Family wedding - no kids allowed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just curious how others feel and would handle out of state, family weddings where your child isn’t invited. I would like to go, we have a small family and it’s my only cousin but I think it’s rude to not invite our daughter since, in my opinion, weddings are about celebrating with family and friends (including kids!). My parents will be at the wedding and my husbands family lives abroad so they are unable to help.... most likely my husband will be skipping the festivities, which makes me sad. Again, just curious how people would react - it’s making me feel sad but I don’t want to cause hurt feelings by not attending.

It's not rude. You just don't agree with it, and you don't have to.

[Anonymous]

This is not about you or your child. Sorry. The wedding is about the bride and groom. Everyone else is a guest. Children are not always an appropriate addition to adult weddings no matter how precious you think yours is.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go. The out-of-state last "kid free" wedding we were invited to cost us several thousands between the week-end away with the groom's men (husband was in the wedding), the money they spent getting drunk at strip club (eyeroll), the hotel at the wedding venue, renting the outfits, gifts and whatnot. My husband attended while I stayed home with the kids. Never again. I can find a better use of my money. And if you don't care about meeting my kids then don't expect me to get all excited when it's your turn to have a family.

[Anonymous]

Our daughter is 7 - it’ll be a 10 hour drive because it is combined with another family event the weekend prior (where everyone is invited) so we will be in my hometown for 1.5 weeks. I clearly am in the minority and that’s what I was curious about. I think family events are special and a great bonding experience and wish all family was included but again, guess not everyone feels the same. I don’t know why people thinks that makes me a terrible parent and/or person - I’m just someone who values family and relationships. I should also add this isn’t even in my hometown where I could probably find a babysitter that I have some familiarity with, it’s two hours away from that city, so we have no one to watch her and when I inquired about childcare options, was not offered any suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter is 7 - it’ll be a 10 hour drive because it is combined with another family event the weekend prior (where everyone is invited) so we will be in my hometown for 1.5 weeks. I clearly am in the minority and that’s what I was curious about. I think family events are special and a great bonding experience and wish all family was included but again, guess not everyone feels the same. I don’t know why people thinks that makes me a terrible parent and/or person - I’m just someone who values family and relationships. I should also add this isn’t even in my hometown where I could probably find a babysitter that I have some familiarity with, it’s two hours away from that city, so we have no one to watch her and when I inquired about childcare options, was not offered any suggestions. [/quoteuld]

I'm like you OP....

[Anonymous]

Fine, my kid is a preteen and I've never left them with a babysitter and I fully support it. We had a baby screaming through our entire wedding and it was boring. To the party for part of the time, ok but not the ceremony. I think its rude to expect kids to be invited.

[Anonymous]

we got our first "VACCINATED ONLY" wedding invite. so we'll see if the kids can be vaccinated by wedding date or not. I'm fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just curious how others feel and would handle out of state, family weddings where your child isn’t invited. I would like to go, we have a small family and it’s my only cousin but I think it’s rude to not invite our daughter since, in my opinion, weddings are about celebrating with family and friends (including kids!). My parents will be at the wedding and my husbands family lives abroad so they are unable to help.... most likely my husband will be skipping the festivities, which makes me sad. Again, just curious how people would react - it’s making me feel sad but I don’t want to cause hurt feelings by not attending.

Is not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. The out-of-state last "kid free" wedding we were invited to cost us several thousands between the week-end away with the groom's men (husband was in the wedding), the money they spent getting drunk at strip club (eyeroll), the hotel at the wedding venue, renting the outfits, gifts and whatnot. My husband attended while I stayed home with the kids. Never again. I can find a better use of my money. And if you don't care about meeting my kids then don't expect me to get all excited when it's your turn to have a family.

This is why I don't do baby showers/kid's birthday parties anymore. Parents expect everyone to spend so much time/money on stuff for kids, but the second they're invited to a wedding it's "just too much".

[Anonymous]

I would actually ask your cousin what his/her preference is and start a conversation about it. People without kids have no clue what it takes to make these choices and so sometimes it's just that they didn't really think it through. Before you decide definitively, I would talk to them. They may change their mind about bringing your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother has a no kid wedding. We had to hire a babysitter to stay with our kids. Since this is just a cousin, I think you should just go alone.

+1. But it was my sister. It was 2500 miles away, so we hired a sitter for the weekend. She had a four day thing, and I only came for Friday and Saturday. She was annoyed. But she was also annoyed that I had the gall to have a childcare within a year of her wedding, so it is what it is. Weddings turn otherwise normal people slightly insane.

For a cousin’s wedding near your hometown, I would try to get the other cousins together and have a separate spouse’s and kid’s party. That way your cousin gets the adult only party she wants, and you get some of the family bonding that you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“ I think it’s rude to not invite our daughter since, in my opinion, weddings are about celebrating with family and friends (including kids!).”

This is all wrong. Sorry.

+1 The bride and groom get the final say on who is and isn't invited to their wedding, OP.

[Anonymous]

I prefer kid free weddings. I just went to a kid wedding over the weekend and the bride really tried to cater to kids (there were 30 or so). It was lovely but too many kids! They were rolling on the dance floor, running around and people had to leave early to get kids to bed.

I love a good adult wedding with adult cocktails, no kids on the dance floor, and a packed adult dance floor. I have two toddlers. When invited to an out of town wedding, we get a hotel babysitter during the wedding. It’s not a big deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. The out-of-state last "kid free" wedding we were invited to cost us several thousands between the week-end away with the groom's men (husband was in the wedding), the money they spent getting drunk at strip club (eyeroll), the hotel at the wedding venue, renting the outfits, gifts and whatnot. My husband attended while I stayed home with the kids. Never again. I can find a better use of my money. And if you don't care about meeting my kids then don't expect me to get all excited when it's your turn to have a family.

This is why I don't do baby showers/kid's birthday parties anymore. Parents expect everyone to spend so much time/money on stuff for kids, but the second they're invited to a wedding it's "just too much".

Yeah. No one really expects you to fly out for your cousin’s baby shower, stay at a hotel overnight, and buy a new outfit. You can just send a gift. It’s really fine.

[Anonymous]

My sister pulled this crap with her six year old. Lobbied parents and grandparents and ruined the months leading up to our wedding. I still don’t talk to her years later. It was not her event to organize, it was ours. Hate people who think their child is the eighth wonder who just can’t be left with a sitter!