Teen son slapped my face, what should I do

[Anonymous]

Omg not sure but I would have spontaneously combusted

[Anonymous]

Don't slap the oldest child back, slap the youngest instead! That's who the original slap was truly meant for after all.

Jokes aside, I can tell most of these posters only read the title of the thread before commenting. Slapping your son back or turning his life into a living hell is not the answer. This is obviously a bigger issue, and you need to consider family counseling. As an older sibling I can tell you that growing up, I was more often than not the one who wrongly took the blame or watched my younger siblings get away with pretty much anything. It's very much a real issue and I think that's what you, as the parent, are doing to your older son even if you don't realize. Yes the slapping was uncalled for but I bet this was something that' had been building up. Everyone in the household needs to sit down and explain their feelings about the incident. No interrupting, just listening to each other. And once again, please consider family counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes, younger son has mental health challenge, he is on medicine and has one to
one therapy weekly. Older son has never been violent to me before, he only got violent to
his brother when being provoked, he is much stronger, they are 2 years apart.
I didn’t want to take his phone and activities away. He has some social challenges, recently
has been trying to reaching out to find a friend circle, but is having a hard time. He already
feel socially isolated, I don’t want to make it worse. I feel the phone and outings(including
sports) is good for his metal health.

He went out for a sport activity the whole morning. He came back, apologized to me again,
I asked what for, he said he was angry, now he is not angry anymore. I didn’t say anything,
then he walked away.
I’m not ready to have a talk with him, because I don’t know what to do.

Has he apologized for hitting his mother in the face yet? Or just for being angry?

Why do you keep asking him what he's apologizing for? Is it some kind of mental mind-F? Isn't it frickin' obvious what he's apologizing for? It's like you're playing games with him, and it's horrible to even read. I can't imagine how you f#$@ with his head and how he experiences that. You need some serious help, OP, and I'm not saying that to be mean. You are the one who needs help.

No. It’s uncomfortable for him to name what he did wrong. Too damn bad. He should be uncomfortable. He’s lucky his parents didn’t call the police and start a paper trail. Yes, legally this is assault.

She’s allowing him to be assaulted constantly.

Yes, and if he wanted to, he could call the police for that just as much as she can for this. Both are wrong. No excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not immediately slap his face back? I'm sorry he slapped you, that would have been my reaction. Everything and I mean everything would be gone and that would just be the start.

He would no longer have a phone, Wi-Fi or computer access for anything other than supervised homework and his room would be empty with a mattress on the floor and no door.

So this would make you feel empowered but if the issue is he feels he is treated unfairly how does this solve the problem? I am sure OP has no punishment for the one who started this and continues to skate. I bet the younger kid is very happy with this out come and will rub it in the other kids faces. You have to address the issue. If not it will only worst.

It’s called parenting. Try it sometime.

And yes, obviously the once a week therapy for the younger son is not cutting it and OP and her husband need to escalate and change that. But the fact that she gives this idiotic response of “weeeelll, he’s having trouble making friends,so after he smacked his mother in the face, he still needs his phone and sports” is why she has TWO out of control teens/older children, because she doesn’t enforce boundaries or consequences and now, with a teen old enough to drive, it’s too late to start.

[Anonymous]

I might try listening to him, modeling how to get through hurt, sad, angry feelings without physical retribution. Listening to why he is upset doesn't mean you have to excuse what he did, but you find a path to why he was angry and a more meaningful apology. From there, maybe there are rules you can establish for the entire household such as no hitting, ever, or expectations for how your family can constructively handle anger (instead of this person vs. that person).

I'm so sorry, though, and I hope you find a way forward.

[Anonymous]

You people are crazy. My oldest daughter has hit me MANY times, once even pushing me to the point that I felt down and really hurt myself on a chair. Another time I felt down on the coffee table and it broke. Those times I did nothing because it was an accident as we were playing/horsing around. She doesn’t really know how strong she is so I have told her we can’t play like that anymore because I end up hurt since *I* know how strong I am and even while playing, Im careful to not hurt her.

IF she ever hit me or her father on purpose, I would beat her, take away all electronics, take down her bedroom door and cancel extracurricular activities. For at least a month. IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR OUR CHILDREN TO HIT US OR CURSE US. Im an extremely loving parent - understanding , she can come and talk to me about anything (and she does so far). I defende her, I cheer her up. She is very cherished, so there is absolutely NO reason for any of my children EVER hit me, no matter how “angry” they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are crazy. My oldest daughter has hit me MANY times, once even pushing me to the point that I felt down and really hurt myself on a chair. Another time I felt down on the coffee table and it broke. Those times I did nothing because it was an accident as we were playing/horsing around. She doesn’t really know how strong she is so I have told her we can’t play like that anymore because I end up hurt since *I* know how strong I am and even while playing, Im careful to not hurt her.

IF she ever hit me or her father on purpose, I would beat her, take away all electronics, take down her bedroom door and cancel extracurricular activities. For at least a month. IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR OUR CHILDREN TO HIT US OR CURSE US. Im an extremely loving parent - understanding , she can come and talk to me about anything (and she does so far). I defende her, I cheer her up. She is very cherished, so there is absolutely NO reason for any of my children EVER hit me, no matter how “angry” they are.

Except that we’re not talking about you. This particular mother is an abuser(indirectly, but still one).