Niece staying with me for 2 months - payment? Rent? Nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

?
With family like OP (and the poster above) who needs enemies, right?

I will forever be grateful to people who offered me a helping hand when I was in college and had nothing. OP could be investing in her nieces future. OP have you ever needed help in your life before? Do you hate your brother?

What makes you think that the niece and her family have nothing? This young woman is in college and she has landed a nice internship for herself. Op is happy to open up her home to her niece but it would be super cheap of the parents and the niece to not offer to pay the Op some rent money. It's called mutual consideration.

I would never, ever charge my siblings’ kids rent.

+1. House rules yes. Rent no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has offered OP food. We hosted my nephew last summer for the whole summer. SIL insisted on some money (we declined twice but she kept insisting) and nephew did contribute some to food/groceries. Although I strongly suspect it was SIL telling him to buy household things like TP, paper towels, cleaners, etc.

What we did do was draw up some "house rules". They were pretty lenient but had to do with cleaning and some very basic expectations regarding guests. We had no issues and he is likely coming for part of this summer as well

I think that you, your SIL and your nephew handled this perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never ask for anything. You are her aunt, and she is not moving in forever. I never cease to be amazed at American cheapness and the lack of familial bonds. If she was my dd staying at her aunt's, I would send my sister a wonderful present as a thank you. My sister would love spending time with my dd. If this is such a burden to you, you should refuse to host her, that would be less hurtful than this money grab.

+100

Minus points for the American cheapness comment -- there are cheap in ALL countries & ALL cultures.

I agree on most other points though... this OP sounds like she is going to be her sanctimonious, type A self the entire time her poor learning disabled niece is there and the OP will be a NIGHTMARE to live with.

[Anonymous]

I would never ask for money for this- it’s only 2 months.

[Anonymous]

I'd never in a million years have a niece or nephew stay in my house for a two month internship and expect anything at all in return. It's two months -- not two years. She'll be gone before you know it and you brother and his wife won't forget it and in one way or another reward your kindness. This is the kind of stuff that decent people do for family, I mean, wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ask for anything. You are her aunt, and she is not moving in forever. I never cease to be amazed at American cheapness and the lack of familial bonds. If she was my dd staying at her aunt's, I would send my sister a wonderful present as a thank you. My sister would love spending time with my dd. If this is such a burden to you, you should refuse to host her, that would be less hurtful than this money grab.

+100

Minus points for the American cheapness comment -- there are cheap in ALL countries & ALL cultures.

I agree on most other points though... this OP sounds like she is going to be her sanctimonious, type A self the entire time her poor learning disabled niece is there and the OP will be a NIGHTMARE to live with.

Then don't live with Op. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

+ 1
Says a lot about the family that OP has come from and her basic sense of decency though.

I would suggest that she asks for money if she was financially strapped and struggling to put food on the table.
In my experience, having family live with you does not increase your cost in a way that matters. How expensive is buying basic groceries for one more person? OMG!

OP said that her brother’s family spends a lot more on groceries than she does. The niece might be used to getting fancy items from Whole Foods while OP usually shops at Aldi. That would necessitate a discussion about the food budget at least.

[Anonymous]

She's family. You don't charge money for rent. The only way it would be okay for you to ask for money is if you had a room that you regularly rent out and you had to turn down a tenant, and even then, I would only request money if you were strapped for cash.

Otherwise, hard no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ask for anything. You are her aunt, and she is not moving in forever. I never cease to be amazed at American cheapness and the lack of familial bonds. If she was my dd staying at her aunt's, I would send my sister a wonderful present as a thank you. My sister would love spending time with my dd. If this is such a burden to you, you should refuse to host her, that would be less hurtful than this money grab.

+100

Minus points for the American cheapness comment -- there are cheap in ALL countries & ALL cultures.

I agree on most other points though... this OP sounds like she is going to be her sanctimonious, type A self the entire time her poor learning disabled niece is there and the OP will be a NIGHTMARE to live with.

A college kid can help out with cooking and cleaning and buying food. Parents should provide money for food and extra utilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

+ 1
Says a lot about the family that OP has come from and her basic sense of decency though.

I would suggest that she asks for money if she was financially strapped and struggling to put food on the table.
In my experience, having family live with you does not increase your cost in a way that matters. How expensive is buying basic groceries for one more person? OMG!

OP said that her brother’s family spends a lot more on groceries than she does. The niece might be used to getting fancy items from Whole Foods while OP usually shops at Aldi. That would necessitate a discussion about the food budget at least.

OP should buy what she normally buys and either niece eats it or buys her own food. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want nominal rent unless I were very close to the niece, to defray utilities and general hassle. I think it’s reasonable and will make you feel better about the arrangement. Her family is saving a ton by having her stay with you. It sounds like she’s not especially sensitive or careful, so you will have a little cushion when, inevitably, she breaks stuff or damages it. I’d also want to specify meal arrangements and house rules (does she have to be home at a certain time? Should she text if she’ll be out past midnight? Can she have friends come hang out at the house?) ahead of time.

In case I sound harsh with the above response I want to say that I have a teen with aspergers and living with him presents challenges that make this a pretty big imposition. You are very likely going to have to provide more support and companionship and coaching than you’d provide to a typical niece, and tolerate some quirky behaviors — and honestly if you aren’t used to it, several months of it will be a lot. So I’m a yes on rent, or at the very least groceries paid by her parents.

+1. My DD with Aspergers loves to eat, take long, hot showers and insists on changing her clothes often. This translates to significant food, utility and personal hygiene costs. I would also talk to her parents about a nominal rent.

[Anonymous]

Is your home in between college and living on her own or is she back to school when she leaves you? If the former, I’d ask her to pay something reasonable ($500?) each month the give it back to her at the end. Help her understand how budgeting works and adjust to that life in a safe space and then give her back the money to get her started.

[Anonymous]

Cannot believe you are even asking. The answer is no you do not charge her! Yes, lay down the house rules.

My niece lived with us all summer (10 weeks), at no charge. This is just what family does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would either tell her she’s on her own for groceries and cleaning, (and follow through to make sure the cleaning happens) or I would charge a nominal amount like $400 to cover groceries and extra housekeeping visits.

Uh... $400 is NOT a nominal amount, are you crazy??

She's staying for 2 months, not being put on the lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much would your niece be paying for room/board at college? I think it's fair to charge that much, maybe a little less. I'd probably charge around $600/month which would be very fair for room/board.

She'll be gone a lot for her internship and she'll be driving herself places, so having her live with you for a couple of months should be fairly easy.

Omg, another one.

I sure hope you never have to depend on others for simply the kindness in their heart, or you may have to pay for that... karma

And btw, $600 would be making money off of her niece, NOT helping out family.