Talk sense into me
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Anonymous
| I already know the answer to this but need somewhere to vent. I’m a happily married woman with wonderful children and I know I am lucky. My husband works very hard and does so much for us. I work too, and we have a happy and upper middle class life. My ex bf from many years ago still crosses my thoughts every once in a while. I was madly in love with him, he was a great guy, but after several years he ended things. We were young and long distance at that point and I made my share of mistakes in the relationship which contributed to its demise. The breakup was messy and it took me along time to get over it. It’s all ancient history now and it’s many years ago. Anyway, I recently heard through the grapevine that he has come into a ridiculously massive financial windfall, more money than could ever be spent. I’m talking incredible financial success, hitting the lottery so to speak. It’s thrown me for a loop, even though I know it shouldn’t. How do I shake this feeling? It’s like a combination of jealousy, questioning what if, bringing up old feelings from a different time. I know money is not everything, I continually try to instill that in my own children. I feel foolish and guilty for even giving it a second thought, I have a wonderful family, we have our health, I wouldn’t trade my children for the world, we have so much. So why am I ruminating this? Talk some sense into me. |
Anonymous
| How did you come across this information? I think it might help you to create some boundaries in that area. |
Anonymous
Op here. I did not seek this information out, and wish it did not make its way to me. I don’t keep tabs on this person through social media etc. |
Anonymous
so how did you find out? |
Anonymous
| He dumped you. It's over. |
Anonymous
This. Are you still in touch with people who know him? Did you google him out of curiosity? |
Anonymous
I heard from a friend who heard from a friend... there are loose connections still. But I don’t normally hear anything about him and don’t ask. It’a noteworthy news I guess |
Anonymous
No kidding, like I said it’s ancient history. Thanks for your helpful response. Your friends and family must seek out your counsel all the time! |
Anonymous
| You're not happily married, and you should stop telling yourself that and find a therapist. |
Anonymous
| Quit living in the past. Eyes forward. |
Anonymous
DP. Face reality. It’s true. You were dumped. You weren’t what he was looking for...and less so now that you are old with baggage. |
Anonymous
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You made mistakes. Yep. Ok. Now that he’s rich you want him.
Loser. |
Anonymous
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These feelings sound normal. You’ll get over them.
But I admit I don’t understand the obsession people in this area have with money. |
Anonymous
|
Reasons for ruminating:
-- even if you were a supermodel with an Ivy league pedigree, nobody likes getting dumped -- there was never any closure - a talk about why it ended and what you meant to each other -- you care about money a lot more than you admit. If he was in middle management, you might think once in a while, "I wonder what ever happened to Tom", but nothing like this Reason for not ruminating: -- you have no idea what this man is like today. If you are talking about great wealth, assuming he is a Silicon Valley type whose company went public. -- if he is or has been married, you have no inkling of how he is as a husband. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like a normal human reaction to me. I agree, you’ll get over it. Sometimes a reminder of our pasts can be jarring. Focus on your family and put it out of your mind, it doesn’t matter to your life one way or another. Money does not bring happiness |