The mysterious marriage and dating market

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP your problem is a vanishingly small percentage of men make over $150k, and they can date women younger and prettier than you. Unless you are in the right circles at the right age, you have to settle for some dork Fed or something.

??? I’m in my 30s and live in the DC metro area and I doubt I know a man here who makes less than $150k.

Then your circle is super small. Most men do not make 150k+

PLENTY do.

Most men in DC do. Most men nationally don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP your problem is a vanishingly small percentage of men make over $150k, and they can date women younger and prettier than you. Unless you are in the right circles at the right age, you have to settle for some dork Fed or something.

??? I’m in my 30s and live in the DC metro area and I doubt I know a man here who makes less than $150k.

1) you don’t know any teachers, NGO workers, GS14 Feds? Only lawyers and lobbyists?

2) all those 30s men are looking at 20s women

DP. I know very few men married to younger women (I'm 38 and most of our friends are married). I don't think this is the norm in professional circles. The couples I know are virtually all within four years of each other, and among my college friends the woman is just as likely to be slightly older. I know zero couples with a 10-year age gap.

You must not be around lesbian couples lololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we also add that there aren't a lot of great men out there to begin with? Sure they exist....

I remember dating in my 20s and I met a lot of guys. Honestly at least a 3rd of them were abusive in some way. I had to break up with the pathological liar, the guy who suddenly got into drugs and changed into another person, the guy who thought too highly of his own stuff and consistently tried to "gently" take me down a peg, the guy who had another gf which he lied about and they were very serious, another one who started getting controlling a few weeks in and tried to tell me I couldn't be friends with someone anymore...

Then there was the guy who seemed perfectly nice, but I was getting serious with someone else so I broke things off...and THEN he started sending me hate mail. Totally psychotic.

So, I think you need high standards and a lot of luck. People settle for these men. They all got married (not to me).

This is the best comment in this entire thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok- I’m middle aged and married so I’m a bit out of it. Can someone explain this high-quality, low-quality thing. It sounds so judgmental… like everyone should agree that _____ is a “high-quality” trait and ____ is “low quality.” Is that where it is coming from?

Check out female dating strategy on Reddit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP your problem is a vanishingly small percentage of men make over $150k, and they can date women younger and prettier than you. Unless you are in the right circles at the right age, you have to settle for some dork Fed or something.

??? I’m in my 30s and live in the DC metro area and I doubt I know a man here who makes less than $150k.

Then your circle is super small. Most men do not make 150k+

PLENTY do.

Most men in DC do. Most men nationally don’t.

Most men in DC don't, median per capita income is 56k

https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/DC,US/PST045219

[Anonymous]

Looking back on my single days, I made a significant mistake. I had plenty of guys chasing me. The vast majority were good, solid, stable, kind individuals. The kind of guys you could bring home to mama and she would be very pleased. But I wasted too many years chasing after a unicorn. Don't chase unicorns. Unicorns aren't real. If you find yourself repeatedly turning up your nose at fantastic guys, maybe you should get therapy to find out why.

[Anonymous]

Finding a good match depends largely on luck.

[Anonymous]

I feel like some of it was about self worth. I had high standards. I am amazed at some of the posts of DCUM that women post complaining about their husbands. I would never tolerate most of the behavior.

[Anonymous]

You attract who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we also add that there aren't a lot of great men out there to begin with? Sure they exist....

I remember dating in my 20s and I met a lot of guys. Honestly at least a 3rd of them were abusive in some way. I had to break up with the pathological liar, the guy who suddenly got into drugs and changed into another person, the guy who thought too highly of his own stuff and consistently tried to "gently" take me down a peg, the guy who had another gf which he lied about and they were very serious, another one who started getting controlling a few weeks in and tried to tell me I couldn't be friends with someone anymore...

Then there was the guy who seemed perfectly nice, but I was getting serious with someone else so I broke things off...and THEN he started sending me hate mail. Totally psychotic.

