Never Been Married- 45 Year Old Woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re-entered the dating world after a 15 year marriage ended amicably, fwiw. Two kids, split custody, no lawyer etc. All good, no hate.

Started dating with Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and the never married mid 40s women are just- God help me for being honest here-super duper odd. Like, no wonder they never married.

What is that? They're OK to casually date, but the idea that it would go further is just a nonstarter. This isn't just for me, btw. Male friends and colleagues all report the exact.same.thing.

What is it? And more importantly, where do I find the 'normal' ones?

Never marrieds past the age of 40 are that way for good reason. I suppose the causative factors are different for women vs men, in any case I would steer clear if my goal was another marriage.

Otherwise, let the casual social life commence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is that the type of woman you swipe right on only?
I think it goes for both genders.

On the other hand, I was just rejected by a guy because I have 3 kids. It is what it is

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re-entered the dating world after a 15 year marriage ended amicably, fwiw. Two kids, split custody, no lawyer etc. All good, no hate.

Started dating with Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and the never married mid 40s women are just- God help me for being honest here-super duper odd. Like, no wonder they never married.

What is that? They're OK to casually date, but the idea that it would go further is just a nonstarter. This isn't just for me, btw. Male friends and colleagues all report the exact.same.thing.

What is it? And more importantly, where do I find the 'normal' ones?

Never marrieds past the age of 40 are that way for good reason. I suppose the causative factors are different for women vs men, in any case I would steer clear if my goal was another marriage.

Otherwise, let the casual social life commence!

So are the divorced ones—can’t be loyal, can’t or won’t compromise, can’t share equally in running the house and raising the kids, can’t prioritize time etc. I guess we should all do each other a favor and stay single since everyone has baggage that no one else wants to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re-entered the dating world after a 15 year marriage ended amicably, fwiw. Two kids, split custody, no lawyer etc. All good, no hate.

Started dating with Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and the never married mid 40s women are just- God help me for being honest here-super duper odd. Like, no wonder they never married.

What is that? They're OK to casually date, but the idea that it would go further is just a nonstarter. This isn't just for me, btw. Male friends and colleagues all report the exact.same.thing.

What is it? And more importantly, where do I find the 'normal' ones?

Never marrieds past the age of 40 are that way for good reason. I suppose the causative factors are different for women vs men, in any case I would steer clear if my goal was another marriage.

Otherwise, let the casual social life commence!

So are the divorced ones—can’t be loyal, can’t or won’t compromise, can’t share equally in running the house and raising the kids, can’t prioritize time etc. I guess we should all do each other a favor and stay single since everyone has baggage that no one else wants to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are divorced are also nothing great.

Lean in author sherly Sandburg who got widowed with 2 kids and is 50 years old, got engaged to a 45 year divorced with kids hottie. Older women can marry younger men.

Sheryl is a billionaire, though.

She leaned in when she needed to. She got the hottie because she is a billionaire. Ok. No different than Elon Musk then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re-entered the dating world after a 15 year marriage ended amicably, fwiw. Two kids, split custody, no lawyer etc. All good, no hate.

Started dating with Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and the never married mid 40s women are just- God help me for being honest here-super duper odd. Like, no wonder they never married.

What is that? They're OK to casually date, but the idea that it would go further is just a nonstarter. This isn't just for me, btw. Male friends and colleagues all report the exact.same.thing.

What is it? And more importantly, where do I find the 'normal' ones?

Never marrieds past the age of 40 are that way for good reason. I suppose the causative factors are different for women vs men, in any case I would steer clear if my goal was another marriage.

Otherwise, let the casual social life commence!

So are the divorced ones—can’t be loyal, can’t or won’t compromise, can’t share equally in running the house and raising the kids, can’t prioritize time etc. I guess we should all do each other a favor and stay single since everyone has baggage that no one else wants to deal with.

Exactly. There’s a reason someone is divorced.... Having been married does not make one inherently sane and “normal”. Everyone has work to do within themselves to function well as a healthy partner and then maintain and grow that a within relationship.

[Anonymous]

Late 50s Divorced Man. 3 Kids.

Old and dear friend told me that when I was back on the dating scene, only go out with women who have had kids. Sage guidance.

I went out with some never-before-married and attractive and successful single women and each time I thought about this advice. They would always tell you that they understand the role of a parent because they are active aunts. Never bring up the topic of your kids or you might get an all out lecture on what you should do as a parent. With three kids at home that was always too much to take.

