Talk sense into me
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Anonymous
Or he’s still a nice guy that OP sh@t on when she was young. |
Anonymous
| It’s called karma. You lost OP. |
Anonymous
Welcome to DCUM, where every interaction between a man and a woman is transactional. |
Anonymous
| Mistakes=she cheated on him |
Anonymous
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I am think of a line from an Indiana Jones movie.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjMlO7GgbrtAhULGVkFHeJ8AtsQwqsBMAR6BAgIEAg&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DUbw5N8iVDHI&usg=AOvVaw0tgazP2sP0rfoVABylSqnn OP the only thing you can do is pick a fight with your husband and cut off all sex. It’s the only reasonable thing to do. |
Anonymous
She is the one that is pining over her ex’s newfound riches. She didn’t care until somebody told her he is rich now. |
Anonymous
Yep. This is what OP wrote: “Anyway, I recently heard through the grapevine that he has come into a ridiculously massive financial windfall, more money than could ever be spent. I’m talking incredible financial success, hitting the lottery so to speak. It’s thrown me for a loop, even though I know it shouldn’t.” She’s jealous of the $$ and thinks “if only I stayed”. Gross |
Anonymous
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Op here. Geez people. I didn’t cheat on my ex bf and I have never been a gold digger. I made my share of mistakes that lead to the breakup but we had several years of happiness together. One of the reasons we grew apart was bc he became hyper focused on becoming rich, which wasn’t important to me. He fell in with a circle of “bros” and changed somewhat from the genuine guy he had been. He moved to another city for a job and I wasn’t supportive. We were young and just starting out professionally and weren’t ready to compromise for each other. It was a sad breakup. Hearing about him after all this time was salt in some wounds I didn’t realize still existed. And yeah thinking about a couple hundred million when I’m in the working parent grind makes me a bit envious. It’s not a good look, I know, which is why I’m complaining on an anonymous forum.
But yes of course it’s ridiculous and know I don’t want him at this point in my life, and I’m sure Th e feeling is mutual. Just a weird and unexpected feeling. I will get back to focusing on my life and my kids who i wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars. |
Anonymous
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It’s normal to ask yourself the what-ifs. There was a guy I turned down the night I met my husband at a black tie gala. He owned a jet and I remember rolling my eyes at his money. It happens, especially when you face tough times. We both know money isn’t the key to happiness, it is the ability to love the resources and gifts in life that you are blessed with. This includes the miracle of giving birth to family, the strong and close knit bonds of intimacy that are only forged in a vulnerable and whole marriage. The joy of discovery and growth with the security and good fortune of someone trustworthy that you find joy in sharing moments. Happiness doesn’t feel different whether it is from a joke or a thought or the idea of security that comes from money than you can imagine. Joy is indiscriminate and there are many who choose not to accept it outside of their preferred source. You’re bigger than that. Instead of wondering, be happy for him. Be thankful that someone in your past was an investment from you (good or bad) that set him on a trajectory for this blessing. I’d you can reframe your nostalgia in a way that doesn’t remove honor from your husband children or yourself, you would be surprised at the new surprises that gratitude can usher in. Be happy, not regretful. Remember being at your worst moment in the relationship with this person, and consider that he may never have reached this good fortune with you; you may have never been able to find the joy and companionship you have in your husband; your beautiful children or family would not exist at all. That is all you have to compare. You don’t know what your or his future would have been like with you. Maybe he would have bored you and your dissatisfaction made him insecure. Maybe you would have been in a tragic accident. Who knows? I’d suggest I’d suggest if you’re going to wonder, be fair in considering the losses you would have in taking a risk of uncertainty in the joy you feel today.
Your life is a gift. Your parents created you and with a different choice you wouldn’t exist. Reframe your perpective to one of love and gratitude, appreciation for the season of life uou shared, and segue back into the stage of joy and happiness you have now. That will remove the guilt of finding someone else’s blessing and good fortune threatening. And if you value money more? Work with what you have now to access it. Money is available to all who seek it, you have to make uncomfortable sacrifices, but the option is there. That alone is a gift that most of the world never lay claim to because their homeland doesn’t have that resource. |
Anonymous
Everybody makes mistakes. We are all human. "Only ifs" never fully go away but they need to be controlled. "If only I had given that person a chance", "If only we didn't have that argument the night we broke up", "If only I said, "honey, we're both young, how about if I move to the new city with you"? But that's life. So much of what happens to us is random. Your husband and kids might be great, but normal life and work tensions can easily change the narrative to "if only it worked out I would be in a mansion driving a Bentley with not a money worry in the world." However, I am sure there would be other issues.And you might have still broken up later on. You don't want him at this point in your life, and moving the past to the present is a Pandora's Box. But I have no doubt that every once in a while he probably thinks well of you, so leave it at that. |
Anonymous
Hi OP, I’m the long winded PP right below and we cross posted. I hear you and didn’t think one critical thought, even while reading others. Most people who read and don’t post are probably identifying in some way with no need to publicly state so. What you just posted is exactly the point I was seeking to address with you. After hearing the personality clash as he went on a new trajectory, I would say you can be thankful that being with you made him step his game up. Your open heart despite the sadness allowed room for true love, and wealth too even if it’s not Bezo dollars. Look at this news as an affirmation and not anything to feel guilty about. The way you may feel if you left a long term employer that you truly loved working with, because the culture changed — ans later had your own success, but heard of a new M&A with the other company. You made the right choice and so did they. Maybe your paths cross again, or maybe your paths are uniquely distinct in the rare windfall you both have the opportunity to walk into as the best version of your self for the time set before you. Happy Sunday 
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Anonymous
+1. Totally agree, OP. Be thankful for the season you shared together; no more, no less. |
Anonymous
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OP: DCUM, talk some sense into me!
DCUM: commences to verbal ass kickings, tomato throwing, jeering and booing OP: *Runs back into home, slams door shut; looks back to to see Sense, calmly waiting for an embrace from OP* Sense: Welcome back, OP. Come on over here and bring it in for a good hug. OP: *happily throws her arms around Sense* Thank you! Life just isn’t the same when we aren’t together. Thanks for staying by my side, even when I am willing to leave yours. The End!
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Anonymous
That's why it stings. Karma's a b#tch. |
Anonymous
That's how I read that, too. |