I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

I have different friends with different age children. I have one twelve year old.

I find it impossible to maintain a friendship once they hit child #3.

It's impossible to have adult only time doing something fun because spending $60 an hour for a sitter is too expensive for them. They usually don't have any other support as no one wants to watch their kids for free.

If we get together with kids it's exhausting just to watch - both dad and mom are constantly chasing their 2 year old and 4 year old and making sure they don't kill themselves. You can't have a conversation with them because they're constantly running around after the kids. Also, if you have a nice, clean house with expensive furniture their kids will jump on your nice couch with their shoes on, spill juice on your carpet, leave hand prints on walls, etc. You'll need to do a deep cleaning afterwards.

Finally, they don't have any interests. These women usually don't work. Their life revolves around changing diapers and feedings and there is nothing to talk about other than which gymnastics class to take. It's utterly boring.

This is not a year or two. This lasts years.

All this makes me wonder why women sabotage themselves having 3-4 kids? Why do you do this to yourselves?

[Anonymous]

I have 5 kids and have never paid more than 25 an hour for a babysitter. You have to try a lot of people and cast a wide net but eventually you get enough regulars to manage.

[Anonymous]

Pp w 5 kids. I socialize w childless people. I have a spouse who can babysit. I really don't see how its any harder than 2 in terms of my social life. Once you need babysitting you need babysitting

[Anonymous]

Honestly it sounds like they're lucky to be shut out of your orbit.

- Mom of one kid

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids, but have friends with 0-3 kids. Don’t seem to know anyone who has gone for #4. Some work full time, part time, not at all. Different interests. I dunno. This hasn’t been an issue to me.

Also, my house is pretty kid friendly. Cool basement hang out space with lots of toys. Nice backyard with a play set, trampoline, etc. We don’t invite the kids to hang out in the nicer areas of the house.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re trolling if you think parents with three kids pay $60/hour for babysitting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it sounds like they're lucky to be shut out of your orbit.

- Mom of one kid

+1

Troll level 2/10

[Anonymous]

All this makes me wonder why women sabotage themselves having 3-4 kids? Why do you do this to yourselves?

Most of us don't have you for a friend - or anyone like you.

[Anonymous]

If your youngest child is 12, then it makes sense that you wouldn't want to do whole-family hangouts with much younger children (4, 2, and baby). I don't see what the quantity has to do with it.

[Anonymous]

I have one kid now 9 and one of my good friends has 4 kids age 3-9. We manage to see each other just fine. Sometimes we do stuff with the kids and sometimes we meet without our kids. With kids is usually pool or playground, or other activity. By ourselves is usually a walk or sometimes a drink on my deck on the evening because my spouse works at night so she comes over because her spouse is home. You are nuts. If your friends liked you they would make it work.

[Anonymous]

My sister has 3, works part-time, does several girls trips a year, and volunteers. She’s so funny by that she was published in McSweeny’s. You sound boring and judgy. No wonder you don’t attract fun people.

[Anonymous]

You’re old if you have a 12yo. No wonder you don’t have much in common with non-perimenopausal moms.

[Anonymous]

Wow, no wonder you don’t have any friends, OP. I think it’s you, not them. I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids and have never paid more than 25 an hour for a babysitter. You have to try a lot of people and cast a wide net but eventually you get enough regulars to manage.

Let me guess - you live in panhandle Florida or Missouri or Ohio?

[Anonymous]

You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!