FWB disappeared. Minimal explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

She wasn’t used. That is the literal definition of FWB which OP was happy to participate in for 8 years.

+1.

She was disrespected as a friend. It’s not “FB with friendship” for a reason. The behavior calls did zero respect or admiration. What people do this crap?! Common decency just went out the windo when it was okay to wear yoga pants on planes and pajama pants in the hotel lobby. I know I sound old but I’m actually a millennial. Wait. Damn. Nevermind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

I think OP was married too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

OP said on and off. That is the magic of a good FWB situation. Matter of fact I remember when my former FWB and I had a laugh about how things would eventually end. He said it never lasts forever. One of us will meet someone new and fall back, or one of us will end up having feelings that are unreciprocated, and break it off. He was right. But a friend isn’t like, one of us are going to complete demean the other, dismiss their relevance, and treat them like trash with one sentence that isn’t even properly written in a wack text/email.

I cannot imagine a company I worked with for 8 years saying, with no warning no pandemic no economic crisis, no poor performance — I can’t imagine someone saying. I have to let you go. For no reason. Why? What was the reason? FWB can explain. An employer that has a history and doesn’t want to burn a bridge with you or build a bad rep would explain. We are letting you go because — our firm is bankrupt; we cannot afford you on overhead; you’re a crappy employee and your journalism sucks. Something there is a reason and there is such a rhibg at work as wrongful termination which is why basic decency explains why some agreement is being nullified or cancelled.

Your FB was an arrogant prick, but I imagined that is what you liked about him and made the sex so good? He was not a friend. And I suspect OP was too invested (wanting to see him right upon return) so maybe she missed other clues for such a full and hard stop.

Disappeared? He disappeared. Did he type that text on his deathbed from a hospital? He didn’t disappear. He disposed of himself in an attempt to dispose OP. He took the trash out. Finally.

If he was married OP shame is on you because you know what you’re opening yourself up to with a man that cannot honor a vow or legal contract

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

I think OP was married too.

Oh. Didn’t think of that. LOL! Okay that makes me a little less annoyed with the idea of a foolish impressionable woman/man being taken advantage of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

I think OP was married too.

Oh. Didn’t think of that. LOL! Okay that makes me a little less annoyed with the idea of a foolish impressionable woman/man being taken advantage of.

It would also mean that they are both trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He found someone else that he likes enough to be in a real relationship with. He was just using you for sex. Now that he is having sex with someone he likes enough to be exclusive with, he doesn’t want you in his life. If you can’t deal with that, don’t have friends with benefits.

Yep. You were used for sex.

Did you go out to dinners, concerts, trips in those 8 years or was it just in the bedroom/hook-ups/bootie calls?

Did you ever meet any of his friends or family member? 8 years is almost a decade and if the answer is “no”, you were hidden for a reason. That reason is most likely he was married, in a committed relationship or didn’t want to be seen with you in public.

I don't understand how any person who knowingly enters into a FWB situation is "used." What adult does not understand that FWB is more often than not FB (F buddies) which has nothing to do with friendship? It's about sex. No strings sex. Period. When that's what you sign up for, that's what you get. No one is using you. I'm honestly sorry you are hurting, OP. I wouldn't enter into this kind of situation because I know myself--I'd be hurt if the other person showed they didn't care about my feelings but I would know that was part of the set-up and it's why I wouldn't expose myself to it. Some people can handle (truly handle) no-strings. I'm not one of those people. I develop attachments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This isn't how a friend behaves. I can understand you're hurt, OP. Sorry. My first thought was that he's married, but who knows...

FWB aren’t really friends, though

[Anonymous]

OP were you waiting for him to come around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This isn't how a friend behaves. I can understand you're hurt, OP. Sorry. My first thought was that he's married, but who knows...

FWB aren’t really friends, though

No. Not unless they were friends for a long time prior to hooking up.

Meeting someone online and banging instantly and continuing to just bang, isn’t a friendship and nobody respects you in that situation. You are disposable. No matter how long you were just screwing. Bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP were you waiting for him to come around?

Duh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?

I think OP was married too.

Oh. Didn’t think of that. LOL! Okay that makes me a little less annoyed with the idea of a foolish impressionable woman/man being taken advantage of.

It would also mean that they are both trash.

8 years. The person is an idiot to hang in the shadows expecting change. A decade of life wasted.

That’s why I am certain OP was married. No single woman would put up with just crumbs for a decade and never become a legitimate relationship.

Her exit affair did no go as planned. Ghosted.

[Anonymous]

I’m really sorry OP. I would be really upset.

Even a FWB situation is a relationship of some kind. You were in each other’s lives for eight years! I think if you want an explanation, ask for one. But even if he gives you one it probably won’t help you feel any better, because it’s still going to feel bad. I’m sorry ☹️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You yourself describe as FWB. What more do you really expect?

Because the operative word is FRIENDS. Friends don't block each other without explanation.

+1 . I agree with this. No need to ghost.

[Anonymous]

He got married or has now decided to be in committed in a serious relationship. Unless you insulted him in a major way these are the only reasons I can imagine why he would block you everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You yourself describe as FWB. What more do you really expect?

Because the operative word is FRIENDS. Friends don't block each other without explanation.

+1 . I agree with this. No need to ghost.

He wasn’t a friend. That’s the entire point. They only f@cked. It’s was a f@ck buddy/NSA. She delusionaly read “friend” into it.

You give it up for free and don’t expect respect, you won’t get any.