I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP. I’m laughing so hard as I forward this friend to my cousin. She’s a mom of four who was on “The Voice” a few seasons ago. We’ve got a girls’ trip to Nashville coming up.

Did you cousin sing or something? Is that an accomplishment to audition for a reality show? Well, I have to give her credit. At least she did something fun.

Um, yes my cousin sings. She didn’t just audition for “The Voice,” she made it through numerous rounds. She was on Team Kelly. She did really well and has tens of thousands of followers on Instagram and her YouTube channel. She also has performed onstage in the DC area numerous times, and has recorded with Alison Kraus and jazz singer Tierney Sutton.

Yeah, I guess you can say she “did something fun.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sweeping generalizations much? I have six kids (2 step kids are included) and have never paid $60 an hour for a babysitter. Hell, because of their age differences, I don't think we've ever had anyone outside the family babysit all the kids at once - it's just never been needed. My kids are very well behaved, and yes, I got easy kids but still, we are strict on behavior and manners and they rise to the occasion.

Maybe try taking each person individually instead of categorizing people.

So you never do anything without your kids? Like you and your DH?

Where did you read that?
I’m a dp but also have six kids. We actually got to go out alone a little more once our older kids could babysit. Yes, we paid them but it was easy to arrange on short notice.

I saw a TikTok a few days ago about how they did some survey and most people said the most difficult was having 3 kids, that after 4 it got easier, so 4, 5, 6 was easy.

Half of the comments on that TikTok were people saying it got easy, because the older kids got old enough to parent younger kids. Most comments had something to say about those poor older kids who were forced to raise their siblings. Six kids a a lunacy in my world.

I'm the one whose six include two step kids, and we've always paid our older kids to babysit, and they've always been able to say no when we ask if they want to. It's a "rights of first refusal" situation with asking them, not a "we're just ASKING to be polite but your only option is to say yes" sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

I have quite a few friends who have admitted they had more than 2 kids because they didn't want to go back to work.

[Anonymous]

Huh. I have three kids, work part time, have a nanny, and my house is cleaned by someone else lol. I spend a lot of time with my friends but I'd never want to spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids and have never paid more than 25 an hour for a babysitter. You have to try a lot of people and cast a wide net but eventually you get enough regulars to manage.

Let me guess - you live in panhandle Florida or Missouri or Ohio?

Are you insane?

I live in Bethesda. I’m not the previous poster but I’ve never met anyone who paid 60/hour for babysitting. I have 3 kids and $20 is considered generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. I have three kids, work part time, have a nanny, and my house is cleaned by someone else lol. I spend a lot of time with my friends but I'd never want to spend time with you.

Same. I guess if I was old and couldn’t handle my one kid AND had to clean my own house like OP, I’d be bitter and friendless, too.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read most of the responses but this is just so opposite of my experience. I have 2 kids but all of my closest friends have 3 or 4. They all work full time in interesting (to me) jobs across various sectors. Their kids are not crazy - when we get together with the kid’s they generally entertain themselves playing soccer or whatever while we chat. Babies hang out on laps. We try to stay outdoors to avoid an indoor mess. If we want a catch up brunch the husbands chill with their kids at home so no babysitting needed.

Maybe wait for kids to get a little older?

[Anonymous]

Well thank goodness not one parent of singletons in my circle feels like you!!! And thank goodness my parents didn't feel like this, otherwise I, as an only child in a world full of siblings, would have had no friends!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids and have never paid more than 25 an hour for a babysitter. You have to try a lot of people and cast a wide net but eventually you get enough regulars to manage.

Let me guess - you live in panhandle Florida or Missouri or Ohio?

Are you insane?

I live in Bethesda. I’m not the previous poster but I’ve never met anyone who paid 60/hour for babysitting. I have 3 kids and $20 is considered generous.

For 2-3 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read most of the responses but this is just so opposite of my experience. I have 2 kids but all of my closest friends have 3 or 4. They all work full time in interesting (to me) jobs across various sectors. Their kids are not crazy - when we get together with the kid’s they generally entertain themselves playing soccer or whatever while we chat. Babies hang out on laps. We try to stay outdoors to avoid an indoor mess. If we want a catch up brunch the husbands chill with their kids at home so no babysitting needed.

Maybe wait for kids to get a little older?

I just met a friend outdoors for lunch. She has 4 kids. She came with 3 kids because couldn’t leave them at home. The whole two hours she kept checking on her two year old who kept walking off and bringing him back, she kept consoling her baby who kept fussing. Our conversation was constantly interrupted “Where is Larlo? I just saw him near the trash can. Larlo, can you spit it out of your mouth? Lrla is crying. Larla is hungry. Larlo, don’t drink it like this you’re spilling it on yourself.” And so on.

We couldn’t really hold a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have different friends with different age children. I have one twelve year old.

I find it impossible to maintain a friendship once they hit child #3.

It's impossible to have adult only time doing something fun because spending $60 an hour for a sitter is too expensive for them. They usually don't have any other support as no one wants to watch their kids for free.

If we get together with kids it's exhausting just to watch - both dad and mom are constantly chasing their 2 year old and 4 year old and making sure they don't kill themselves. You can't have a conversation with them because they're constantly running around after the kids. Also, if you have a nice, clean house with expensive furniture their kids will jump on your nice couch with their shoes on, spill juice on your carpet, leave hand prints on walls, etc. You'll need to do a deep cleaning afterwards.

Finally, they don't have any interests. These women usually don't work. Their life revolves around changing diapers and feedings and there is nothing to talk about other than which gymnastics class to take. It's utterly boring.

This is not a year or two. This lasts years.

All this makes me wonder why women sabotage themselves having 3-4 kids? Why do you do this to yourselves?

You can meet them at a park or something so you don’t mess up your pristine house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

I’m an AVP at a Big Ten. I travel and am a Master’s swimmer. Bye! Sorry you can’t handle more than one lonely child.

This is horrible mean. It was kind of rude of OP to make judgements in her original post, but this is beyond the pale and really reflects poorly on you. Shame on you. So mean.

DP and I agree. OP is making unfair and nasty judgements about moms of 3+ kids, but so are the responders who are making fun of older moms or moms of only children.

WTF? All of you need to sit down and shut up. Bunch of nasty harpies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

All this makes me wonder why women sabotage themselves having 3-4 kids? Why do you do this to yourselves?

My second pregnancy resulted in twins. I had a hard time picking one to take home so ended up with both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP. I’m laughing so hard as I forward this friend to my cousin. She’s a mom of four who was on “The Voice” a few seasons ago. We’ve got a girls’ trip to Nashville coming up.

Did you cousin sing or something? Is that an accomplishment to audition for a reality show? Well, I have to give her credit. At least she did something fun.

Um, yes my cousin sings. She didn’t just audition for “The Voice,” she made it through numerous rounds. She was on Team Kelly. She did really well and has tens of thousands of followers on Instagram and her YouTube channel. She also has performed onstage in the DC area numerous times, and has recorded with Alison Kraus and jazz singer Tierney Sutton.

Yeah, I guess you can say she “did something fun.”

living vicariously through your cousin much?

[Anonymous]

I have 5 kids and a full time nanny and housekeeper. I feel great about it!!