Talk sense into me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He dumped you. It's over.

No kidding, like I said it’s ancient history. Thanks for your helpful response. Your friends and family must seek out your counsel all the time!

DP. Face reality. It’s true. You were dumped. You weren’t what he was looking for...and less so now that you are old with baggage.

Not OP. You’re a bitter btch.

She asked for 100% honesty. That’s what was given.

If the guy is rich now his options are endless. He could do much better than someone he didn’t even want when he was in his prime looks wise. He’s rich now.

Welcome to DCUM, where every interaction between a man and a woman is transactional.

She is the one that is pining over her ex’s newfound riches. She didn’t care until somebody told her he is rich now.

Yep. This is what OP wrote:

“Anyway, I recently heard through the grapevine that he has come into a ridiculously massive financial windfall, more money than could ever be spent. I’m talking incredible financial success, hitting the lottery so to speak. It’s thrown me for a loop, even though I know it shouldn’t.”

She’s jealous of the $$ and thinks “if only I stayed”. Gross

Why is that gross? You know if she was your friend and she married some incredible rich guy you would be jelli. Who wants to be married to some working class loser when you could be chilling out on your yacht in Bora Bora laughing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Everybody makes mistakes. We are all human. "Only ifs" never fully go away but they need to be controlled. "If only I had given that person a chance", "If only we didn't have that argument the night we broke up", "If only I said, "honey, we're both young, how about if I move to the new city with you"? But that's life. So much of what happens to us is random.

Your husband and kids might be great, but normal life and work tensions can easily change the narrative to "if only it worked out I would be in a mansion driving a Bentley with not a money worry in the world." However, I am sure there would be other issues.And you might have still broken up later on. You don't want him at this point in your life, and moving the past to the present is a Pandora's Box. But I have no doubt that every once in a while he probably thinks well of you, so leave it at that.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will this help? My husband came into a lot of money--like never has to work again type money, and I couldn't be less happy in my marriage. I hate him. Trust me, money does not make happiness.

Leave and take your half unless it’s in a trust and then you’re screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Everybody makes mistakes. We are all human. "Only ifs" never fully go away but they need to be controlled. "If only I had given that person a chance", "If only we didn't have that argument the night we broke up", "If only I said, "honey, we're both young, how about if I move to the new city with you"? But that's life. So much of what happens to us is random.

Your husband and kids might be great, but normal life and work tensions can easily change the narrative to "if only it worked out I would be in a mansion driving a Bentley with not a money worry in the world." However, I am sure there would be other issues.And you might have still broken up later on. You don't want him at this point in your life, and moving the past to the present is a Pandora's Box. But I have no doubt that every once in a while he probably thinks well of you, so leave it at that.

This

I don’t think of any of my past relationships. Never have i thought what could have been or what they are doing now. A good reason is I fell head over heels in love with my spouse at 26 and none of them compared. I could care less what they are doing now. I think most people that are happy with their station in life don’t romanticize the past and aren’t on Facebook trying to connect with HS boyfriends/girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Everybody makes mistakes. We are all human. "Only ifs" never fully go away but they need to be controlled. "If only I had given that person a chance", "If only we didn't have that argument the night we broke up", "If only I said, "honey, we're both young, how about if I move to the new city with you"? But that's life. So much of what happens to us is random.

Your husband and kids might be great, but normal life and work tensions can easily change the narrative to "if only it worked out I would be in a mansion driving a Bentley with not a money worry in the world." However, I am sure there would be other issues.And you might have still broken up later on. You don't want him at this point in your life, and moving the past to the present is a Pandora's Box. But I have no doubt that every once in a while he probably thinks well of you, so leave it at that.

This

I don’t think of any of my past relationships. Never have i thought what could have been or what they are doing now. A good reason is I fell head over heels in love with my spouse at 26 and none of them compared. I could care less what they are doing now. I think most people that are happy with their station in life don’t romanticize the past and aren’t on Facebook trying to connect with HS boyfriends/girlfriends.

