A female friend wants to stay single

[Anonymous]

Are you by chance homophobic?

[Anonymous]

I love this. She sounds like a confident woman who knows what she wants out of life. Let her be happy. She has decided for herself that what makes her happy is not what makes you happy.

I do hope it becomes more socially acceptable for women to choose to center their lives around caring for themselves instead of others (spouse, kids, etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it’s her choice and she should do what she wants. However, a guy making that choice would be crushed on here for having something wrong with him, having tons of baggage, commitment phobic or whatever else. The stigma attached to guys that don’t want to be married is far different than what I hearing here.

Totally disagree. OP's friend isn't even interested in dating. Nobody anywhere ever says men must date and have romantic relationships if they don't want them. You're conflating this situation with a guy who wants to date around, or date one woman long-term but not get married, which I agree many people would have a problem with (and they shouldn't, as long as he's up front about it with partners).

[Anonymous]

So many possibilities.

She could be heartbroken over an ex. She may be seeing someone quietly. She may be someone’s affair partner. She may be gay. She may be sleeping with her boss. You just never know.

I had a family friend who was dating her boss. He was divorcing. The family friend was her family’s pride and joy. I remember her dad not coming to the wedding because he was so against the wedding. I don’t know if she caused the divorce. They have 3 kids now. I remember everyone wanted to date her. No one could figure out why she wasn’t married by 35.

[Anonymous]

MYOB times one million and don't project your "values" on her. My best friend is still single at 55 by choice and, believe me, she is fulfilled and happy.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm. It sounds like when she tells you and others she doesn’t want to date she actually means that…she doesn’t want to date.

Why does this bother you?

[Anonymous]

OMFG you sound like an obnoxious jerk. MYOB. I hope she dumps you as a so-called friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it’s her choice and she should do what she wants. However, a guy making that choice would be crushed on here for having something wrong with him, having tons of baggage, commitment phobic or whatever else. The stigma attached to guys that don’t want to be married is far different than what I hearing here.

Totally disagree. OP's friend isn't even interested in dating. Nobody anywhere ever says men must date and have romantic relationships if they don't want them. You're conflating this situation with a guy who wants to date around, or date one woman long-term but not get married, which I agree many people would have a problem with (and they shouldn't, as long as he's up front about it with partners).

Are you new to this forum? I’ve seen countless times on here that if a guy in his 40s hasn’t been married, it’s a huge red flag. Countless times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMFG you sound like an obnoxious jerk. MYOB. I hope she dumps you as a so-called friend

Hey Karen, chill with MYOB. We know you’re the same person posting over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it’s her choice and she should do what she wants. However, a guy making that choice would be crushed on here for having something wrong with him, having tons of baggage, commitment phobic or whatever else. The stigma attached to guys that don’t want to be married is far different than what I hearing here.

Totally disagree. OP's friend isn't even interested in dating. Nobody anywhere ever says men must date and have romantic relationships if they don't want them. You're conflating this situation with a guy who wants to date around, or date one woman long-term but not get married, which I agree many people would have a problem with (and they shouldn't, as long as he's up front about it with partners).

Are you new to this forum? I’ve seen countless times on here that if a guy in his 40s hasn’t been married, it’s a huge red flag. Countless times.

It's a red flag *to a woman he's dating*. Not to the general public. Not to friends.

This woman isn't dating anyone. She doesn't want to. She avoids events if men she knows are interested in her will be there. Completely different scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMFG you sound like an obnoxious jerk. MYOB. I hope she dumps you as a so-called friend

Hey Karen, chill with MYOB. We know you’re the same person posting over and over.

Um, I didn’t post this, but I did make another post agreeing with it and I’m not the same person.

News flash: people disagree with you and it doesn’t make them puppets or trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these posts seem to be from the same angry female who thinks it’s not your business to show concern for a good friend. Typical DCUM.

She's not showing concern. She's judging. Friend isn't complaining she isn't attracting men and then not picking up when men are hitting on her, she's clearly expressing she's not interested. How is it "concern" to think friend is "wasting" herself when she's expressing a clear preference.

If friend seemed unhappy or wanted something different, that'd be a concern. But she hasn't expressed she wants anything different and OP speaking up is likely to result in the friend distancing herself from OP.

Because it is out of the ordinary for a young man or woman not to have any desire to date. It’s not normal behavior for most people. OP is expressing concern. That’s what friends do. And if she is judging, still doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see her friend happy.

The OP is judging, and so are you.

Plenty of people are asexual. While they may be the minority, they are still normal/ordinary.

The friend has never expressed being unhappy, so the OP should be thrilled that the friend is happy.

There is no reason for concern. Just because the friend has chosen a different path than the OP doesn't mean there is reason for concern. This is like showing concern that a friend has chosen a different career; just because it is different doesn't mean it is wrong or cause for concern.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

let her waste her PRIME years on being single by choice. It’s her choice not yours. If she wants to die alone let her.

Maybe she is a lesbian, who knows

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it’s her choice and she should do what she wants. However, a guy making that choice would be crushed on here for having something wrong with him, having tons of baggage, commitment phobic or whatever else. The stigma attached to guys that don’t want to be married is far different than what I hearing here.

Totally disagree. OP's friend isn't even interested in dating. Nobody anywhere ever says men must date and have romantic relationships if they don't want them. You're conflating this situation with a guy who wants to date around, or date one woman long-term but not get married, which I agree many people would have a problem with (and they shouldn't, as long as he's up front about it with partners).

Are you new to this forum? I’ve seen countless times on here that if a guy in his 40s hasn’t been married, it’s a huge red flag. Countless times.

It's a red flag *to a woman he's dating*. Not to the general public. Not to friends.

This woman isn't dating anyone. She doesn't want to. She avoids events if men she knows are interested in her will be there. Completely different scenario.

Not true. The general public has mentioned here many times that it’s a red flag if a guy in his 40s hasn’t been married and have warned people that he must have something wrong with him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has assessed (gestures broadly) the general state of things and realized that since the country and the planet is doomed, she might as well ride it out with more money, more freedom, and more self-enjoyment rather than subject offspring to climate change, disease, and economic chaos?