when being provoked, he is much stronger, they are 2 years apart.
I didn’t want to take his phone and activities away. He has some social challenges, recently
has been trying to reaching out to find a friend circle, but is having a hard time. He already
feel socially isolated, I don’t want to make it worse. I feel the phone and outings(including
sports) is good for his metal health.

He went out for a sport activity the whole morning. He came back, apologized to me again,
I asked what for, he said he was angry, now he is not angry anymore. I didn’t say anything,
then he walked away.
I’m not ready to have a talk with him, because I don’t know what to do.

Has he apologized for hitting his mother in the face yet? Or just for being angry?

Why do you keep asking him what he's apologizing for? Is it some kind of mental mind-F? Isn't it frickin' obvious what he's apologizing for? It's like you're playing games with him, and it's horrible to even read. I can't imagine how you f#$@ with his head and how he experiences that. You need some serious help, OP, and I'm not saying that to be mean. You are the one who needs help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying they would hit their child back really helps me understand why this country is in the state it’s in.

Not one of those PPs, but if my teenage son hits me in the face, I’m not going to be a doormat about it.

Do you feel that hitting your kid is the only way not to be a “doormat?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to call the police before he does that to someone else.

This is the dumbest thing I have probably ever read.

That poster is clueless. That post is one of the stupidest things ever posted on dcum.

DP. It's very bad advice to the mother but it's a consideration she should have at front of mind. This behavior will absolutely result in her child's entanglement with the legal system and it will do so sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Where to find the right FAMILY THERAPY to work on messed up family dynamics? Young teen son has mood regulation problems, can get very angry, throw things, and hurt himself and family members. When he get into fight with older son, I tend to act in a way to ease younger son's anger, but I see this is not working.

Your one son sees a therapist weekly, you said. Call them ASAP and tell them there are additional issues with family violence and you need a referral to someone who does family treatment.

x1000 Call them even though it is a holiday. When you get the answering service, even though it is embarrassing, tell them what the PP said - that there are additional issues with family violence - and ask for an immediate call back.

[Anonymous]

I would have a family meeting where consequences are laid out, therapy is planned etc.

My 11 year old has emotional regulation issues that I worry about escalating into violence. So far so good, but it’s on my radar. I have been known to drop into conversation that when you put your hands on someone, it can be assault. I consider it part of understanding the real world.

Your kid is older and I absolutely would bring that up at the family meeting. But I would also absolutely involve a family therapist. Your younger kids practioner might know where to refer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes, younger son has mental health challenge, he is on medicine and has one to
one therapy weekly. Older son has never been violent to me before, he only got violent to
his brother when being provoked, he is much stronger, they are 2 years apart.
I didn’t want to take his phone and activities away. He has some social challenges, recently
has been trying to reaching out to find a friend circle, but is having a hard time. He already
feel socially isolated, I don’t want to make it worse. I feel the phone and outings(including
sports) is good for his metal health.

He went out for a sport activity the whole morning. He came back, apologized to me again,
I asked what for, he said he was angry, now he is not angry anymore. I didn’t say anything,
then he walked away.
I’m not ready to have a talk with him, because I don’t know what to do.

Has he apologized for hitting his mother in the face yet? Or just for being angry?

Why do you keep asking him what he's apologizing for? Is it some kind of mental mind-F? Isn't it frickin' obvious what he's apologizing for? It's like you're playing games with him, and it's horrible to even read. I can't imagine how you f#$@ with his head and how he experiences that. You need some serious help, OP, and I'm not saying that to be mean. You are the one who needs help.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the older boy is done with being physically abused by his younger sibling with mom excusing it. OP, how many times has your older son been hit or otherwise touched by his younger brother?

Yes this! I was the older sibling with a mentally ill younger sibling. My entire life was shaped and molded by the fact that everything was about younger sibling. Everything. Good bad and ugly it all came back to her needs and her holding the family hostage.

+1000000

OP, you’re disgusting!

[Anonymous]

Guys, this woman was just hit by her son. And she clearly has a difficult situation at home.

Can you all please be careful and kind with your tone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying they would hit their child back really helps me understand why this country is in the state it’s in.

Let me tell you something, crazy lady. If your teenage son hits me, I’m going to knock him into next week. It’s self-defense. It’s why I spent 20 years studying martial arts. No one over the age of about 12 hits me without getting hit back. Much harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying they would hit their child back really helps me understand why this country is in the state it’s in.

Let me tell you something, crazy lady. If your teenage son hits me, I’m going to knock him into next week. It’s self-defense. It’s why I spent 20 years studying martial arts. No one over the age of about 12 hits me without getting hit back. Much harder.

I think you're proving PP's point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying they would hit their child back really helps me understand why this country is in the state it’s in.

Let me tell you something, crazy lady. If your teenage son hits me, I’m going to knock him into next week. It’s self-defense. It’s why I spent 20 years studying martial arts. No one over the age of about 12 hits me without getting hit back. Much harder.

I think you're proving PP's point.

You think people should just allow teens to hit them? I would say you are what’s wrong with this country. My kids are adults. None of them ever raised a hand to me. We don’t tolerate that shi7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the people saying they would hit their child back really helps me understand why this country is in the state it’s in.

Not one of those PPs, but if my teenage son hits me in the face, I’m not going to be a doormat about it.

+1 I’ve never raised a hand to anyone but I would have shoved him away from me immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, this woman was just hit by her son. And she clearly has a difficult situation at home.

Can you all please be careful and kind with your tone?

I hear what you're saying but it really seems like the OP needs a wake up call. She isn't protecting the older brother from the violence perpetuated by the younger brother. It doesn't excuse the older child's violence but it sure does explain it. She needs to take immediate action because her kids are out of control. I agree with the poster who says she needs to call the younger son's therapist and get a consult immediately. She may need to even separate the kids or have the younger son placed into a residential facility for a bit.

[Anonymous]

Nothing makes a child angrier at their parent than consistently unequal treatment. Older son needs to see parents, mother especially, discipline sibling when possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing makes a child angrier at their parent than consistently unequal treatment. Older son needs to see parents, mother especially, discipline sibling when possible.

+1