Talk sense into me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called karma. You lost OP.

That's why it stings. Karma's a b#tch.

Yep. If he does think of her, it’s “sux it b@tch! Look what I have now.”

She didn't believe in him and he succeeded nonetheless. He could be a perfectly nice guy with a nice family of his own. I doubt he ever thinks of op.[b]

This.

[Anonymous]

Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

OP’s feelings are not normal. If, as she says, she’s over him, she’s happily married, and she doesn’t care about money, then her ex BF’s sudden wealt would be no more than a passing thought, not a rumination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

OP’s feelings are not normal. If, as she says, she’s over him, she’s happily married, and she doesn’t care about money, then her ex BF’s sudden wealt would be no more than a passing thought, not a rumination.

It is normal. What is not normal is that you are so angry about it. Project much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

OP’s feelings are not normal. If, as she says, she’s over him, she’s happily married, and she doesn’t care about money, then her ex BF’s sudden wealt would be no more than a passing thought, not a rumination.

It is normal. What is not normal is that you are so angry about it. Project much?

Cuckoo. Maybe normal for perpetually unhappy people that settled in marriage.

There are certain types of people that are never happy with what they have and always want to blame somebody else for the way they feel. They are masters at reinventing history. Look at the past with rose colored glasses and always think about what might have been instead of putting that time and energy into fixing themselves and their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

OP’s feelings are not normal. If, as she says, she’s over him, she’s happily married, and she doesn’t care about money, then her ex BF’s sudden wealt would be no more than a passing thought, not a rumination.

It is normal. What is not normal is that you are so angry about it. Project much?

Cuckoo. Maybe normal for perpetually unhappy people that settled in marriage.

There are certain types of people that are never happy with what they have and always want to blame somebody else for the way they feel. They are masters at reinventing history. Look at the past with rose colored glasses and always think about what might have been instead of putting that time and energy into fixing themselves and their marriage.

Why don’t you start your own thread if you want to complain about your exwife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

OP’s feelings are not normal. If, as she says, she’s over him, she’s happily married, and she doesn’t care about money, then her ex BF’s sudden wealt would be no more than a passing thought, not a rumination.

It is normal. What is not normal is that you are so angry about it. Project much?

Cuckoo. Maybe normal for perpetually unhappy people that settled in marriage.

There are certain types of people that are never happy with what they have and always want to blame somebody else for the way they feel. They are masters at reinventing history. Look at the past with rose colored glasses and always think about what might have been instead of putting that time and energy into fixing themselves and their marriage.

NP. There are people that are that way. However nothing that op has described reflects that mentality in the least. People wonder if a different career, house, relationship etc may have changed their current standing. Wondering, asking for a reminder to be optimistic, and centering back to reality is 100% normal. There is a lot of projection of bias you’re putting out onto OP that just isn’t there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op don’t listen these mean bitter people. Someone hurt them.
It’s normal to wonder sometimes about about “what if’s” or have occasional envy, and anyone who claims otherwise is just lying. I have an ex who I do wonder about too,. I don’t actually wish things turned out differently, but it’s natural to think about the past sometimes.

OP’s feelings are not normal. If, as she says, she’s over him, she’s happily married, and she doesn’t care about money, then her ex BF’s sudden wealt would be no more than a passing thought, not a rumination.

It is normal. What is not normal is that you are so angry about it. Project much?

Cuckoo. Maybe normal for perpetually unhappy people that settled in marriage.

There are certain types of people that are never happy with what they have and always want to blame somebody else for the way they feel. They are masters at reinventing history. Look at the past with rose colored glasses and always think about what might have been instead of putting that time and energy into fixing themselves and their marriage.

Why don’t you start your own thread if you want to complain about your exwife

But there is so much more gratification in shining the spotlight on my wounded soul here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called karma. You lost OP.

That's why it stings. Karma's a b#tch.

Yep. If he does think of her, it’s “sux it b@tch! Look what I have now.”

