FWB disappeared. Minimal explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry OP. I would be really upset.

Even a FWB situation is a relationship of some kind. You were in each other’s lives for eight years! I think if you want an explanation, ask for one. But even if he gives you one it probably won’t help you feel any better, because it’s still going to feel bad. I’m sorry ☹️

If she can find him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He got married or has now decided to be in committed in a serious relationship. Unless you insulted him in a major way these are the only reasons I can imagine why he would block you everywhere.

Got married? They both were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

I think OP was married too.

Oh. Didn’t think of that. LOL! Okay that makes me a little less annoyed with the idea of a foolish impressionable woman/man being taken advantage of.

It would also mean that they are both trash.

+1

Trash day came.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

She wasn’t used. That is the literal definition of FWB which OP was happy to participate in for 8 years.

+1.

She was disrespected as a friend. It’s not “FB with friendship” for a reason. The behavior calls did zero respect or admiration. What people do this crap?! Common decency just went out the windo when it was okay to wear yoga pants on planes and pajama pants in the hotel lobby. I know I sound old but I’m actually a millennial. Wait. Damn. Nevermind.

“With benefits” implies there was a friendship in place first, before the f-king started. Theirs was an FB not a FWB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems fair to ask for a further explanation.

Why? It’s a total waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems fair to ask for a further explanation.

Why? It’s a total waste of time.

Yes, and desperate.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever been to his house in those 8 years?

[Anonymous]

You can’t have been real friends if he treated you this way; you know this. FWB means people who are friends and are in each other’s lives as friends but have occasional sex on the side unbeknownst to most of their larger group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

I think OP was married too.

Oh. Didn’t think of that. LOL! Okay that makes me a little less annoyed with the idea of a foolish impressionable woman/man being taken advantage of.

It would also mean that they are both trash.

8 years. The person is an idiot to hang in the shadows expecting change. A decade of life wasted.

That’s why I am certain OP was married. No single woman would put up with just crumbs for a decade and never become a legitimate relationship.

Her exit affair did no go as planned. Ghosted.

I’m prone to agree with you, one anecdotal exception comes to mind. A former classmate kept a FWB situation for years with someone what she loved but didn’t think was “good enough”. She dated and met other people all while keeping FWB in the background. Eventually she hit 43 and looked up and realized, no matter how young and beautiful I look, time waits for no one.

She was too afraid to make an investment in herself. Think about that. She didn’t want to take a bet on being alone with her, but expected someone else to. She has a very loving disposition, but she was always creating scenarios that were near impossible to materialize in the things she wanted. It makes me sad. I told her this lovingly the whole way without judgment.

Eventually this friend ghosted me — I divorced, and had two men that were the type of “catch” she was looking for trying to build a relationship, and I was just pushing everyone away while I grieved my (at times horrible) marriage. It hurt, I think the jealousy was too much. I also think that somewhere she felt some shame from behaviors, bought into a narrative about her future, was too naive and it was easier to just block it out than to pretend to be happy when other people around had evolving relationships. She was very much like the 35yo And single person who broke up with her unicorn because she didn’t agree with a hypothetical possibility. She, and one other deeply insecure person, is the only time I’ve heard of someone putting all the chips down on someone else’s roll of the dice.

It makes me sad, but I could not make her heal. I miss her but let the relationship go. She ghosted me (like OPs FWB) and the way she had been ghosted so often. I tried to connect once but she didn’t reach back out and I allowed those embers to cool to dust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

She wasn’t used. That is the literal definition of FWB which OP was happy to participate in for 8 years.

+1.

She was disrespected as a friend. It’s not “FB with friendship” for a reason. The behavior calls did zero respect or admiration. What people do this crap?! Common decency just went out the windo when it was okay to wear yoga pants on planes and pajama pants in the hotel lobby. I know I sound old but I’m actually a millennial. Wait. Damn. Nevermind.

“With benefits” implies there was a friendship in place first, before the f-king started. Theirs was an FB not a FWB.

I’m the PP that first pointed this out and I agree. Either OP was a FB for 8 years and this behavior should not surprise her —- or OP really was a FWB AMD the dude was just disrespectful. I’m also the PP that had been ghosted by someone in a platonic, non-sexual, unromantic friendship and I’ve just leaned that ghosting is something that is done with really, really insecure and careless people.

OP never reported back so was probably a troll, but the DCUM chat was fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

She wasn’t used. That is the literal definition of FWB which OP was happy to participate in for 8 years.

+1.

She was disrespected as a friend. It’s not “FB with friendship” for a reason. The behavior calls did zero respect or admiration. What people do this crap?! Common decency just went out the windo when it was okay to wear yoga pants on planes and pajama pants in the hotel lobby. I know I sound old but I’m actually a millennial. Wait. Damn. Nevermind.

“With benefits” implies there was a friendship in place first, before the f-king started. Theirs was an FB not a FWB.

I’m the PP that first pointed this out and I agree. Either OP was a FB for 8 years and this behavior should not surprise her —- or OP really was a FWB AMD the dude was just disrespectful. I’m also the PP that had been ghosted by someone in a platonic, non-sexual, unromantic friendship and I’ve just leaned that ghosting is something that is done with really, really insecure and careless people.

OP never reported back so was probably a troll, but the DCUM chat was fun.

I am certain she was the gloating 8-year AP putting down the married women in this site and bragging about her “married catch”. She learned her lesson. “8-years” stands out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He got married or has now decided to be in committed in a serious relationship. Unless you insulted him in a major way these are the only reasons I can imagine why he would block you everywhere.

Your imagination is clearly unfettered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

She wasn’t used. That is the literal definition of FWB which OP was happy to participate in for 8 years.

+1.

She was disrespected as a friend. It’s not “FB with friendship” for a reason. The behavior calls did zero respect or admiration. What people do this crap?! Common decency just went out the windo when it was okay to wear yoga pants on planes and pajama pants in the hotel lobby. I know I sound old but I’m actually a millennial. Wait. Damn. Nevermind.

“With benefits” implies there was a friendship in place first, before the f-king started. Theirs was an FB not a FWB.

I’m the PP that first pointed this out and I agree. Either OP was a FB for 8 years and this behavior should not surprise her —- or OP really was a FWB AMD the dude was just disrespectful. I’m also the PP that had been ghosted by someone in a platonic, non-sexual, unromantic friendship and I’ve just leaned that ghosting is something that is done with really, really insecure and careless people.

OP never reported back so was probably a troll, but the DCUM chat was fun.

I am certain she was the gloating 8-year AP putting down the married women in this site and bragging about her “married catch”. She learned her lesson. “8-years” stands out.

Wait. Rewind. Whatchutalkimboutwillis? I missed that. Sorry there are some weekends when I have to be productive so I miss threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

I don't understand how any person who knowingly enters into a FWB situation is "used." What adult does not understand that FWB is more often than not FB (F buddies) which has nothing to do with friendship? It's about sex. No strings sex. Period. When that's what you sign up for, that's what you get. No one is using you. I'm honestly sorry you are hurting, OP. I wouldn't enter into this kind of situation because I know myself--I'd be hurt if the other person showed they didn't care about my feelings but I would know that was part of the set-up and it's why I wouldn't expose myself to it. Some people can handle (truly handle) no-strings. I'm not one of those people. I develop attachments.

All normals develop attachments. That is how we survive as a species and human race. Loners and lone wolfs dont breed a future. Attachments and bonds are inherently relevant even on a practical level.

[Anonymous]

Wolves 🐺