Niece staying with me for 2 months - payment? Rent? Nothing?

[Anonymous]

I would set very clear expectations. If there is a way she could help you, try to identify it. For example maybe she could fold laundry, wash dishes, or make one meal a week. Just know she may not do the chore the way you do. But, I’ve been on both sides of this and the student did not contribute at all. At that age, I really didn’t know what to do and was use to having free rent and food at home and at college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

Right. And FAMILY doesn't use FAMILY. They contribute to the household that they are living in. Lesson 101 on how to be a decent adult.

My guess is that you are estranged from most of your family.

[Anonymous]

I think it's more important to talk about how to make it succeed as a joint project, rather than to think in terms of what is owed and charged.

Look, supporting family is great. I've been supported when younger and done my share of supporting others once older. When it works, it is fabulous. When it doesn't, it can be hellish -- this is shared living space, and if you can't retreat to a safe space to shut out stress for two months, that's hard (especially if OP is an introvert).

Wanting to make it work isn't a bad thing to take into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you should not accept or request payment. Think of this as an opportunity to help your niece develop life skills she'll need but doesn't already have, e.g. cleaning up after herself, respectfully sharing space. Talk with her about expectations at the outset. Even if it's terrible, it's two months. You can handle it. And from the sounds of it, you may gain some life skills of your own in the process.

No one owes you free room and board. Op's niece is fortunate to have an aunt/uncle who would offer her a place to stay at a below market rate. Of course she should contribute to the household. I like the idea of giving her a shelf in your refrigerator to use for her groceries. She can buy and prepare her own meals.

Signed-
Mom of two older teenagers who would never allow my kids to impose on a relative like that without offering to pay rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

Right. And FAMILY doesn't use FAMILY. They contribute to the household that they are living in. Lesson 101 on how to be a decent adult.

My guess is that you are estranged from most of your family.

DP. My guess is that you are a major taker in your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never ask for anything. You are her aunt, and she is not moving in forever. I never cease to be amazed at American cheapness and the lack of familial bonds. If she was my dd staying at her aunt's, I would send my sister a wonderful present as a thank you. My sister would love spending time with my dd. If this is such a burden to you, you should refuse to host her, that would be less hurtful than this money grab.

Totally agree. Americans really have nerve to ask for money their own family members. Jesus help us all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

Right. And FAMILY doesn't use FAMILY. They contribute to the household that they are living in. Lesson 101 on how to be a decent adult.

My guess is that you are estranged from most of your family.

No one mooches off of me so I have no reason to be estranged from them.

[Anonymous]

Don't ask or accept - but be sure of end date, at least approx. I have been thru similar and the stay ended up being way longer than i expected or wasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

She is free to say no to letting nice stay there. But asking for money is cheap cheap cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

She is free to say no to letting nice stay there. But asking for money is cheap cheap cheap.

* niece not nice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

That young lady is her niece. Good lord.

-np

?
With family like OP (and the poster above) who needs enemies, right?

I will forever be grateful to people who offered me a helping hand when I was in college and had nothing. OP could be investing in her nieces future. OP have you ever needed help in your life before? Do you hate your brother?

What makes you think that the niece and her family have nothing? This young woman is in college and she has landed a nice internship for herself. Op is happy to open up her home to her niece but it would be super cheap of the parents and the niece to not offer to pay the Op some rent money. It's called mutual consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m disgusted you would even consider taking money.

Oh well. Be disgusted. I find your entitled attitude that the Op is somehow obligated to give this young lady free room and board beyond disgusting. So there.

She is free to say no to letting nice stay there. But asking for money is cheap cheap cheap.

If the niece and her parents can ask for a cheap place to stay, then Op can ask for a little bit of money to offset the costs of her stay.

Op is the one doing the favor for the niece. Remember that.

[Anonymous]

OP how will your niece cover gas/metro/haircuts/etc? Is this a paid or unpaid internship?

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to the parents. They should offer a few hundred a month. You need to let them know you need help with food and extras.

[Anonymous]

I would not ask for rent or food money but I just offered our guest room to a friend’s child who needs to be in DC for an internship and am really hoping they come!

I will simply have what I always have in the house and will assume she will buy anything special she wants and that she will also have money to metro or eat out with friends. If we go out as a family, we will pay. I’m fortunate in that I do not need the money and so feel very lucky to be in this place of giving back.

In your place, I would just have the conversation with brother and child that she is welcome to stay, explain what your routine is in terms of work, household chores, and meals and asks if she is comfortable with it.

Also mention you know food preferences vary so she should work with her parents on a food budget and you will make sure she knows how to safely get to store when she needs to.

You can also casually work in that there is much to do in DC and much is free but she may also want to budget x amount for special meal, boat trip, shopping at eastern market - whatever.

This way all your concerns are covered in a legitimate but welcoming way. I loved staying with my aunt for two weeks every summer ( just for fun). Some of my most favorite childhood memories. I hope it works well for both of you!