She didn't believe in him and he succeeded nonetheless. He could be a perfectly nice guy with a nice family of his own. I doubt he ever thinks of op.

I see it differently. My conclusion is what OP said: she didn’t like the new person he was becoming. It was a good relationship. It was a season, not a lifetime. To see him now makes her wonder, but that is all. She is fine.

I left my ex-husband because he became toxic. I hear stories of couples that healed from similar tragedy. It makes me wonder at times if I truly did the right thing. Once all of the cards are stacked against each other, I remain 100% confident in my choice. That is what allows for happiness when others experience a different outcome than you could ever imagine.

Also, I have an ex much like OP’s. He will likely be a multi-billionaire. It could have happened with me, but I would be lonely and disenchanted. Like the PP who said she is in a home filled with diamonds and Lear jets but feels poor in spirit. There is nothing wrong with thinking or ruminating. The problem only occurs when you cannot differentiate between the past and the present, ans inaccurate data/conclusions/thoughts impact your current situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Ignore the bitter btches, OP. They’re not happy unless they’ve insulted someone for the day. It’s their version of doing a nice deed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mistakes=she cheated on him

That's how I read that, too.

And that says a lot about you two. Pathetic. Not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He dumped you. It's over.

No kidding, like I said it’s ancient history. Thanks for your helpful response. Your friends and family must seek out your counsel all the time!

DP. Face reality. It’s true. You were dumped. You weren’t what he was looking for...and less so now that you are old with baggage.

Not OP. You’re a bitter btch.

She asked for 100% honesty. That’s what was given.

If the guy is rich now his options are endless. He could do much better than someone he didn’t even want when he was in his prime looks wise. He’s rich now.

Welcome to DCUM, where every interaction between a man and a woman is transactional.

She is the one that is pining over her ex’s newfound riches. She didn’t care until somebody told her he is rich now.

Yep. This is what OP wrote:

“Anyway, I recently heard through the grapevine that he has come into a ridiculously massive financial windfall, more money than could ever be spent. I’m talking incredible financial success, hitting the lottery so to speak. It’s thrown me for a loop, even though I know it shouldn’t.”

She’s jealous of the $$ and thinks “if only I stayed”. Gross

Why is that gross? You know if she was your friend and she married some incredible rich guy you would be jelli. Who wants to be married to some working class loser when you could be chilling out on your yacht in Bora Bora laughing?

So many hypocrites responding as if they’re beyond these things of feelings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Everybody makes mistakes. We are all human. "Only ifs" never fully go away but they need to be controlled. "If only I had given that person a chance", "If only we didn't have that argument the night we broke up", "If only I said, "honey, we're both young, how about if I move to the new city with you"? But that's life. So much of what happens to us is random.

Your husband and kids might be great, but normal life and work tensions can easily change the narrative to "if only it worked out I would be in a mansion driving a Bentley with not a money worry in the world." However, I am sure there would be other issues.And you might have still broken up later on. You don't want him at this point in your life, and moving the past to the present is a Pandora's Box. But I have no doubt that every once in a while he probably thinks well of you, so leave it at that.

This

I don’t think of any of my past relationships. Never have i thought what could have been or what they are doing now. A good reason is I fell head over heels in love with my spouse at 26 and none of them compared. I could care less what they are doing now. I think most people that are happy with their station in life don’t romanticize the past and aren’t on Facebook trying to connect with HS boyfriends/girlfriends.

WTF are you going on about? OP wasn’t trying to reconnect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mistakes=she cheated on him

That's how I read that, too.

Me three.

No matter how much the “lady” doth protests.

Just because you have the morals of a mongrel, doesn’t mean OP does.

[Anonymous]

OP, this isn't about you -not- having a good life without him, it's about him having a good life without you!! How dare he. I get it. But it's far from unique. Your thoughts are not unique. Your thoughts are so ordinary, you may as well forget them. Maybe it would help if you looked at it this wasy ~ look at your children. They are the children you were suppose to have (don't you feel this way? I think every mother feels this way)