Then you must be very lucky in your perfect marriage that is amazing all the time and never has any ups and downs. I think most of the rest of us have occasional relationship moments that are less than stellar and occasionally wonder "what if". I also recognize that it's just a fantasy, I don't really know said ex from 20 years ago (I'm certainly not the same person I was 20 years ago), and there was a reason we broke up...

I mean, I also occasionally fantasize I'm a character in one of my favorite fantasy novels. I fully recognize I'm a middle aged mom and not an elven warrior princess. I am not going to run away from home in search of that dark hidden world of magical creatures. But it's fun to fantasize. A way to escape from mundane chores. But you probably don't have any of those either.

[Anonymous]

^I love my career and kids, my siblings, teaching exercise classes, etc. I have plans for when the kids leave for college in 5 years. My spouse and I are looking at another vacation home. So, no, I don’t relate. Anytime I had problems I took action and did something to better myself/relationship instead of sitting on the couch wallowing and crating false past narratives about what could have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He dumped you. It's over.

No kidding, like I said it’s ancient history. Thanks for your helpful response. Your friends and family must seek out your counsel all the time!

DP. Face reality. It’s true. You were dumped. You weren’t what he was looking for...and less so now that you are old with baggage.

Not OP. You’re a bitter btch.

She asked for 100% honesty. That’s what was given.

If the guy is rich now his options are endless. He could do much better than someone he didn’t even want when he was in his prime looks wise. He’s rich now.

Welcome to DCUM, where every interaction between a man and a woman is transactional.

She is the one that is pining over her ex’s newfound riches. She didn’t care until somebody told her he is rich now.

Yep. This is what OP wrote:

“Anyway, I recently heard through the grapevine that he has come into a ridiculously massive financial windfall, more money than could ever be spent. I’m talking incredible financial success, hitting the lottery so to speak. It’s thrown me for a loop, even though I know it shouldn’t.”

She’s jealous of the $$ and thinks “if only I stayed”. Gross

Why is that gross? You know if she was your friend and she married some incredible rich guy you would be jelli. Who wants to be married to some working class loser when you could be chilling out on your yacht in Bora Bora laughing?

I don’t get “jelli”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mistakes=she cheated on him

That's how I read that, too.

Me three.

No matter how much the “lady” doth protests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called karma. You lost OP.

That's why it stings. Karma's a b#tch.

Yep. If he does think of her, it’s “sux it b@tch! Look what I have now.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Hi OP, I’m the long winded PP right below and we cross posted. I hear you and didn’t think one critical thought, even while reading others. Most people who read and don’t post are probably identifying in some way with no need to publicly state so. What you just posted is exactly the point I was seeking to address with you. After hearing the personality clash as he went on a new trajectory, I would say you can be thankful that being with you made him step his game up. Your open heart despite the sadness allowed room for true love, and wealth too even if it’s not Bezo dollars. Look at this news as an affirmation and not anything to feel guilty about. The way you may feel if you left a long term employer that you truly loved working with, because the culture changed — ans later had your own success, but heard of a new M&A with the other company. You made the right choice and so did they. Maybe your paths cross again, or maybe your paths are uniquely distinct in the rare windfall you both have the opportunity to walk into as the best version of your self for the time set before you.

Happy Sunday

Thank you! Appreciate your thoughtful response and I know you are right, I will take it to heart.

[Anonymous]

I mean it’s normal to be nostalgic about past loves. I am also leading an ordinary upper middle class life with two squawking kids and found out my ex is now an up and coming politician. Asides from thinking wow good for him and being nostalgic then you move on. It is what it is and I assume you love your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Everybody makes mistakes. We are all human. "Only ifs" never fully go away but they need to be controlled. "If only I had given that person a chance", "If only we didn't have that argument the night we broke up", "If only I said, "honey, we're both young, how about if I move to the new city with you"? But that's life. So much of what happens to us is random.

