How To Find A SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Shaadi.Com

No prenup though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37 and single. I’ve been trying I find a certain type of woman and just haven’t. You can say I’m looking for a 1950’s housewife. I don’t expect a servant or anything like that, but I wanted a woman who wants to stay at home taking care of her kids and husband. I’m looking for a woman who wants to take care of raising the kids and responsibilities of the household, while I work and manage things like finances. Most of the women I meet want to be a SAHM only short-term, or want to be a SAHM but expect the man to be a 50/50 partner in childcare and household responsibilities. I’m looking for a woman who can handle the bulk of it. How do I find a woman like this?

The same way I found a dh who has provided and cared for me and our children while remaining loving, faithful and devoted: meet when you are 20 years old and discuss and work out your plan.

[Anonymous]

Details of the prenup matter a lot IMO. If I were marrying someone worth $10 million I would not expect to be able to walk away with $5 million if I divorced him a year later. But if we were married for twenty years and three kids and he was worth $30 million when I found out he was cheating? I’d damn well want to leave with ten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make a ton of money. A fair amount of women would be willing to do the bulk of of the child/household work, so long as you make plenty to provide a good lifestyle and house help when she needs/wants it, since you aren’t willing to pitch in. She will also want to make sure, in the event of divorce, that her “half” will be still be a lot and keep her comfortable , since she pretty much gave up a career and even if she goes back to work, so won’t make nearly what she could have or once did.

OP here. I was in a relationship that just ended here I thought I found the one. We were very in love and happy but she refused to sign a prenup. I own multiple businesses and have a decent net worth. A prenup is non-negotiable. Most women do not want to sign one.

Of course. Think about what you are asking. You want someone to give up her career entirely, and with it the means of providing for herself for decades. And at the same time, you want her to sign away any rights to assets she could use to support herself.

Thinking about it in terms that you may understand better, you are asking someone to give up a career. You need to compensate her for that.

Good idea. OP, you're basically asking her to join your unproven start-up as COO, commit to work 60 hr+/week, sign an 18-30 year exclusive non-compete, get zero equity while you retain 100%, but be satisfied that you're going to bring free lunch in on Fridays. Is that a good deal? It is not.

You say you want to divide the labor but your insistence on a prenup shows you think of her labor (and commitment to sacrifice her own ability to support herself) as meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Details of the prenup matter a lot IMO. If I were marrying someone worth $10 million I would not expect to be able to walk away with $5 million if I divorced him a year later. But if we were married for twenty years and three kids and he was worth $30 million when I found out he was cheating? I’d damn well want to leave with ten.

If the OP is expecting a hypothetical wife (which, let's face it, will probably never happen assuming he's not a troll) to put her career on hold, then it's absolutely reasonable for her to expect half of any appreciation in assets in an divorce.

[Anonymous]

Tale as old as time, man seeks traditional woman, but demands modernity when it comes to a prenup.

You want tradition without any downsides.

[Anonymous]

I’d also balk at a prenup although I have many friends who have them.

I personally think it’s saying your number one priority is money.

You sound like you married your business. I don’t think you will find love, sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tale as old as time, man seeks traditional woman, but demands modernity when it comes to a prenup.

You want tradition without any downsides.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tale as old as time, man seeks traditional woman, but demands modernity when it comes to a prenup.

You want tradition without any downsides.

+1.

Op - the prenup needs to reward her for staying home with children. Something like - 50% of any assets earned after the marriage date.

Even then, gosh this is so transactional. Again, don’t see why you should get married!

[Anonymous]

I do all of what OP wants (and I handle the finances). My husband makes 100% of the money now. We met in law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do all of what OP wants (and I handle the finances). My husband makes 100% of the money now. We met in law school.

No way in Hades would I have agreed to stay home if we had a prenup unless it gave me half of everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do all of what OP wants (and I handle the finances). My husband makes 100% of the money now. We met in law school.

He doesn't want her to have the ability to handle the finances, and he wants a pre-nup. Very different than your set-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all of what OP wants (and I handle the finances). My husband makes 100% of the money now. We met in law school.

He doesn't want her to have the ability to handle the finances, and he wants a pre-nup. Very different than your set-up.

That is because my husband isn’t an ass.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you OP. I don’t know why or how my brothers and lots of friends ended up in these great marriages. The partnerships are amazing to watch. These couples host the best Christmas parties and summer cookouts. Something special with a confident SAHM. I couldn’t find one. She went back to work and then we divorced. But I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all of what OP wants (and I handle the finances). My husband makes 100% of the money now. We met in law school.

He doesn't want her to have the ability to handle the finances, and he wants a pre-nup. Very different than your set-up.

He never said that. He said he could handle the fianances. But it wasn’t to the exclusion of the wife. It was obviously his attempt at adding value.