I found that age does make a difference. Too old and their kids were out of the house and they wanted to look forward to retirement. Too young and they were still thinking about having a family. I finally got together with a fantastic mid-40s woman with one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late 50s Divorced Man. 3 Kids.

Old and dear friend told me that when I was back on the dating scene, only go out with women who have had kids. Sage guidance.

I went out with some never-before-married and attractive and successful single women and each time I thought about this advice. They would always tell you that they understand the role of a parent because they are active aunts. Never bring up the topic of your kids or you might get an all out lecture on what you should do as a parent. With three kids at home that was always too much to take.

I found that age does make a difference. Too old and their kids were out of the house and they wanted to look forward to retirement. Too young and they were still thinking about having a family. I finally got together with a fantastic mid-40s woman with one kid.

Same demographic here - found a mid 40's woman with a kid that is a total disaster too in just about every way...your mileage may vary and I agree with your other points.

[Anonymous]

Single, solo mom in my late 40s. No, we are not any weirder than the married men who believe that we want to date them, or the divorced dads who want to make up for 15 years of a sexless marriage in one month.

The spinster stereotype is long dead, especially in the DC area. We are fit, attractive, engaged in life, and have options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re-entered the dating world after a 15 year marriage ended amicably, fwiw. Two kids, split custody, no lawyer etc. All good, no hate.

Started dating with Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and the never married mid 40s women are just- God help me for being honest here-super duper odd. Like, no wonder they never married.

What is that? They're OK to casually date, but the idea that it would go further is just a nonstarter. This isn't just for me, btw. Male friends and colleagues all report the exact.same.thing.

What is it? And more importantly, where do I find the 'normal' ones?

Never marrieds past the age of 40 are that way for good reason. I suppose the causative factors are different for women vs men, in any case I would steer clear if my goal was another marriage.

Otherwise, let the casual social life commence!

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re-entered the dating world after a 15 year marriage ended amicably, fwiw. Two kids, split custody, no lawyer etc. All good, no hate.

Started dating with Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and the never married mid 40s women are just- God help me for being honest here-super duper odd. Like, no wonder they never married.

What is that? They're OK to casually date, but the idea that it would go further is just a nonstarter. This isn't just for me, btw. Male friends and colleagues all report the exact.same.thing.

What is it? And more importantly, where do I find the 'normal' ones?

Lol at you and your entire cadre of "male friends and colleagues" collectively dismissing an entire demographic of women as crazy (one of the laziest and most common ways men dismiss women) because their life experiences don't match yours. Did you understand parenting or cohabitating before you did it? These are two of the most formative experiences of life. And guess what? They're unsuccessful for lots of people. See also: you and your "all good, no hate" divorce.

You want women with maturity and wisdom but absent the baggage that helps develop it. Talk about unrealistic expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Lol at you and your entire cadre of "male friends and colleagues" collectively dismissing an entire demographic of women as crazy (one of the laziest and most common ways men dismiss women) because their life experiences don't match yours. Did you understand parenting or cohabitating before you did it? These are two of the most formative experiences of life. And guess what? They're unsuccessful for lots of people. See also: you and your "all good, no hate" divorce.

You want women with maturity and wisdom but absent the baggage that helps develop it. Talk about unrealistic expectations.

I love you.

[Anonymous]

an unmarried 45 year old woman is still a better catch than a 45 year old divorced man. You've already proven yourself a relationship failure and you want another woman to take a chance on you? ha. Priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:an unmarried 45 year old woman is still a better catch than a 45 year old divorced man. You've already proven yourself a relationship failure and you want another woman to take a chance on you? ha. Priceless.

I beg to differ. A 45 year old never married woman wasn’t able to find anyone to begin with

[Anonymous]

I absolutely agree that never married men and women are weird. When I was younger (in my mid 20s) I used to date older men... I les them better than men in their 20s and early 30s. I dated several men in their late 30s early 40s and ended up marrying the only divorced man I had ever dated. The rest of them were super boring, strange and very set in their ways. They often looked great, but acted very very old. My DH did not have kids, but was in a relationship and married for 10 years before he divorced and was the most normal and easy going person I had ever met (also the most exciting and most passionate... but that’s for a different thread)