So, I think you need high standards and a lot of luck. People settle for these men. They all got married (not to me).

This is the best comment in this entire thread.

+1. They don’t change much as they get older either. Mostly it is more of the same. I would argue the same for women who don’t do any self-work over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You attract who you are.

You attract what you are. There is only one you. The characteristics you have are what draw complimentary souls into your realm.


When I was weak - I attracted weak vultures. When I was strong, I attracted beautiful compliments to my soul and still have good experiences from those people. I’ve learned not to trust those I attract when I’m in a healing phase. Something is usually off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we also add that there aren't a lot of great men out there to begin with? Sure they exist....

I remember dating in my 20s and I met a lot of guys. Honestly at least a 3rd of them were abusive in some way. I had to break up with the pathological liar, the guy who suddenly got into drugs and changed into another person, the guy who thought too highly of his own stuff and consistently tried to "gently" take me down a peg, the guy who had another gf which he lied about and they were very serious, another one who started getting controlling a few weeks in and tried to tell me I couldn't be friends with someone anymore...

Then there was the guy who seemed perfectly nice, but I was getting serious with someone else so I broke things off...and THEN he started sending me hate mail. Totally psychotic.

So, I think you need high standards and a lot of luck. People settle for these men. They all got married (not to me).

This is the best comment in this entire thread.

-1

Your picker is off. Many of us have never dated an abusive man, so please don’t normalize this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we also add that there aren't a lot of great men out there to begin with? Sure they exist....

I remember dating in my 20s and I met a lot of guys. Honestly at least a 3rd of them were abusive in some way. I had to break up with the pathological liar, the guy who suddenly got into drugs and changed into another person, the guy who thought too highly of his own stuff and consistently tried to "gently" take me down a peg, the guy who had another gf which he lied about and they were very serious, another one who started getting controlling a few weeks in and tried to tell me I couldn't be friends with someone anymore...

Then there was the guy who seemed perfectly nice, but I was getting serious with someone else so I broke things off...and THEN he started sending me hate mail. Totally psychotic.

So, I think you need high standards and a lot of luck. People settle for these men. They all got married (not to me).

This is the best comment in this entire thread.

-1

Your picker is off. Many of us have never dated an abusive man, so please don’t normalize this.

Her picker isn’t off. She crossed paths with an asshole that his his spots. She saw the spots she left. Many never see the spots and cry about it 20 years and 3 kids later. Her picker told her to drop him abusive ass. He went on to marry someone else whose picker WAS off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we also add that there aren't a lot of great men out there to begin with? Sure they exist....

I remember dating in my 20s and I met a lot of guys. Honestly at least a 3rd of them were abusive in some way. I had to break up with the pathological liar, the guy who suddenly got into drugs and changed into another person, the guy who thought too highly of his own stuff and consistently tried to "gently" take me down a peg, the guy who had another gf which he lied about and they were very serious, another one who started getting controlling a few weeks in and tried to tell me I couldn't be friends with someone anymore...

Then there was the guy who seemed perfectly nice, but I was getting serious with someone else so I broke things off...and THEN he started sending me hate mail. Totally psychotic.

So, I think you need high standards and a lot of luck. People settle for these men. They all got married (not to me).

This is the best comment in this entire thread.

-1

Your picker is off. Many of us have never dated an abusive man, so please don’t normalize this.

Also, many HAVE been abused, so don’t try to make it some abnormal abs unusual thing. She can share her story as much as you can. Yours isn’t any more normal than hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP your problem is a vanishingly small percentage of men make over $150k, and they can date women younger and prettier than you. Unless you are in the right circles at the right age, you have to settle for some dork Fed or something.

??? I’m in my 30s and live in the DC metro area and I doubt I know a man here who makes less than $150k.

Then your circle is super small. Most men do not make 150k+

PLENTY do.

So most men of marrying age (30-35) are making $150?

Above that age you get divorcée or odd duck bachelors.