Family wedding - no kids allowed

[Anonymous]

I enjoy family weddings and never make family events child free. My wedding was child free not on purpose though. In the end this isn't your wedding, either you go or you don't go. Don't give your opinion, it's not helpful and likely not wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think child free weddings are very common. I vaguely remember weddings when I was a kid where punch and cake were served at the reception and everyone, including the entire church congregation was invited. That was a long time ago. Weddings have become more formal and receptions have become more expensive. Many people have limited budgets and allowing everyone who wanted to to bring their kids could easily mean cutting their guest list significantly. If you invite one cousin and their kids, you pretty much have to invite all of your cousins and their kids. So cousins and kids could easily mean very few friends and crazy catering charges per head for food that many kids might not even eat.

So: Two questions: Would you be fine with traveling and getting a hotel and bringing your kid — if the reception was cake, punch, and butter mints?
Is the other event actually part of the wedding celebrations? Or does it just happen to be the weekend before?

Clearly you are not Catholic. Cheap doesn’t mean dry .
I have flown to many weddings held in the school gym with buffet style food cooked by the MOB and the Ladies Guild and a makeshift bar set up on a card table with cousin Jimmy pouring out shots of whiskey. And they were all completely worth it.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t invite children to weddings or other family events, then where are teenagers supposed to learn to drink? From other teenagers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer kid free weddings. I just went to a kid wedding over the weekend and the bride really tried to cater to kids (there were 30 or so). It was lovely but too many kids! They were rolling on the dance floor, running around and people had to leave early to get kids to bed.

I love a good adult wedding with adult cocktails, no kids on the dance floor, and a packed adult dance floor. I have two toddlers. When invited to an out of town wedding, we get a hotel babysitter during the wedding. It’s not a big deal

30 kids at 1 wedding? What sort of venue? Virginia is at 50 inside and 100 outside capacity. DC is going to 25% in May so to get 200 inside you need an 800 capacity ballroom. The OP is unrealistic on kids and venues now because there are capacity limits.

FYI some of the biggest I have to bring my kids had no kids weddings.

[Anonymous]

We had to stipulate no children due to space reservations.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. In my cultural community, kids are always invited and I only got kid-free wedding invites from Americans. As I’m older now and have been here for 15+ years, I do understand that costs, venue and other factors do play a role in the number of people invited and respect that. Personally, unless my kids were invited or it was a sibling’s wedding, I’d skip during this Pandemic time if the wedding is out of the area where I’d need to book a hotel and such.

[Anonymous]

Since you are going for 1.5 weeks couldn't you take your daughter but just get a sitter for that night. Do other family with kids have plans you could join in on for a sitter.

[Anonymous]

I come from a culture where weddings ALWAYS include children, so for me it's ridiculous that Americans think getting married should not involve kids.

I wouldn't go to a wedding that forbade children out of principle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a culture where weddings ALWAYS include children, so for me it's ridiculous that Americans think getting married should not involve kids.

I wouldn't go to a wedding that forbade children out of principle.

PP again. I understand cost considerations - we just invited fewer families.

[Anonymous]

We just came came back from a family wedding on the west coast that stated "Adult Reception Only". We stayed at the wedding hotel venue, brought the kids and then through the kids in the hotel room while we danced the night away. Best decision ever to have a kid free reception. The kids had a phone in the room and we even let them sneak down to the reception and take a quick photo booth pic. Besides that I was glad they were gone so we could have a fun loose night!

[Anonymous]

should say brought kids to ceremony and then threw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a culture where weddings ALWAYS include children, so for me it's ridiculous that Americans think getting married should not involve kids.

I wouldn't go to a wedding that forbade children out of principle.

So decline. With your superior attitude, you will not be missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think child free weddings are very common. I vaguely remember weddings when I was a kid where punch and cake were served at the reception and everyone, including the entire church congregation was invited. That was a long time ago. Weddings have become more formal and receptions have become more expensive. Many people have limited budgets and allowing everyone who wanted to to bring their kids could easily mean cutting their guest list significantly. If you invite one cousin and their kids, you pretty much have to invite all of your cousins and their kids. So cousins and kids could easily mean very few friends and crazy catering charges per head for food that many kids might not even eat.

So: Two questions: Would you be fine with traveling and getting a hotel and bringing your kid — if the reception was cake, punch, and butter mints?
Is the other event actually part of the wedding celebrations? Or does it just happen to be the weekend before?

Clearly you are not Catholic. Cheap doesn’t mean dry .
I have flown to many weddings held in the school gym with buffet style food cooked by the MOB and the Ladies Guild and a makeshift bar set up on a card table with cousin Jimmy pouring out shots of whiskey. And they were all completely worth it.

You’re right, I’m not Catholic. Most of the celebrations like weddings and such that I’ve attended haven’t been big on alcohol, beyond champagne for the toasts. While I don’t remember anything resembling an actual bar, I do sort of remember some of the men going to “help out” in the kitchen — where they probably had their own special punch bowl. Your description is great! I would really enjoy that kind of party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just curious how others feel and would handle out of state, family weddings where your child isn’t invited. I would like to go, we have a small family and it’s my only cousin but I think it’s rude to not invite our daughter since, in my opinion, weddings are about celebrating with family and friends (including kids!). My parents will be at the wedding and my husbands family lives abroad so they are unable to help.... most likely my husband will be skipping the festivities, which makes me sad. Again, just curious how people would react - it’s making me feel sad but I don’t want to cause hurt feelings by not attending.

It’s not “rude” at all. Demanding they do what you think they should do on their own wedding day is rude.

[Anonymous]

Just RSVP NO.