Your husband and kids might be great, but normal life and work tensions can easily change the narrative to "if only it worked out I would be in a mansion driving a Bentley with not a money worry in the world." However, I am sure there would be other issues.And you might have still broken up later on. You don't want him at this point in your life, and moving the past to the present is a Pandora's Box. But I have no doubt that every once in a while he probably thinks well of you, so leave it at that.

This

I don’t think of any of my past relationships. Never have i thought what could have been or what they are doing now. A good reason is I fell head over heels in love with my spouse at 26 and none of them compared. I could care less what they are doing now. I think most people that are happy with their station in life don’t romanticize the past and aren’t on Facebook trying to connect with HS boyfriends/girlfriends.

Then you must be very lucky in your perfect marriage that is amazing all the time and never has any ups and downs. I think most of the rest of us have occasional relationship moments that are less than stellar and occasionally wonder "what if". I also recognize that it's just a fantasy, I don't really know said ex from 20 years ago (I'm certainly not the same person I was 20 years ago), and there was a reason we broke up...

I mean, I also occasionally fantasize I'm a character in one of my favorite fantasy novels. I fully recognize I'm a middle aged mom and not an elven warrior princess. I am not going to run away from home in search of that dark hidden world of magical creatures. But it's fun to fantasize. A way to escape from mundane chores. But you probably don't have any of those either.

I don’t know, I was with you until this part. I see your elven warrior crown ma’lady, and its bling-blinging from my perch! Warriors in sweatpants. They come in all types! 😊. (Thanks for the laugh)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He dumped you. It's over.

No kidding, like I said it’s ancient history. Thanks for your helpful response. Your friends and family must seek out your counsel all the time!

DP. Face reality. It’s true. You were dumped. You weren’t what he was looking for...and less so now that you are old with baggage.

Not OP. You’re a bitter btch.

She asked for 100% honesty. That’s what was given.

If the guy is rich now his options are endless. He could do much better than someone he didn’t even want when he was in his prime looks wise. He’s rich now.

Welcome to DCUM, where every interaction between a man and a woman is transactional.

She is the one that is pining over her ex’s newfound riches. She didn’t care until somebody told her he is rich now.

Yep. This is what OP wrote:

“Anyway, I recently heard through the grapevine that he has come into a ridiculously massive financial windfall, more money than could ever be spent. I’m talking incredible financial success, hitting the lottery so to speak. It’s thrown me for a loop, even though I know it shouldn’t.”

She’s jealous of the $$ and thinks “if only I stayed”. Gross

Why is that gross? You know if she was your friend and she married some incredible rich guy you would be jelli. Who wants to be married to some working class loser when you could be chilling out on your yacht in Bora Bora laughing?

I don’t get “jelli”

That statement confirms that clearly you are not ready for that “anyways” because PP’s body is too bootylicious for you. /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.

But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars.

Hi OP, I’m the long winded PP right below and we cross posted. I hear you and didn’t think one critical thought, even while reading others. Most people who read and don’t post are probably identifying in some way with no need to publicly state so. What you just posted is exactly the point I was seeking to address with you. After hearing the personality clash as he went on a new trajectory, I would say you can be thankful that being with you made him step his game up. Your open heart despite the sadness allowed room for true love, and wealth too even if it’s not Bezo dollars. Look at this news as an affirmation and not anything to feel guilty about. The way you may feel if you left a long term employer that you truly loved working with, because the culture changed — ans later had your own success, but heard of a new M&A with the other company. You made the right choice and so did they. Maybe your paths cross again, or maybe your paths are uniquely distinct in the rare windfall you both have the opportunity to walk into as the best version of your self for the time set before you.

Happy Sunday

Thank you! Appreciate your thoughtful response and I know you are right, I will take it to heart.

You’re welcome, thanks for actually reading it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called karma. You lost OP.

That's why it stings. Karma's a b#tch.

Yep. If he does think of her, it’s “sux it b@tch! Look what I have now.”

She didn't believe in him and he succeeded nonetheless. He could be a perfectly nice guy with a nice family of his own. I doubt he ever thinks of op.