Never Been Married- 45 Year Old Woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids, you will have more luck dating women who already have kids. The only never married 45+ woman who will want to date you will be one who wishes she had been able to be a mother.

It's tough dating women who never had kids, when you have them. That is a huge thing to not have in common, or expect her to understand how they will always come before her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Young Jedi. You must go much younger. Much younger. I’m 52 and perhaps similar stats as you. My current girlfriend is 38 and never married. Loves me to pieces. She’s quite normal. As far as women go. Lol. Seriously. There’s a reason men go for the younger ones. Or find a nice divorced one who is older. I’ve had that situation for a while.

What he said. Go younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids, you will have more luck dating women who already have kids. The only never married 45+ woman who will want to date you will be one who wishes she had been able to be a mother.

It's tough dating women who never had kids, when you have them. That is a huge thing to not have in common, or expect her to understand how they will always come before her.

Women who have their own kids behave no better, I have discovered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I've got news for you. Despite what you think you've got plenty of baggage yourself.

A failed marriage. Kids who may (or may not) still develop problems about your divorce. It's still questionable whether they would be willing to accept another partner in your life. That can be a huge barrier.

The so-called amicable split with your ex might change in a heartbeat the minute you become serious with someone else. Your ex may be superficially nice to your girlfriend but when it becomes more serious/remarriage then watch the maternal claws come out. Especially if you have more children with second wife or second wife brings her children into your day-to-day life.

You are no prize. You are just as flawed (but in different ways) than the women you are complaining about.

Damn, sounds like you’re bleeding your own issues here. Wtf?! “I’ve got news for you”... you sound like a damn looney toon. How are you gonna tell him he’s no prize because his marriage didn’t work??

[Anonymous]

So the truth is people both men and women that do not have children simply cannot understand the demands of parenting because they themselves are perpetual children. They will alway prioritize their needs and wants.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Yes, I am.

dp than why are you divorced if you are?

Different 52yo divorced man here. But people divorce for all kinds of reasons. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a catch. It takes two to make a marriage work.

By definition, a divorced man is never a catch, he's a fail. Sorry.

A fail to you. Most mature adults realize that life happens and so does divorce.

[Anonymous]

I’m mid-40s and have never been married. I’ve been in a relationship for the last 10 years, but the idea of a legal marriage has never been important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m mid-40s and have never been married. I’ve been in a relationship for the last 10 years, but the idea of a legal marriage has never been important to me.

Hahahahahaha. You're married, paper or no paper, legal or not, that is effectively a marriage, no matter how much you bleat otherwise.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Yes, I am.

dp than why are you divorced if you are?

Different 52yo divorced man here. But people divorce for all kinds of reasons. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a catch. It takes two to make a marriage work.

By definition, a divorced man is never a catch, he's a fail. Sorry.

So I’m a fail because my ex wife basically went nuts? And apparently she was hiding it all along?

Yes I would say that is correct. I think if your wife suffered mental illness you should have supported her not abandoned her. That's a major fail.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Yes, I am.

dp than why are you divorced if you are?

Different 52yo divorced man here. But people divorce for all kinds of reasons. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a catch. It takes two to make a marriage work.

By definition, a divorced man is never a catch, he's a fail. Sorry.

So I’m a fail because my ex wife basically went nuts? And apparently she was hiding it all along?

Yes I would say that is correct. I think if your wife suffered mental illness you should have supported her not abandoned her. That's a major fail.

NP here.
You can’t stay and support someone who acts like she wants to be single. It takes two to make it work, and sometimes you have to leave a disastrous situation.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Yes, I am.

dp than why are you divorced if you are?

Different 52yo divorced man here. But people divorce for all kinds of reasons. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a catch. It takes two to make a marriage work.

By definition, a divorced man is never a catch, he's a fail. Sorry.

A fail to you. Most mature adults realize that life happens and so does divorce.

Agreed. True failure is a person who lacks the courage to admit their marriage is not working and leave. True failures stay for the sake of upholding the appearance of success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a never married 45 year old woman. No kids.

I don't have any more issues than anyone else and in some ways my life has been far more carefree and drama free than many of my married friends.

I completely understand how different life is for parents and married folks. Most of my friends and siblings have had kids over the years and I have changed my plans to accommodate them 1000s of times. I also am usually the last person consulted about plans as they assume I have the most flexible schedule.

For the most part, I still think I could be in a healthy happy relationship - as least as healthy and happy as those I see around me.

