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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you not date others or have any exclusive relationships in 8 years?[/quote]

I think OP was married too.[/quote]

Oh. Didn’t think of that. LOL! Okay that makes me a little less annoyed with the idea of a foolish impressionable woman/man being taken advantage of. [/quote]

It would also mean that they are both trash.[/quote]

8 years.  The person is an idiot to hang in the shadows expecting change.  A decade of life wasted.

That’s why I am certain OP was married.  No single woman would put up with just crumbs for a decade and never become a legitimate relationship.

Her exit affair did no go as planned.  Ghosted.[/quote]

I’m prone to agree with you, one anecdotal exception comes to mind. A former classmate kept a FWB situation for years with someone what she loved but didn’t think was “good enough”. She dated and met other people all while keeping FWB in the background. Eventually she hit 43 and looked up and realized, no matter how young and beautiful I look, time waits for no one.

She was too afraid to make an investment in herself. Think about that. She didn’t want to take a bet on being alone with her, but expected someone else to. She has a very loving disposition, but she was always creating scenarios that were near impossible to materialize in the things she wanted. It makes me sad. I told her this lovingly the whole way without judgment.

Eventually this friend ghosted me — I divorced, and had two men that were the type of “catch” she was looking for trying to build a relationship, and I was just pushing everyone away while I grieved my (at times horrible) marriage. It hurt, I think the jealousy was too much. I also think that somewhere she felt some shame from behaviors, bought into a narrative about her future, was too naive and it was easier to just block it out than to pretend to be happy when other people around had evolving relationships. She was very much like the 35yo And single person who broke up with her unicorn because she didn’t agree with a hypothetical possibility. She, and one other deeply insecure person, is the only time I’ve heard of someone putting all the chips down on someone else’s roll of the dice.

It makes me sad, but I could not make her heal. I miss her but let the relationship go. She ghosted me (like OPs FWB) and the way she had been ghosted so often. I tried to connect once but she didn’t reach back out and I allowed those embers to cool to dust.[/quote]

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