Teen son slapped my face, what should I do

[Anonymous]

I hate that he is feeling so justified. You need to work towards getting him to consider other perspectives. Does he realize how abhorrent his actions would be considered by others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And a few posts in, we are blaming the parent of course.

OP you need to consult a professional. I would definitely remove all privileges from older child. That’s a big red line.

Sounds like the parent is to blame.

The younger son has 'uncontrollable anger' and accidentally 'elbowed the older son in the jaw'. How TF do you accidentally elbow anyone in their jaw? That's a deliberate provocation.

On top of that the elder son has so little respect for the parent who interfered on the younger son's side that they decided to retaliate against the parent to show them how it feels.

That's poor parenting for both sons.

Please clarify how a parent prevents a person from developing “uncontrollable anger,” which is often the result of a mental health challenge. Since you know it all…

[Anonymous]

Jesus, OP. If one of my teen sons had slapped me, my DH would have knocked him out. Not kidding. This isn’t a “talking to” situation. This is a the entire world as you once knew it just ended situation.

Also, therapy. There is something seriously wrong with your kid. Or your parenting.

[Anonymous]

Which adults in your home have been hitting ppl in your home?

You need to take some swift action here; a kid with this behavior is going to end up in jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, OP. If one of my teen sons had slapped me, my DH would have knocked him out. Not kidding. This isn’t a “talking to” situation. This is a the entire world as you once knew it just ended situation.

Also, therapy. There is something seriously wrong with your kid. Or your parenting.

Pretty sure no therapist would advise knocking someone out in response.

OP, professional help….not the DCUM shame brigade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And a few posts in, we are blaming the parent of course.

OP you need to consult a professional. I would definitely remove all privileges from older child. That’s a big red line.

Sounds like the parent is to blame.

The younger son has 'uncontrollable anger' and accidentally 'elbowed the older son in the jaw'. How TF do you accidentally elbow anyone in their jaw? That's a deliberate provocation.

On top of that the elder son has so little respect for the parent who interfered on the younger son's side that they decided to retaliate against the parent to show them how it feels.

That's poor parenting for both sons.

Please clarify how a parent prevents a person from developing “uncontrollable anger,” which is often the result of a mental health challenge. Since you know it all…

They don't. But they certainly don't excuse it. And OP never once mentioned any programs she's enrolled the younger son in to help with this, didn't acknowledge that the 'accident' was not an accident at all, and only deescalated the situation to prevent the older boy from physically harming the younger one who deliberately provoked him again and again.

The younger one sounds like a mass shooter in the making and the older one sounds like he's going to leave that family and never come back. Hopefully with a greater respect for women but who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, OP. If one of my teen sons had slapped me, my DH would have knocked him out. Not kidding. This isn’t a “talking to” situation. This is a the entire world as you once knew it just ended situation.

Also, therapy. There is something seriously wrong with your kid. Or your parenting.

I love that therapy is in the middle of this otherwise crazy list of possible options.

[Anonymous]

I would have slapped the shit out of his face right back and I’d probably tell him to get the eff out of my house. And if his father was present I guarantee there would be minimal talking happening in that moment.

We didn’t spank our kids, but I’m not above putting my hands on my teen in the circumstance OP described. Slapping your mother is a serious line to cross and there will e serious consequences had.

[Anonymous]

I don’t recommend this a lot - but therapy stat. For your son’a anger problems and impulse control, for you as parents to recognize how you let him spiral so out of control and where to go from here.

[Anonymous]

Also I would sent him to his room and walked in with boxes to take every source of entertainment for the foreseeable future. He can think about life while waiting for therapy to begin. You should also reflect inward.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like your older kid made a shockingly poor decision in his attempt to get you to understand the situation from his perspective.

I'm not trying to excuse this but rather just understand it. That action comes from a different place than a purely violent impulse towards a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And a few posts in, we are blaming the parent of course.

OP you need to consult a professional. I would definitely remove all privileges from older child. That’s a big red line.

Sounds like the parent is to blame.

The younger son has 'uncontrollable anger' and accidentally 'elbowed the older son in the jaw'. How TF do you accidentally elbow anyone in their jaw? That's a deliberate provocation.

On top of that the elder son has so little respect for the parent who interfered on the younger son's side that they decided to retaliate against the parent to show them how it feels.

That's poor parenting for both sons.

Please clarify how a parent prevents a person from developing “uncontrollable anger,” which is often the result of a mental health challenge. Since you know it all…

They don't. But they certainly don't excuse it. And OP never once mentioned any programs she's enrolled the younger son in to help with this, didn't acknowledge that the 'accident' was not an accident at all, and only deescalated the situation to prevent the older boy from physically harming the younger one who deliberately provoked him again and again.

The younger one sounds like a mass shooter in the making and the older one sounds like he's going to leave that family and never come back. Hopefully with a greater respect for women but who knows.

Wow, you mean she hadn’t told you her family’s entire story? But you know…..somehow

[Anonymous]

I did this to my mom as a teen (it was a reflex action during an argument) and she slapped the everloving shit out of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this to my mom as a teen (it was a reflex action during an argument) and she slapped the everloving shit out of me.

I should add my mom is my favorite person in the whole world now, but we had some rocky patches when I was a teen

[Anonymous]

I slapped my abusive mother back, once, and that was the end of her physical abuse. Alas not the psychological abuse.

There’s a lot going on in this family—injuries, anger, aggression, poor communication. Therapy sounds like a good idea to me.