The hardest part for me would be that I have lived alone for 12 years. Sharing my space and my life would be an adjustment. The only person I have had to be responsible to or for is myself. However my nature I am a pretty generous and giving person and in past relationships, I haven't been about myself so I think that is not a major issue. What I think would be the hardest is that I have become very independent and being alone means you only have yourself so giving some of that up to let another person meet my needs or do things for me may be a challenge. I manage all my own emotions with no one to talk to, I come home to an empty house every day and spend a great deal of time alone. I do everything that needs to be done - from home repairs to financial decisions to career changes - all without anyone to confer with or make decisions with. I dealt with a major illness and went through it alone. I am just used to meeting all my own needs, making all the decisions that need to be made about my life myself, planning all my own time, coping with life alone. I trust myself and I think at this point, it will take someone pretty amazing or a love at first sight scenario to change the status quo.

Just to add I do have friends and family (I am not socially alone) but everyone has very busy lives and lots of their own responsibilities and so I rarely turn to others as I likely I have more resources myself than they have. I tend instead to help others out but rarely ask for help myself. In times when I have, there are people who respond.

I have gotten to travel the world, make risky career and life choices, go on adventures, live in different places - all without needing to consider someone else. There is a freedom in that. However there is also a loneliness.

If I hadn’t married and had a bunch of kids, I figured I would have a full and adventurous life alone (albeit with cats because I love them). I think people should not pity others who have full and interesting lives. There are plenty of lonely and miserable people who are not single (esp on DCUM). There are more ways to find companionship.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You, of course, being divorced with children, are quite the prize, right?

Yes, I am.

dp than why are you divorced if you are?

Different 52yo divorced man here. But people divorce for all kinds of reasons. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a catch. It takes two to make a marriage work.

By definition, a divorced man is never a catch, he's a fail. Sorry.

So I’m a fail because my ex wife basically went nuts? And apparently she was hiding it all along?

Yes I would say that is correct. I think if your wife suffered mental illness you should have supported her not abandoned her. That's a major fail.

Huh? How can you know what his wife was like? There are different kinds of mental illness and some are impossible to live with. You sound woefully naive plus rude which is a terrible combination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a never married 45 year old woman. No kids.

I don't have any more issues than anyone else and in some ways my life has been far more carefree and drama free than many of my married friends.

I completely understand how different life is for parents and married folks. Most of my friends and siblings have had kids over the years and I have changed my plans to accommodate them 1000s of times. I also am usually the last person consulted about plans as they assume I have the most flexible schedule.

For the most part, I still think I could be in a healthy happy relationship - as least as healthy and happy as those I see around me.

The hardest part for me would be that I have lived alone for 12 years. Sharing my space and my life would be an adjustment. The only person I have had to be responsible to or for is myself. However my nature I am a pretty generous and giving person and in past relationships, I haven't been about myself so I think that is not a major issue. What I think would be the hardest is that I have become very independent and being alone means you only have yourself so giving some of that up to let another person meet my needs or do things for me may be a challenge. I manage all my own emotions with no one to talk to, I come home to an empty house every day and spend a great deal of time alone. I do everything that needs to be done - from home repairs to financial decisions to career changes - all without anyone to confer with or make decisions with. I dealt with a major illness and went through it alone. I am just used to meeting all my own needs, making all the decisions that need to be made about my life myself, planning all my own time, coping with life alone. I trust myself and I think at this point, it will take someone pretty amazing or a love at first sight scenario to change the status quo.

Just to add I do have friends and family (I am not socially alone) but everyone has very busy lives and lots of their own responsibilities and so I rarely turn to others as I likely I have more resources myself than they have. I tend instead to help others out but rarely ask for help myself. In times when I have, there are people who respond.

I have gotten to travel the world, make risky career and life choices, go on adventures, live in different places - all without needing to consider someone else. There is a freedom in that. However there is also a loneliness.

How many cats?

How many jigsaw puzzles?

Be HONEST.

Zero cats. I am allergic to animals so pets are off the table however I am not home enough to be a good pet owner anyways.

I love jigsaw puzzles but have never done one in my own house. I think of them as fun things to do on vacation and my parents always have a jigsaw puzzle on the go at their place so anytime I visit, I will work on it.

Note that the never married 45 year old woman answered this funny but somewhat trollish question in a calm, sane, and rational manner while all the married and divorced women are going nuts screaming at the man who pos it. Draw your own conclusion

[Anonymous]

I find it weird when people make big generalizations about huge demographics. It’s hard as hell to find a good match, depends on the individual personality not life circumstances