A female friend wants to stay single

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pray for the day when women are each other’s worst enemy.

*aren’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants no drama of sitting with and catering to some asshole that gives her a very hard time. Leave her alone.

Lots of people are happy alone.

Come at me.

You sound like someone that throws their french fries back at the McDonalds cashier and demands they make them over.

Nah, she doesn’t sound like that. Try again.

[Anonymous]

If she’s really your friend, can’t you just ask her what she sees in her future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a female friend, early 30s, attractive and beautiful, great career, great personalities, great education & lovely family background, and she is fun, lovely, social and have a big friend social. However, she turns down all guys upfront that want to hit on her in any occasion. She just turns down them upfront bluntly and tell them that she is not into dating or looking into any relationship. Some of our common guy friends have feelings for her, she feels it and she is avoiding them as best as she could, like avoid some events when they would be there or so, and only go out in a party of people. From what I hear, she has never dated or having any boyfriend, and she seems wanting to be single forever. I have asked her once if she ever feels lonely, she says no, and she comments that relationship is too complicated for her to handle and she would rather have a bunch of great friendship with girls or guys.

I have my own family with kids, and she is good with kids. I feel it is quite wasteful that she does not give it a try for anything because there are quite many decent and good looking guys with great package among those hits. She does not even try to flirt or give mixed signals to any guys, but she is just like a honey attracting many guys but she rejects them all upfront. She tells them that they could be friends, but no any further. I think she just wants to stay single. Do you have any friend like that?

I know people who probably should have been like your friend with many friendships and being good with friends' children instead of becoming parents and wives, instead they gave in to pressure from family and friends and are extremely unhappy and it shows. It seems as though your friend is doing what she wants with her life. accept it and be happy for her.

[Anonymous]

Definitely unusual that this friend never dated or had a boyfriend. Maybe she's gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these posts seem to be from the same angry female who thinks it’s not your business to show concern for a good friend. Typical DCUM.

She's not showing concern. She's judging. Friend isn't complaining she isn't attracting men and then not picking up when men are hitting on her, she's clearly expressing she's not interested. How is it "concern" to think friend is "wasting" herself when she's expressing a clear preference.

If friend seemed unhappy or wanted something different, that'd be a concern. But she hasn't expressed she wants anything different and OP speaking up is likely to result in the friend distancing herself from OP.

Because it is out of the ordinary for a young man or woman not to have any desire to date. It’s not normal behavior for most people. OP is expressing concern. That’s what friends do. And if she is judging, still doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see her friend happy.

I mean, I have an aunt who's a nun, which was a pretty normal thing to be for most of the last 1,000 years. I'm not sure why we're pretending it's anything new to eschew marriage and kids.

[Anonymous]

Good for her. She’s way ahead of every stuck in terrible marriages or divorced & coparenting with a narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Are we just going to leave unacknowledged the "she's like honey" line I'm the original post? Because, ugh, yikes, no.

[Anonymous]

This is op. Wow, with many hate comments coming at me. I know I should mind my own business but she

[Anonymous]

A have a couple. One was once in missed connections that’s how cute she is. She ignored it. But she’s just not into relationships. I don’t really like the term asexual because they like and appreciates romantic movies and friends’ weddings, but they are happy alone, fully aware of the downsides of relationships, and are self aware enough to know it’s just not for them. I think a lot of guys are like this and we don’t really think twice about it.

In op’s defense, it sounds like she said the great guys throwing themselves at her friend are wasted opportunities, not that the friend was wasting away herself somehow by staying single (by op’s own account, she is thriving.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is op. Wow, with many hate comments coming at me. I know I should mind my own business but she

but she is not interested in any dating at all which seems to be a bit abnormal. She is not gay, and I am 100% sure. But i know that she was seen as a third wheel or a threat by some females because their significant others (boyfriend, husband, guy they like) hitting on her or commenting nice about her, and she hates all such women drama because she has done nothing. She tells me relationship is a bit too complicated for her to handle because she has seen woman lost themselves, crying over, going through arguments , feeling up and down like roller roaster once they are in a relationship. She wants to be her true self, and I am suspicious that she may have a phobia to go into any dating or relationship because of all these.

I am not judgemental, and I love her so much with her company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op. Wow, with many hate comments coming at me. I know I should mind my own business but she

but she is not interested in any dating at all which seems to be a bit abnormal. She is not gay, and I am 100% sure. But i know that she was seen as a third wheel or a threat by some females because their significant others (boyfriend, husband, guy they like) hitting on her or commenting nice about her, and she hates all such women drama because she has done nothing. She tells me relationship is a bit too complicated for her to handle because she has seen woman lost themselves, crying over, going through arguments , feeling up and down like roller roaster once they are in a relationship. She wants to be her true self, and I am suspicious that she may have a phobia to go into any dating or relationship because of all these.

I am not judgemental, and I love her so much with her company.

Though uncommon, it is not "abnormal," and since you "know I should mind my own business," you already have your answer.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like that. Pretty sure she’s asexual. I’ve never asked because it’s none of my damn business. She’s happy, her life is full, I’m not sure why I would wish anything different for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A have a couple. One was once in missed connections that’s how cute she is. She ignored it. But she’s just not into relationships. I don’t really like the term asexual because they like and appreciates romantic movies and friends’ weddings, but they are happy alone, fully aware of the downsides of relationships, and are self aware enough to know it’s just not for them. I think a lot of guys are like this and we don’t really think twice about it.

In op’s defense, it sounds like she said the great guys throwing themselves at her friend are wasted opportunities, not that the friend was wasting away herself somehow by staying single (by op’s own account, she is thriving.)

You don't get the difference between being happy for your friend at a wedding and not wanting to have sex??? I'm not asexual but I get it. I could watch a friend go sky diving and be happy for them but no flipping way would I do it!

Does your friend use the term?
I'm glad you are supportive of her but she might not apply that term to herself anyway. Maybe she is "consciously uncoupled" or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is op. Wow, with many hate comments coming at me. I know I should mind my own business but she

Just end right before the "but" there.

Let's lay out this scenario. How do you think this would go?

OP: you know a lot of guys really like you.
Friend: I've told you before I'm just not interested in that.

Okay, what next? What do you think will convince friend? Because I've gotta tell you, there's little you can say here that's not insulting.

Just, don't.